How should we respond to our lesbian daughter?

[Philanthro]

Our twenty-five year old daughter announced last year that her roomate that shared her flat was "more" than just a roomate.

She lives in London and we live in Wolverhampton. We were shocked and disgusted. She has dated men before and even came close to being engaged once. We told her we would always love her no matter what, but we could never accept her lifestyle.

Until now, when she comes home to visit, she has always come alone, and has only told one of her siblings about her lesbainism. Two days ago, she left a message saying she wanted to come to visit next week with her partner, and would stay in a hotel.

My husband and I are torn, our minds say to love our daughter regardless of her preferences. Our hearts tell us we don't want anything to do with her or this other girl, nor do we want our 17, 15, and 8 year old girls to see this immoral relationship, and worry they may view our meeting this girl as some kind of sick acceptance.

Any help out there as far as ideas go? We are very upset and confused!

[ermintrude35]

....at the age of 18, my parents dissaproved of my partner, they made me choose, them or him...I chose him , and they wanted nothing further to do with me..... I did not see or speak to my parents for over 7 years, my father even had a heart attack, and a 3x double bypass operation, and my mother never let me know, a neighbour told me.... it took this awful turn of events and the birth of my daughter to finally get us back together...sadly my father died shortly afterwards, but we had made our peace and my daughter was the apple of his eye...my relationship with my mother is a strained one... but what I am trying to say is life is too short, she is still your daughter and always will be, how can you love her one day and not the next?...don't make her choose....

[Doc Spock]

At least you are normal Ermentrude.

[jackthehat]

You previous postings have already reinforced in us the fact that you are a heterosexual male...................but quite why you feel forced to contribute stupid comments to a sensible thread on a very real dilemma posted by a mother is beyond most of us.

Don't you have the slightest inklings of when it is right and proper to keep your keyboard shut ?

[ermintrude35]

..normal?.... do you mean hetrosexual?...I may be male for all you know.... gay couples do have children you know....

[Ice-Maiden]

You haven't spelt her name right!

[Doc Spock]

Jack, as a queer you are not qualified to enter in a discussion of this nature. Keep out.

[Doc Spock]

Gawd help us. The nutters are taking over.

[Doc Spock]

Gay couples have children????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

[jackthehat]

As a queer, I would have have thought I am absolutely the 'right sort of person' to be involved in this particular thread............

Retired, bitter OAPs who spy on their neighbours are probably not really qulaified to comment upon this particular set of circumstances................but that's never stopped you has it?

[Redbel]

Isn't our love for our children supposed to unconditional?

[Doc Spock]

Just what is this "spy on neighbour" crap ??


I live in a cottage in a field..

[jackthehat]

And some of 'us' queers have the unconditional love and support of our parents.............
I wouldn't say that the early years between my parents and me weren't painful, at times................but they never turned their faces from me in the way in which Philanthro suggests.

[Ice-Maiden]

It is, redbel, but I've been wondering about the poster. Sometimes people have this type of attitude through religious and social indoctrination - in which case, whatever's said on here won't make a breath of difference.

[jackthehat]

So you were lying when you told us all about your neighbour who was off work for no good reason that I can see ? The one that you twitch your net curtain at...........who everyone else thought was probably suffering from paranoia brought about by being spied upon..............

[jackthehat]

I think Philanthro has probably gone to bed by now...........

[Doc Spock]

Flippin eck jack, where did you dig that up from. Not real you know.

[Redbel]

Very true Ice Maiden.......my cousin is gay (dont like the word queer)....He's in his early 50's now. He came out when he was 14 now thats going back some years.....but as old fashioned as my aunt and uncle where they accepted him, never called him, disowned him.....He was their son......no matter what.

[Ice-Maiden]

Yeah - but the joke you've just posted is, isn't it? Do you have something against gay people?!!