Annoying Husband

[phillipa.d]

Does anyone else husband/partner do this? I go to bed, he stays up. I drift off, but cannot sleep properly because he is downstairs with the tv on. After a couple of hours, I am fully wide awake again, and cannot stand it anymore, and get up and come downstairs. He is asleep in the chair, but wakes hearing me coming down. He gets up and switches the tv off, and goes to bed. I am now back in bed, he has started to snore, and I am wide awake and fuming!!! Sometimes, I think he is not asleep, but watching porn. I dont have a problem with him watching porn particularly, but what if he does fall asleep, and one of my girls wake and come downstairs and see it? I have now had ANOTHER broken night. Then I am tired the next day. So much for the early night. Has anyone else had this problem? it is really winding me up!!

[pinktwink]

i am the late one in my house have you spoken to him about this

[phillipa.d]

Yes, I have Pink. He says he wont do it again, blah, blah. And then it happens again a couple of nights later! Thing is my ex used to do it too, and it winds me completely up!!! I hate it but cant seem to find a way around it!! It must be a man thing!!

I have just sat here and written down 21 reasons why I hate this so much!!

Why are men so inconsiderate????????

[pinktwink]

how about you do a role reversla stay up late with TV on etc

or sleep in another room for a night

[trt]

phillipa,

Why do you think hes watching porn?

[phillipa.d]

yes, we need a spare room! I would love my own room and completely understand why older couples go into different rooms. At the moment, I would like to be in a different house to him!!!


If i stay up late, it doents bother him. He can go to sleep, and not worry if I get a decent nights sleep or not. But i cant. I cannot sleep if I am thinking of him NOT getting a decent nights sleep (by being in a proper bed)

so now i am thinking, great, he doesnt care about me as much as i care about him.

and he does things like leave the back door unlock)ed, or not let the dog out (so she cant do her last wee, poor thing) or not put things away, and then swears at the dog the next day because she has chewed up the things that he left lying around!!

grrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!

[phillipa.d]

trt, I came down tonight, and he was in the chair, with the tv on, but the sound was turned down. If he was watching a programme, why would he not want to listen to it too? And as I walked in the room, his hand was still on the remote.

I think our squeeky stairs give it away that I am on my way down, and it gives him just enough time to change channels.

[pinktwink]

hide the remote when you go to bed wake him up doing hoovering after he has fallen asleep on the chair

[Ice.Maiden]

Hun - I think I'd drag him off to bed and make his night more exciting than wanting to stay up watching porn! Wait until a decent hour, tell him to lock up and whatever, and say that you both need to get some decent sleep - then wink!

[phillipa.d]

lol pink! Id love to wake him hoovering, but would wake kids! and I cant hide remote, cos he says, oh im just gonna watch the end of this and ill be up. Every bl00dy time!!! I falll for it!!! Every bloody time!!!!

I need to learn how to sleep, even if he is downstairs. Let him spend the entire night in the chair. boo hoo if he wakes up uncomfortable and freezing!!

[pinktwink]

good idea phillipa leave him on the chair have a few vinos before bed and relax

[phillipa.d]

Ice, thats a great idea, and i have thought of it, and tried it. but this is about three times a week! I couldnt keep it up that often!!

Tomorrow, I will be pi$$ed off and shattered. and then we will have comments about pmt an sh!t if i say anything narky. Why cant he see its his fault? All he has to do is come to bed?

Does anyone else have this prob? I cant believe this is the second bloke to do this to me!!!!!

[phillipa.d]

If i stay up late, I am considerate, and go to bed very very quitely, so as not to disturb him. But he stays downstairs even knowing I cannot relax and sleep while he is down there.

why cant he be considerate towards me, as i am towards him??????

[pinktwink]

why worry so much about him if he falls asleep on chair leave him worry about yourself moe

[Ice.Maiden]

I almosat think you're lucky!!! I only have to mention bed, and the OH's eyes are out on stalks!! LOL.
No, but it can't be nice for you, and weariness makes anyone irritable. Wait until you can talk to him without it turning into a full-scale row, and explain that if you keep being as tired as you are, things just won't get done.
As for him watching porn - does it bother you? There may be other issues at stake, and you're both making excuses. Get him to communicate with you properly - and if he won't - then DON'T do stuff. Leave his ironing or whatever, and see if it shakes him into realising that he's at fault.

[phillipa.d]

I just cant!!! I go off to sleep, usually for 1 - 2 hours, then wake. And if he's not there I just cannot go back off!!

I was with ex for 15 years, and he used to do it. Been married to this one for 2 years and he's been doing since we got married. Never did it before. Yet he knows it upsets me, and knows ex did it, so you'd think he wouldnt do it, but he does!!! It is sooooooo infuriating!!!!!!!!

[trt]

You say this is the second bloke to do this to you phillipa?

Hmm, are you sure you are doing things right? ; - )

And who pays for the porn channels, or are they dvds?

[phillipa.d]

Ice!! LOL!! leave his ironing??? he seriously would not notice if i stopped doing things. He is the untidy one of the pairing, and just doesnt register if there is a mess.

Yes I get very stressed and snappy if I am tired. And then we have snide comments, and then i snap even more. And then he is tired because he hasnt had proper sleep, and swears and the dog or kids, and i cant stand him swearing, and tell him off for that, and it goes on and on!!!

I DONT CARE if he wants to watch porn. watch it, fine. just dont let the kids see it, and let me have a full nights sleep!!!!!

[phillipa.d]

progs like s3xcetera on sky, and they show emmanuel films, badly dubbed porn and stuff like that...

yes, 2nd bloke! first one nearly drove me to a funny farm with things like this!!

I need to learn how to go back to sleep even if he is not there.

ex used to work nights, and i could sleep fine without him then, but if they are downstairs in a chair I just toss and turn thinking about them not getting a proper nights sleep!! and what time is he gonna come up, and will he be narky in the morning because he slept in a chair, and so on and so on...

[Ice.Maiden]

Phillipa - in all seriousness, I agree with pink. If he won't listen to you, then leave him to sleep where he is. Eventually, you'd get so tired that you WOULD drop to sleep yourself, and you'd get used to doing that.
I truly think that there's some reason for his hesitance in going to bed at the same time as you. When you find out what it is, then you can tackle the problem together, but you must ask him - without it becoming an argument. You're probably getting inwardly angry because you feel rejected, so tell him that things can't go on this way.

[phillipa.d]

Has this really never happened to anyone else???????