Depression

[raysparx1]

Has anybody on here had really bad depression, I don't mean a bit fed up or p!ssed off, but proper depression, The reason I ask is, that nearly 3 years ago a good friend of mine commited suicide and it was revealed that he had had depression for 3 years, I never knew, I feel a bit guilty still because I feel i should have noticed, are there any tell tale signs? any advice please because I would hate for this to happen again and I never knew. thanks,Ray

[cuddleMe]

chocolate chip

i do feel trap, i cant seem to do anything without considering my condtion. i cant go swimming cos im afraid of what ppl may say or they will just star at you like you r some alien. i cant wear really nice dresses or short sleeve clothes because no matter how beautiful the dress is you will feel ugly wearing it cos you look different, its not the dress that stands out or ppl will look at, its the bit wear something that doesnt look right, there r clothes i cant wear cos it will make me feel stupid, i cant do physical stuff coz i get pains cos of the non-cancerious tumors which cannot b removed due to the fact they r grown on the nervous system if remove then i would prob not b able to move again. i hate the look of me, im always covering up, i just cant accept the way i look, i cant take it any more.

[cuddleMe]

ray i really dont know who to turn to, theres no one will understand what im thinking :(
i dont want to b given some pills to make me feel better! all i want is to b normal, nothing seems to b going right for me, i cant find a guy, a job i enjoy, or anyone to talk to, i just cant talk to anyone about my problems, i just want to hide it, when i see my mates i dont want to talk about it, we meet up to go out and have fun not to talk about problems.

[raysparx1]

CuddleMe, please register on the beta site and add me as a friend, I can then give you my e-mail address and if you want to chat well we can chat as much as you want, I am sure others on here will add you as well, please try to be slightly more positive and get a good nights rest, take care and please sign up on the sports side then add raysparx1, i promise I will respond, Ray xx

[helliebobs]

ray sweetie I can't say much more than anyone else here as has already, I empathise particularly with China on this one, so much of what she said rings true in my head as well, so sending you a big hug and a kiss xxx

[cuddleMe]

ray ive done it i think ive addded u

[raysparx1]

Great thing CuddleMe, will chat to you tomorrow hopefully, sleep well, xx

[taliesin238]

I dont think anybody around you really notices, but thats hard for me to say cos when i had really bad depression i was numb and totally unaware of my everyday surroundings. I had locked myself away in my little flat anyway!!

[smudge]

Back again - I've had tears in my eyes reading your last post cuddleMe & as I said in one of my earlier posts, we are all here for you & anyone else who can't talk to friends or loved ones.

Please don't think bad of me for asking whether you've changed doctors - it was a genuine question.

As Ray says, I'm sure others will be only too pleased to chat to you on Beta.

Take care & sleep well. -xx-

[taliesin238]

EYEBROWS!! Suicide is the lazy way out is it?? I dont think so. YOu got to have totally had enough of this world to succeed in commiting suicide. I think hanging yourself or throwing yourself off a cliff is NOT an easy option by any means!!! Not really pleasant is it!! Its serious stuff!! Obviously your very ignorant of mental health issues

[raysparx1]

Hello lovely hellie, bless you xx

taliesin, keep smiling and hang in there, and look after yourself, cheers again sweet smudge xx

Goodnight all sleep well all xx

[cuddleMe]

thanks smudge, i hope u understan me now, i dint want to mention the main reason why im depressed on here but i had to say it cos ppl though i was makin it up. anyway its all cool, u can add me on beta if u like. nite nite. xx

taliesin i ignored that person message i was quite offended wen he/she said suicide is a lazy way out etc. he/she dont know the meanin of depresion, he/she prob have a happy life and never have that experience of what we are experiencing. these r the kind of ppl who will never be there for their mates if they r down, cos they will moan, and not talk to them or just walk away from it.

[daffy654]

http://randomreality.blogware.com/blog

I thought some of you might be interested in reading the post dated 25th Feb on this blog,just below the post are some links,click on the one that says comments and read the replies.

[smudge]

I remember reading that Joseph Merrick suffered with Neurofibromatosis & it's an awful complaint.

I feel for anyone who has it.

[Petal~flower]

hello ray. Dont feel guilty, when you are depressed, you turn into yourself, family and friends often do not realise you are suffering. xx

[andy-hughes]

Hi Ray

As you can see from the number and length of responses you have had, a number of the regulars on here have direct experience of depression, which they have shared.

I had a complete breakdown eighteen years ago. i was in a psychiatric ward for three months, and off work for nearly a year, and i will be on medication for life, so I can add to the thread from experience.

People who say that suicide is an 'easy / cowardly' way out thankfully do not understand the situation.

In the depths of depression, it's not even a case of getting to tomorrow, it's getting past the next sixty seconds of mind-bendking emotional agony that makes death look like a seriouslay ttractive alternative. The reason why some people kill themselves so violently is because they take their last chance to hit back at the pain - and end it.

Sadly, any external empathy - friends, family, and thoughts of their loss and grief are beyond someone at this level. Their world has shrunk into the bottomless despair from which their is no release - talking and getting help are options long gone, well past considering. that is really how it is.

You should not reproach yourself for not seeing any sings. Depressions is very good at hiding. Part of the condition is hating yourself, and having a good go at making others hate you too. This usually consists of stiching a very convincing mask of 'normality' in place, and slowly going mad behind it. You didn;t see your friend;s agony because he hid it from you, and that is not your, or his fault.

Be there for your friends and loved ones - even you Eyebrows, life is never as simple as it seems.

[China Doll]

As you can see Sparky, it's probably a lot more common than you thought!

Depression is on the increase and as you can see from the responses on here there are different levels too. Awareness of its existence and how serious it can be is a good start and you're now off to a cracking one. I hope you're glad you asked and that it has put your mind at ease a little.

Hellie... If you're truly empathising with anything I felt then I hope you have a good support network and people you're talking to. Not talking made it so much worse for me. Best wishes to you.

[figure]

One never knows what frame of mind another is in. Sometimes folks come on here to get away from it all, and then they become victims of bullying and antagonism. I wish everyone, especially the regulars could read this thread. Those who pick arguments and bully others might learn something.

My heart goes out to you Ray, Cuddleme, Hellie, China and the rest of you on here. Love, peace and best wishes to ALL of you. xxx

[cuddleMe]

smudge

i would like to point out joseph merrick- also known as the elephant man did not suffer from neurofibromatosis, it was wrongly diagnosised by random doctors who did no know what neurofirbormatosis (nf) acutally is. joseph did not have the same symptoms with ppl with nf. however the docs seem to get confuses how disfigurment are formed, in nf its caused by the excessive growth of tumors grown on nervous systems whereas joseph with the most rarest condtion (Proteus syndrome) is caused by the bones an skin overgrowth, thats wher the confusion lies. as for me with a nf sufferer im quite lucky because i can hide it, whereas others might not b as lucky. my condtion is modeerate to serveare, some r so mild that they dnt know they even have it. gillian anderson (scully of x files) has a brother with NF which i heard is quite serveare--grr i cant spell it. heres some sites to read about.
http://www.nfauk.org/
http://www.gilliananderson.ws/charities/nf.sht ml

http://rarediseases.about.com/cs/proteussyndro me/a/031301.htm

hope these helps to give u a clear picture what nf is.

[raysparx1]

Thank you daffy, petal,figure and andy for responding also, I do feel I have a little more understanding now, and you are so right China it really is a lot more common than anybody realises, andy you have described that hell really well as usual your words come across in a very clear way, thanks for that insight, so glad you are now under control, it must be so scary to be living in a sort of "cocoon" when if you could only talk help should be there, wether it would be is another question, thankfully I have never been down, so for me it is" there but for the grace of god"

I really have had my eyes opened,and also noticed that all of you that have had it are all really nice people who never say a nasty word on here, could that also be a common factor that only nice people suffer this demon on the shoulder?

Thanks again, I expected abuse when I posted this and I got apart from one, amazing answers, hope you all live happy and that "Thing" never ever gets a hold on you all agin, take care, Ray

Sorry about my Grammar, I am useless at full stops etc, should have gone to school more.

[smudge]

As I say cuddleMe, some years back, I read that one initial diagnosis was Neurofibromatosis & wasn't far wrong remembering that. It was then later diagnosed as Proteus syndrome.

Joseph Merrick was originally thought to be suffering from elephantiasis. In 1971, Ashley Montagu suggested in his book The Elephant Man: A Study in Human Dignity that Merrick suffered from neurofibromatosis type I, a genetic disorder also known as von Recklinghausen's disease. This disease is still strongly associated with Merrick in the mind of the public; however, it was postulated in 1986 that Merrick actually suffered from Proteus syndrome (a condition which had been identified by Michael Cohen seven years earlier).

Hope you're feeling better today.....