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Unhealthy girlfriend.

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henrywat | 10:20 Tue 02nd Dec 2008 | Relationships & Dating
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My gf and I are both 25 and a year into the relationship. Thing is I love her very much and think she has a great character - but physical attraction is important to me, my girlfriend HATES the gym, doesnt like exercising, wont ever wanna go on a run, and 'is too tired after work to cook healthily' always finding excuses.

How can I get her to start trimming down and looking slimmer without being offensive?

Please, i dont want any replies saying 'you should love her how she is, whatever her size....'
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I can't belive the amount of people on here slating what henry's saying.

Let me guess, you're all single and / or fat?!

It's not healthy to be obese and if my girlfriend went up 2 dress sizes in just over six months i'd be concerned too!

Physical attraction is a big part in a relationship. It's the first thing that you notice about that person and draws you to them!

Anyway, i could rant all day at those ignorant people but he's some constuctive advice...

Try spending weekends doing things rather then in the week. Like Swimming (even if it's a water park for starters). Try walks in the park with a stop off for a healthy lunch or maybe a drink. You could also get something for the house like Wii fit or a dance mat, something that makes exercising fun. Because to be honest, i don't find exercising in the gym fun either but me and my girlfriend do those things and it works.

Also, try talking to her, there maybe something emotional that's bothering her.

I hope that helps, and just ignore the majority of feminists that replied to you.
Nothing will change unless she wants to..thats about the long and the short of it.

You could help out by cooking some healthy meals. Is it because she doesnt like healthy stuff or just cant be bothered to cook it?

I dont think she is unhealthy in her size at all. But then you didnt say how tall she is.

If she's a keen photographer why not suggest some little walks out on a sunday afternoon or something on a photo taking mission and gradually build it up to bigger walks.

I totally get that you like taking care of yourself (and good for you) but bot everyones the same so be carefull your not forcing your beliefs on her otherwise you might start to push her away.
I think the Wii fit would be a good start. It may not be the best form of excercise but its possibly a step in the right direction.

A lot of people get put off from going to the gym etc as it just sounds too boring..maybe something a little more different such as dancing, horse riding or martial arts might be better..or even yoga or something. There are also some great street dancing classes about these days which are great for people of our age group as you get to listen to great music, learn some routines and bust some cracking moves (lol) on the dancefloor when out with your friends.

If she's put on weigh quickly it does sound like theres an emotional reason...so maybe a doctors visit would be wise. We all put on weight when we get into new relationships (and a year is quite new) because we get content...but its best not to rule out a health reason too.
have you considered taking the pressure of the gym off her , instead take up a sport or go for long weekend walks where she could take some pictures as well. I would imagine she feels quite down and depressed which will make her feel tired.

Take the emphasis of her weight gain away from her, do some more energetic fun things like going ice skating, bikeriding, country walks which are good things for beginners of all fitness levels.
I hate gyms, and I don't like the whole gym culture. As others have said, their are plenty of other ways to get exercise - walking swimming, cycling - all healthy, enjoyable and much more inspiring, fun and interesting than going to a gym where people are body obsessed.

I understand that you are worried about your girlfriends lethargy and want to help, but you do sound a bit obsessive above health and fitness. In fact you sound rather boring. Have you ever asked her what she would like to do.





Bravo 1984doherty, I agree with all that you have said and would like to add that henrywat is very brave to run the gauntlet of the likes of sallabanas, lakitu, sara3 and a few more of the "women's AB institute" But henry how could you possibly expect sensible and helpful answers from a group of women who regularly talk to each other on the PC with such comments as...good morning...it's raining...what are you doing to do day? even "i could shag so and so, happy birthday,I am going to bed now.....c'mon henry, who are the sad ones.
Sensible question answered by "Women from the Village of the Damned"
Hee Hee LL ;-)
Sallabananas........yeah! it was a bit over the top wasn't it?
Henry... can you please suggest to your girlfriend that she makes an appointment to see her GP/Doctor because being exhausted after half an hour's walking is NOT right.... If she is too tired to do anything she may have a vitamin deficiency (iron, B12 etc) - a quick little blood test will check this out.

There is nothing worse than being nagged to do something when all you want to do is sleep - I know, I've been there - and it wasn't until it was discovered that I had pernicious anaemia (inability to absorb vitamin B12) that everything was explained. Now a regular little B12 jab keeps me active, healthy and fully of energy !
squad - I am not offended by being described as one of the "Women from the village of the damned" - I find it quite funny. I shall add that title to my name rather than B.A. - it has a better ring to it somehow.

We did try & be sensible, but henry needs to see both sides. And henry may not always be a stick thin, gorgeous, fit, full head of hair, fully functioning gym bod himself. And he will still want to be, and expect to be, loved when any of that happens.
Does that mean you still fancy me sallabananas?
Jugglering....B12 defy in a 25 yr old is very uncommon.
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Rest assured, im not going to stop loving her because of the above topic, but I do like to know that everything is ok with my girlfriend. I wont and wouldnt ever drag her to a gym or anything of the sort.

Many of the suggestions have been wonderful, and we're going to start tango lessons next wednesday. So those of you who were so helpful to give me the suggestions, I thank you very very much.

I find it very sad that others chose to use this medium to shoot out at me. Very sad indeed.
Question Author
At the end of this I really hope to have an energetic girlfriend who can pick up her camera and go out shooting in the world and follow her dreams.

I've always been a sucker for a man in a uniform squad. Especially the RSF - coming from Lincolnshire 'n all that.
Yours sincerely,
SB, WoVoD.
Good for you Henry - don't take offence at a few jokes mate.

And as for tango lessons - I think that is brilliant. Good on you both.
Tango - now your talking!!!! :o) Enjoy yourselves.
Good luck henry.
:-)
Oddly enough salla, I have never been in uniform.....but I have to say that you would love ME...........I do.

P.SLook under the mince pies thread.
have done.
now you look >>

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