I have loads of this and now i am retired - i feel i can no longer cope or for that matter i so dont want to cope with people coming to my house for a week or weekends - i especially cannot be bothered with men - dont mind one woman as I then can do my own thing but with men there ie woman's husband, or woman's father, i have to dress appropriately ie cannot wear my nightdress and pyjamas, make small talk when i dont know these men. am thinking of chucking my backroom bed out - i am female by the way - no matter how many times I say no - you cant come to me - they ignore me and put me in a situation and imposition
Homer who are these people who won't take no for an answer - friends, relatives? I can't imagine any of our friends ignoring us if we said we couldn't put them up.
I feel the same as you now. As I get older I am becoming less tolerant to people invading my domestic space.
Just tell them your spare room is out of action or that your GP has said you need a rest.
do all that yogasun but the lady in question is a very good friend of mine but that is all I can put up with - as you say i dont want or cannot be bothered with invasion of my domestic space as i have been living on my own for 20 years now and like my own company thank you very much
I do sympathise homer, it's easy to give advice here but sometimes hard to put the ideas into practice. I'm just surprised that as she is such a good friend she is not immediately aware of the stress you feel when her husband/father turn up as well. Have you tried explaining to her how you feel? If so why does she keep putting you under such pressure?
Tell her that you don't mind her stopping on her own but you can't cope when 2 people stop. Change the double bed for a single. Make excuses - say you are turning the spare bedroom into a storage room. It's your home - don't feel bad about who you allow to stay.
Aah homer, i totally sympathise with you. I'm the same as yoga- i love my own space, and even though i love my husband dearly we allow each other plenty of alone time. As i've got older i've tried to cut back on doing things i feel i "ought" to do. A good tip is to just say "no, i'm sorry, that's not convenient, or i'd rather not". If they push you for a reason, then they are not true friends.
Easier said than done, i know! :-) xxx