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nannon | 21:28 Thu 26th Jun 2008 | Relationships & Dating
8 Answers
i actually, right now, hate men.
The only guy i ever TRULY loved, that i met three years ago, ended up to be in r'ship and stuff. Truly found the meaning of a broken heart. Devestated me. He left saying he was moving, Left me standing in the street sobbing, for a year i thought he would come back for me. I never felt passion that i felt for him, no - one else has come close. After he left i found out he has been sleeping with other people as well.
Anyway, in drunken haze thought it was good idea to try to track him down ...which i did eventually. Slightly embarassing but still. He basically has no interest in what ive been doing for the last three years, and i so want to know everything. After some more detecrive work, i think i have figured out that he left to be with this other girl, this tupid mouse looking thing that he always told me he didnt even LIKE! Not that they are togther anymore - although dont know if he with anyone else.
And now three years on i'm sat here crying over someone who treated me like sh*t, and it hurts as much as it did at the time. .and i found out he is living back in this city.
I want him to have missed me, to have loved me and he doesnt feel anything. In a way i want to tell him everything i felt and feel but i know that i either wouldnt get a response or he would just be like 'oh'. And that would hurt even more. How can he have no guilt over how he treated me. I told him i loved him and meant it so deeply. How can i get him out of my mind? Over the last three years i have thought about him constantly - he is affected me so much. Even when i have met other people its never had the spark that i felt when i wa swith him.


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oh and i will add that when his girlf. kicked him out after finding out he stayed with me and i cooked for him, washed his clothes etc. Text him one day to say what you wnat for dinner and got one back saying "not coming back, thanks though you've been great!"
Know i sound like a mug and have never been apart from wwith him
I don't mean to be insensitive but please get a grip. The only thing you can do is to stop feeding this torment and get on with your life. The more you dwell on this the worse it will become.

Put your energy into something that will give you something in return. Anything else.

He left you for someone else because the relationship with you wasn't what he wanted. People are allowed to do that. It is perfectly normal. Would you rather he stayed so you could grow old and miserable with someone who obviously doesn't love you?

Hating men will not help.
Youve been badly treated .And havent we all at some time?The worst thing you can do is put your life on hold fro someomne so undeserving.Youre obviously full of emotion , and if you just find the right guy , and he was definitely not the right guy , then you have a lot to give .Its ok to feel pain but you need to move on.Even if its some time on your own , you neeed to get this guy ourt of your system.Hes a loser and a user.

Im sure you deserve better.


Is this what used to be called"carrying a torch for someone" ?......we have all been there hun. Maybe we weren't treated badly.......but we loved ,and lost. And often for reasons that are incomprehensible....all we know is that it hurts like hell. But after 3yrs it is definitely time to put it behind are only torturing youself now, and it is time that you moved on. Put him out of your mind...and remember..a spark is just want a full-blown bon-fire!!
I do feel for you.

You are caught in an endless loop of pain and regret - especially poignant is the part where you say you wanted him to love you, knowing that he didn't, and doesn't.

You have to get your mind onto something else, this is simply damaging you, with no prospect of a resolution in sight.

I have a friend who hurt so badly over loosing a woman that he neded up in a psychiatric ward - he simply fell apart completely. That was twenty-plus years ago, and he is married with children with but still pines after his lost love, but it's not the focus of his every living moment any more.

You will never forget this man, but you have to get him into a place in your mind where he doesn;t hurt you so badly.

You can train yourself to feel less about this, it can be done, but it is not easy.

You must make a start though, now, today.

He is not coming back, you are holding on to an emoitonal lifeline, and there is nothing on the end of it when you pull.

Look forward, be positive, and find things to occupy as much of your time as you can, and start to reconsrtruct your feelings without him taking over like this.

Good luck.
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Thank you for your answers!
I have been in relationships since but just becasue i can suddenly contact him its screwing me up! Also because i have had two weeks off think i have had too much time on my hands! Start my new job on Monday so will probably get a grip then!
Excellent, new job, new focus, new environment. Who knows you might even meet a real man through work one way or another.

The key to gettting what you want is knowing exactly what it is. People who know what they want advertise it in their manner without even trying and those who match are attracted to it. You definitely don't want to exude the kinds of things you have just gone through.

Good luck with the new job and finding what you want.
You have to face up to the fact that you offered everything on a plate to him and he still turned his nose up. Simply put, he doesn't want a rlationship with you right now, and may never want a relationship with you. You have to accept this.

I was with a girl for 12 years and then one day she just said she didn't love me any more and left. It hurts but you get over it and eventually realise that if it wasn't right for them, then it certainly wouldn't be right for you.

I don't pine over my ex, I am happily married to someone I love even more and actually am now thankful that my ex was bluntly honest to say that the relationship wasn't for her. Otherwise I would never have met my wife.

So move on, perhaps delete his number if it helps, and find some satisfcation in your life that doesn't involve this man.

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