Am I just wasting my time

[Amiira]

I have asked before on here about my relationship. Long term partner moved away for work, we broke up but got back together. All my doing. I have asked him, what are this plans for us, for the future. He says he doesnt know! He said, if we got married, then what else is there to look forward to????

Work is all he talks about. And after being with him for years, I now truly wonder if I should call it a day. He says I demand too much. I see him maybe 4 nights a month. How is that demanding.

I could go on, but I wont :(

Advice please

[Pea Pod]

Tell him to sling his hook.I bet you see more of the postman.He doesn`t sound in the least interested in a future together. Would you miss those four nights,I don`t think so.

[Amiira]

Thanks Pea Pod. He never talks about a future with me ever. Feel a real mug :(

[Pea Pod]

So this is one of the nights you don`t see him then. Even when you`re married you can feel very alone. When you look down the posts it makes yiou wonder why any body bothers.

[Amiira]

Thats the thing Pea Pod. He is actually in my area tonight. 5 mins drive away and staying at his brothers with his kid. Yet he could not be bothered to make the effort to see me!

Think that says it all..

Thanks again for replying

[1kayvee]

Think you've answered your own question there Amiira, he's 5 mins away and not coming to see you. You know what he is a USER! You aren't demanding at all. Tell him to shove it, you deserve so much more. I'm with peapod on this one. Good luck!!

[raysparx1]

Amiira,

I think you know that it doesn't really look like you have a future together,when he said if you got married what else is there to look forward to, I will tell the prat what there is, hopefully years of being with the one you love,a cuddle on the sofa while watching a film,the warmth of the one you love when you are in bed,laughing,crying,eating together,I could go on for ages,but I won't, I wish you a happy and loving future Amiira but I don't think it is with him, Ray xx

[chicklin]

Four nights a month?!! Sorry but that's hardly worth calling a relationship. Go and find yourself someone who can't wait to be with you. Someone who thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread. You're worth much more than you're getting from this man. Aim higher and find someone who deserves you - he doesn't.

[sam100]

Couldnt agree more with the posts so far....you got to go out and get on with it as this person is not worth your time and energy...!

[Amiira]

Thank you all for your replies. Ray what you said is exactly what I was thinking.

He did email me this morning (yes email) from his brothers house to again say I was demanding. And I should make more effort to drive to see him.

I emailed him a reply saying I do not want to ever see him again.

This time. I mean it.

Thank you all again. x

[raysparx1]

Hello Amiira,

I know that must have been a hard decision,or was it ? but you deserve more than he is giving,just being with the one you love is such a wonderful thing, I hope you find that soon,he sounds very self obsessed and selfish,
good luck Amiira, Ray xxxx

An e-mail ? is there no end to his romance.

[mandimoo]

i feel slightly sick for you. its so fookin demoralising to be treated like this, your self esteem must be as low as can be. i feel like i wanna shake some sense into you and then give you a mighty big hug. please stay away from him. do some things to make yourself happy. i really dislike the guy you describe. sorry, i know im being judgemental. xxx

[WendyS]

If he wanted to marry you I think he would have asked you after all this time. He sounds as if he's quite happy to drift without commitment and if he feels as if there woud be nothing else to look forward to if he married you, he definitely has no enthusiasm about the married state.

You've obviously reached the stage in your life where you want and need commitment. He hasn't, so I guess it's time for you to bite the bullet and move on without him.

Don't have an acrimonious break. Just be unavailable when he phones and don't make any more first moves yourself to contact him. Look around for some new things you can do in your spare time. Join a gym, start dancing classes, doing some volunteering work. You'll surely find lots of interesting people out there who will be more glad of your company than he is.

[Amiira]

Hi again Ray, It was not a hard decision yesterday, but today o I felt a bit low. But the relationship was not going anywhere. He had made it clear his future was with his new job. And not with me.

You are spot on, he is very self obsessed and selfish. Although he could be a kind man. Dont worry, I am not getting soft again :) But thanks again for replying. I hope sometime later on I will meet someone who really does love me.x

Mandimoo. I think I posted this question because I needed some sense shaken into me. So thankyou for replying. Yes I will be keeping away from him. x

WendyS, You have helped me out before on my ongoing boyfriend problems. So a big thank you to you too. He wont contact me. He will wait for me to start sending texts saying I made a mistake etc etc (which I have stupidly done in the past) But really its over now. x

You are all great. And have helped me a lot. I really appreciate it x

[tallgirl35]

Hey Amiira

I posted a question a bit back about my relationship with a married man... have heard from him over the weekend(he's mixed up and doesn't know what to do). I know what I should do, but can't seem to find the strength.. Hope you don't mind me asking how you managed it and how you feel now?

[Amiira]

Hi tallgirl, well my situation is different from yours as he is not married. We are both divorced.

But my problem with my now ex boyfriend (of several years) has been going on for a while

Even after all the problems we had, I did still find it difficult to end it. But I think the feeling was probably mutual anyway. Or so he put in his "email" I did feel very sad this morning. But if there is not future in a relationship, then dont stay with it. Life is too short.