Help please

[Mamhus]

I am a married man and I do not love my wife I am with her for reasons beyond my control and i have recently met another lady through a mutual friend and I know that this woman is the woman I want to spend my life with i do not want to have an affair as that goes against everything I beleive in and I cannot end my marriage I am in a real trouble spot can anyone please advise me?

[libby1980]

If you know you do not love your wife then you owe it to her to end things now. It will be hard, but you have to do what is going to make you both happiest in the long run, there is no point staying together if you are miserable. Please don't have an affair, give your wife the respect she deserves and sit her down to discuss this.

[crete]

i think you should discuss the issue with your wife and the lady, all together over a nice bottle of wine

[B00]

Not quite sure why you're asking this question to be honest....
If as you say you can't end your marriage, you'll just have to forget what could have happened with the other woman then won't you?

Sometimes life IS black and white.

[Mamhus]

ending the marriage is a definate no, it is not an option for me. I can stay like I am but it will mean forever misery for me and I know that really my wife could do better

[B00]

So make the best of what you got then mate!

[Mamhus]

I have been, but it is difficult as I do not love the woman I am married to. There is mno sprtak and I was ok with that until I realised there could be more to life than what I have

[mccfluff]

why can't you end it?

[B00]

Yes I symathise, I really do....I've been there, so I got divorced.

But if you say you can't end your marriage and you can't/wont have an affair, I'm still a bit flummoxed over what else you think we can suggest for you to do.

Ermmmmmmmmm, how big's ya patio????

[tictactoe]

Enigma code needed here...

mno sprtak =

[Im a BusyBee]

Well if you wont leave your wife and you wont have an affair what do you want us lot to say??

[crete]

is your wife unhappy in the marriage and do you have children ?

[Mamhus]

I was just hoping for some friendly advice, that is all. This situation makes me very unhappy and with very few options I see no way out

[Mamhus]

I think my wife is happy, she seems oblivious to what I am feeling and no, there are no children involved although my wife wants to start soon but I see no way that can happen

[crete]

sorry to appear rude but it is all about your feelings.

[redcrx]

I think your wife deserves better. If she wants children and you dont love her enough to have a family then you should split.
You need to decide if you want your wife and a family or the other woman.

[Mamhus]

If it were my wife with the issue then it would be her posting on this site, but seeing as it is me then yes, you are right, it *is* all about my feelings

[Mamhus]

I cannot leave my wife, it goes against everything and the rest of the family would not condone it.

[crete]

o k dont leave your wife dont have an affair get a hobby to keep you out of mischief.

[~Wingnut~]

Hi.
Is it due to your religion you can't end your marriage?

I think if you aren't happy then you owe it to yourself and your wife to be honest about this. Does your wife not see how unhappy you are? Maybe she feels the same but is putting a front on it like you? Just remember also the grass isn't always greener, maybe you just need to end the marriage not jump from this to something that seems more fulfilling than what you have at the moment.

If it is due to money you can't end your marriage, is it really worth it?
I wouldn't want my husband to stay with me if he wasn't in love with me.
I hope there is a light at the end of this tunnel for you.

[redcrx]

well as the saying goes 'put up or shut up'
If you cant divorce and as it wouldnt be fair on anyone to have an afair then you have no choice but to accept your marriage and its values.