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Advice needed - JEALOUSY

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Blinky | 14:02 Fri 04th Jan 2008 | Relationships & Dating
4 Answers
I have been dating a guy for 15 months, who just so happens to be best mates with my male cousin (I met him through my cousin as I was living with my cousin until recently).
They are in a band together, although nothing has come of it for 2 years; they went to Music College together and spend a lot of time sitting around on the computer together. Issue is that I am extremely jealous of the amount of time my boyfriend spends with him (He even warned me when we first started dating that he does spend a lot of time with my cousin).
I thought when you first start seeing someone, you're supposed to have butterflies and want to spend every minute with them, but I was always put 2nd best, and only seen when my cousin was busy which effectively freed up my boyfriends time.

Should I just give up on this guy? I hate having these feelings towards my cousin as we are the same age (24) and have also been a close knit family. I've talked to my boyfriend about it tons of times, but he denies that he spends that much time with him?! We are talking 4 days a week, plus after work in the evenings, sometimes till 2am-3am in the morning. Then I get the call asking if he can come round and stay. Please help, I am at my wits end!!


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the way I see it just because you are in a relationship and love someone doesnt mean you have to give up what you like doing and revolve your life around one person. People who do that are soppy geeks. do u really want to go out with a soppy geek! just let him do what he wants to do and when he wants to see you tell him your busy. Give him a small taste of his own medicine. he will soon make an effort
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But i've tried that, I didn't ring him for a week, then finially he rang me on the Friday asking if i was ok, we met up, he said he'd make more of an effort with me. He did over the weekend then by Monday it was back to square one, he saw my cousin the next 4 nights in a row ( I work in the day so am busy) i saw him early hours Thursday night when he turned up at my house. i believe that a relationship should be 50/50, surely he should at least make out that he wants to see me!? What happens when people get married, you don't move in togther and then expect to go to bed on your own most nights waiting for your partner to return because he's always seeing his mates!
The reality blinky is that this is what he is probably like, if its not seeing your cousin it will be something else, moaning at him in the longterm wont change the kind of guy he is, in fact it will probably make him more secretive.

If after 15 months he is like this, he is more likely to just get worse over time not better, with the same revolving scenario of you complaining and him making temporary changes to suit then back to normal again.

If you can honestly see yourself with this guy then you have to imagine this is a likely furture, if you cant then you need to re evaluate the situation.

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Advice needed - JEALOUSY

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