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babylilo | 20:57 Thu 09th Dec 2010 | Body & Soul
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ok so i met this guy a couple of months ago when i started work. He works with his ex but they seem to get on ok. i told one of my friends at work that i liked him and they said that i should tell him so i did. we met up a couple of times and when its just me and him its amazing. we go out in groups as well but when we go out in a group he always acts different. we normally go out with people from work which includes his ex. he just acts really distant as if i have done something wrong. i told him this was how i felt. that when we were out he acted differently. distant. he said he didn't think he did. a couple of hours later i got a text which said that he acted like that when we were out because he didn't want people at work talking about us which i can kind of see. anyways i was told by one of my friends the other day that he was still sleeping with his ex but that he doesn't know how reliable the information is as he hasn't heard anything for the last couple of months. the first time i told him i liked i told him i wouldn't be a third person and he said there is no third person. i don't know what to believe anymore but i really like him. him and his ex have been slipt up for the last year but they still get on really well. go to cinema and for dinner together.
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if he cant show his feelings for you and you want to be an 'item' then its not gonna happen. Ignore him when out, see how he likes it.
Ask him. Talk about it. If it's a deal breaker then walk away. Your friend may have it wrong or bang on.
You've known him a couple of months, your friend hasn't heard anything about him sleeping with the ex for a couple of months - so maybe he was and stopped when he met you. As for being different with you in a crowd, I went out with a colleague before and neither of us wanted anyone at work to know for a good while. This meant we were different around other folk, and I did take it personally sometimes at first, but then I realised we had to be that way if we wanted to keep it to ourselves. Once we knew where things were going with us we told people and could be more ourselves. We've been together for 6 years and married for 4 of them now.
Just talk to him and trust your own judgement rather than what friends are telling you. If he says he's not with his ex and you believe him then go with that. As for the distant thing, it'll resolve itself in time.

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