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OldGrape: Some Important News
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Some important news about OldGrape: Your words of comfort and support are greatly appreciated.
Fr Bill
Fr Bill
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Good evening Family
I wanted to provide you with an update. Mrs Grape and I spoke in detail, several times yesterday and she has granted me permission to share with you what progress has been made.
Over the weekend, I gave Mrs Grape a brief caveat as to what she might expect with the solicitors when she first calls. Some might see this as a condemnation of solicitors; I see it as a reflection of the incredible case-loads many of them work with every day, trying to juggle appointments, prioritising needs, and ensuring each individual�s interests are served adequately.
Mrs Grape dutifully phoned the solicitors early Monday morning. She was required to leave a message on their voice mail. By 1000am, she had not heard from anyone, so she phoned again. A receptionist told her the message would be passed on and someone would contact her � possibly later in the week.
Anticipating this type of reception, I had actually scripted an initial presentation for her in the hopes the receptionist would clearly appreciate the urgency of the situation. Sadly not. When I spoke with Mrs Grape just before 5, no one had called her.
In my conversations with Mrs Grape, it is clear that she�s a lovely, determined and strong individual. It angers me that those who truly need immediate help sometimes become stuck within the cracks of our sluggish and often unyielding systems. It serves as a reminder to me that even those who have strong communication skills and determination, can face barriers and obstacles in finding help when they need it most.
Continued:
I wanted to provide you with an update. Mrs Grape and I spoke in detail, several times yesterday and she has granted me permission to share with you what progress has been made.
Over the weekend, I gave Mrs Grape a brief caveat as to what she might expect with the solicitors when she first calls. Some might see this as a condemnation of solicitors; I see it as a reflection of the incredible case-loads many of them work with every day, trying to juggle appointments, prioritising needs, and ensuring each individual�s interests are served adequately.
Mrs Grape dutifully phoned the solicitors early Monday morning. She was required to leave a message on their voice mail. By 1000am, she had not heard from anyone, so she phoned again. A receptionist told her the message would be passed on and someone would contact her � possibly later in the week.
Anticipating this type of reception, I had actually scripted an initial presentation for her in the hopes the receptionist would clearly appreciate the urgency of the situation. Sadly not. When I spoke with Mrs Grape just before 5, no one had called her.
In my conversations with Mrs Grape, it is clear that she�s a lovely, determined and strong individual. It angers me that those who truly need immediate help sometimes become stuck within the cracks of our sluggish and often unyielding systems. It serves as a reminder to me that even those who have strong communication skills and determination, can face barriers and obstacles in finding help when they need it most.
Continued:
Part 2
However, it�s sorted. I made some calls, did what I probably ought to have done over the weekend and Mrs Grape has an appointment this afternoon with a lovely Family Solicitor who has promised to do several important things: She will represent Mrs Grape in making an Ex Parte application for an Order to prevent Mr Grape from attempting to remove assets from the Marital home. She will set the wheels in action towards ensuring Mr Grape provides a level of support for his existing child, and she will apply for a Residency Order for the little grape, so that he safely remains within the loving environs of the vineyard with Mrs Grape. And�she has offered to review and advise regarding any emergency assistance that may be appropriate to assist Mrs Grape, especially whilst she�s in hospital and recuperating.
When I first posted this thread, I must confess that it was with a modicum of trepidation. I was concerned that one of the more aggressive, less caring posters who occasionally plague the site, would place disparaging and even cruel comments in the thread, to the extent that it could have a profound impact upon Mrs Grape. After all, some may say, there are no people here�just words from a cyber world.
Continued
However, it�s sorted. I made some calls, did what I probably ought to have done over the weekend and Mrs Grape has an appointment this afternoon with a lovely Family Solicitor who has promised to do several important things: She will represent Mrs Grape in making an Ex Parte application for an Order to prevent Mr Grape from attempting to remove assets from the Marital home. She will set the wheels in action towards ensuring Mr Grape provides a level of support for his existing child, and she will apply for a Residency Order for the little grape, so that he safely remains within the loving environs of the vineyard with Mrs Grape. And�she has offered to review and advise regarding any emergency assistance that may be appropriate to assist Mrs Grape, especially whilst she�s in hospital and recuperating.
When I first posted this thread, I must confess that it was with a modicum of trepidation. I was concerned that one of the more aggressive, less caring posters who occasionally plague the site, would place disparaging and even cruel comments in the thread, to the extent that it could have a profound impact upon Mrs Grape. After all, some may say, there are no people here�just words from a cyber world.
Continued
Part 3
Cynicism touches us all in a world where there are too many problems to solve, problems of such immensity that it is easier to close our eyes and dream of other things than to struggle and contribute and rally others to open their eyes.
How we react to these things is a measure of how overcome we are by the epidemic of cynicism. When we turn towards the world and see its plight, or when the news of another natural disaster insinuates itself into our hearing, does it give us yet another opportunity to be disappointed? Possibly so. But when it touches an individual with whom we�ve interacted, regardless of that form of interaction, it gives us a window to look through into real lives and real suffering.
Your messages of kindness, support, and genuine care are more powerful than you can imagine. Each of you has reason to smile today: You have touched a stranger�s life.
There is no greater gift. You are the Good Samaritan.
Fr Bill
Cynicism touches us all in a world where there are too many problems to solve, problems of such immensity that it is easier to close our eyes and dream of other things than to struggle and contribute and rally others to open their eyes.
How we react to these things is a measure of how overcome we are by the epidemic of cynicism. When we turn towards the world and see its plight, or when the news of another natural disaster insinuates itself into our hearing, does it give us yet another opportunity to be disappointed? Possibly so. But when it touches an individual with whom we�ve interacted, regardless of that form of interaction, it gives us a window to look through into real lives and real suffering.
Your messages of kindness, support, and genuine care are more powerful than you can imagine. Each of you has reason to smile today: You have touched a stranger�s life.
There is no greater gift. You are the Good Samaritan.
Fr Bill
Thankyou for your post update Fr Bill sweetheart . It is good to know that wheels are in motion to put a safety net around the grape vineyard . Thank goodness you are there for her and can give her emotional and physical help at this time . Please relay my best huggy thoughts to oldgrape next time you are in contact . :-) xxx
bugs and quiches
bugs and quiches
thank you for the update Vicar.
Just to add to those who have already enquired if there is any financial way that we may be able to assist Oldgrape in the coming months then Id be happy to donate a sum as well. Christmas will be a difficult time for her and babygrape and itd be nice to be able to help them in some small way.
xx
Just to add to those who have already enquired if there is any financial way that we may be able to assist Oldgrape in the coming months then Id be happy to donate a sum as well. Christmas will be a difficult time for her and babygrape and itd be nice to be able to help them in some small way.
xx
OldGrape
I didn't see this thread for a little while, so I am sorry that I have not posted.
I am so sorry to hear your news. There is nothing that I can say that will go anyway towards making you feel any better so I will not try.
I am thinking of you quite a lot at the moment - you are obviously an incredibly strong woman and the story of what you have been through recently has kicked my own little worries into touch.
Take care, lots of love. xx
I didn't see this thread for a little while, so I am sorry that I have not posted.
I am so sorry to hear your news. There is nothing that I can say that will go anyway towards making you feel any better so I will not try.
I am thinking of you quite a lot at the moment - you are obviously an incredibly strong woman and the story of what you have been through recently has kicked my own little worries into touch.
Take care, lots of love. xx
Good morning Again! This is also a follow-up for BBWCHAT who is not a resident of �Isle de la Pom.�
Again, I�m so deeply touched by the words of encouragement you�ve offered to Mrs Grape & Co. I have shared with her some of the comments. She was clearly overwhelmed.
Many of you have asked about providing Mrs Grape with some assistance. I believe this is a lovely gesture. However, I�ve suggested that we all wait just a wee bit before we do so. I�ve asked Mrs Grape whether she has a Paypal account: she does. However, at present, there is a two-fold issue. I'm concerned about the possibility of our good intentions potentially hindering her access to immediate and emergency needs for assistance through some of our government programmes. This includes Legal Aid, Income Support and any potential Social Fund applications.
In light of all the changes that have taken place in our benefit systems, to reduce and identify benefit cheats, the �system� requires not only sworn statements as to what assets (such as cash) are on hand, but details of bank accounts are also taken into account. BY no means am I an expert in any of these areas. But I did not want our combined good intentions to possibly cloud her assessment. It would distress me to learn that anyone might say to Mrs Grape that because she has some cash available, that she would either not be entitled, or not be considered an emergency.
Continued
Again, I�m so deeply touched by the words of encouragement you�ve offered to Mrs Grape & Co. I have shared with her some of the comments. She was clearly overwhelmed.
Many of you have asked about providing Mrs Grape with some assistance. I believe this is a lovely gesture. However, I�ve suggested that we all wait just a wee bit before we do so. I�ve asked Mrs Grape whether she has a Paypal account: she does. However, at present, there is a two-fold issue. I'm concerned about the possibility of our good intentions potentially hindering her access to immediate and emergency needs for assistance through some of our government programmes. This includes Legal Aid, Income Support and any potential Social Fund applications.
In light of all the changes that have taken place in our benefit systems, to reduce and identify benefit cheats, the �system� requires not only sworn statements as to what assets (such as cash) are on hand, but details of bank accounts are also taken into account. BY no means am I an expert in any of these areas. But I did not want our combined good intentions to possibly cloud her assessment. It would distress me to learn that anyone might say to Mrs Grape that because she has some cash available, that she would either not be entitled, or not be considered an emergency.
Continued
Part 2
Or possibly, worse, ( and I have no reason to believe this at all), that a solicitor�s group might suggest that she needs to pay any type of retainers or deposits. I have heard of this in the past, but I know it not to be a common practise. And personally, I have no belief that the solicitors I�ve arranged for her would ever do such a thing. Most importantly, I do not want Mrs Grape to be placed in a position where she might, in a sense of pride, feel that with some cash in her pocket, that she should defer entering our social welfare system. Human nature and self-pride do interesting things to the human psyche.
I also, as I would with anyone here, wish to protect her anonymity as best possible. Each time I�ve spoken with her I have sought her permission to share with you. And I know that the kind woman, who is also an AB member, who has spoken with her, has done the same thing. I�m touched that she has gone to such strides to protect Mrs Grape�s dignity and anonymity.
It is clear to me that both Mrs Grape and Master Grape could well do with some demonstrative notes of support and care. I�m not particularly fond of the idea that our friends at PayPal will benefit from Mrs Grapes suffering. Speaking openly, I have been considering asking a local Parish to provide some assistance and possibly using them as a reception point. However, I am respectful that some of you may take offence to this and possibly could think of it as a cunning attempt to proselytise.
All I could say to this is that you would be wrong. Nevertheless, out of respect to all, I felt I should mention this.
Continued:
Or possibly, worse, ( and I have no reason to believe this at all), that a solicitor�s group might suggest that she needs to pay any type of retainers or deposits. I have heard of this in the past, but I know it not to be a common practise. And personally, I have no belief that the solicitors I�ve arranged for her would ever do such a thing. Most importantly, I do not want Mrs Grape to be placed in a position where she might, in a sense of pride, feel that with some cash in her pocket, that she should defer entering our social welfare system. Human nature and self-pride do interesting things to the human psyche.
I also, as I would with anyone here, wish to protect her anonymity as best possible. Each time I�ve spoken with her I have sought her permission to share with you. And I know that the kind woman, who is also an AB member, who has spoken with her, has done the same thing. I�m touched that she has gone to such strides to protect Mrs Grape�s dignity and anonymity.
It is clear to me that both Mrs Grape and Master Grape could well do with some demonstrative notes of support and care. I�m not particularly fond of the idea that our friends at PayPal will benefit from Mrs Grapes suffering. Speaking openly, I have been considering asking a local Parish to provide some assistance and possibly using them as a reception point. However, I am respectful that some of you may take offence to this and possibly could think of it as a cunning attempt to proselytise.
All I could say to this is that you would be wrong. Nevertheless, out of respect to all, I felt I should mention this.
Continued:
Part 3
As this is a first experience for me, dealing with a challenge that has originated from �cyber-world� I�m attempting to take reflective steps in the ways I show respect to all concerned.
I would be grateful for your views. I have a funeral to celebrate in a little bit and must leave to prepare. But will read your posts when I return.
Thank you again for all your demonstrative care and compassion for Mrs Grape and her circumstances.
Fr Bill
As this is a first experience for me, dealing with a challenge that has originated from �cyber-world� I�m attempting to take reflective steps in the ways I show respect to all concerned.
I would be grateful for your views. I have a funeral to celebrate in a little bit and must leave to prepare. But will read your posts when I return.
Thank you again for all your demonstrative care and compassion for Mrs Grape and her circumstances.
Fr Bill
old bill.
im still of the mind that some sort of cash gift would be good.
when i first mentioned it many said theyd send a tenner.
perhaps a po.box could be set up?
just for a month .
in cleethorpes and anyone could pst a cash donation.
which would be a gift .
and therefore wouldnt effect social / legal.
if this is possible .or even a local parish where we could post to f.a.o. old grape.
just a thought bill.
pass on my regards to grapey tell her shes missed and illl catch up with her when shes in a better place : - )
im still of the mind that some sort of cash gift would be good.
when i first mentioned it many said theyd send a tenner.
perhaps a po.box could be set up?
just for a month .
in cleethorpes and anyone could pst a cash donation.
which would be a gift .
and therefore wouldnt effect social / legal.
if this is possible .or even a local parish where we could post to f.a.o. old grape.
just a thought bill.
pass on my regards to grapey tell her shes missed and illl catch up with her when shes in a better place : - )
Dear Fr Bill,
Thank you for keeping us all posted on oldgrape's progress. You being there to guide her will most certainly have helped to remove some of the despair she must have been feeling. Just to know that she doesn't have to deal with this all alone will be of immense comfort to her I'm sure.
I am so pleased to hear that she's been taking positive steps to protect the 'vineyard' and may she soon feel that she can begin to move forward with her life.
I too would be only too pleased to contribute to a fund for oldgrape and baby grape. I take your point about not jeopardising any longer term financial support or legal aid but perhaps at some point we might be able to make some arrangement to offer a contribution in the form of a Christmas gift ? I'm not sure myself how this can be actioned at this stage, but please add my name to the growing list of people who would love to make that gesture.
Please give oldgrape my love. We are all thinking of her.
xAprilisx
Thank you for keeping us all posted on oldgrape's progress. You being there to guide her will most certainly have helped to remove some of the despair she must have been feeling. Just to know that she doesn't have to deal with this all alone will be of immense comfort to her I'm sure.
I am so pleased to hear that she's been taking positive steps to protect the 'vineyard' and may she soon feel that she can begin to move forward with her life.
I too would be only too pleased to contribute to a fund for oldgrape and baby grape. I take your point about not jeopardising any longer term financial support or legal aid but perhaps at some point we might be able to make some arrangement to offer a contribution in the form of a Christmas gift ? I'm not sure myself how this can be actioned at this stage, but please add my name to the growing list of people who would love to make that gesture.
Please give oldgrape my love. We are all thinking of her.
xAprilisx
all we need is a po box or address to send a xmas card to her .
and if anyone wants to put anything in the card
well whos gonna know?
its not about the amount
its about the thought.
so old bill could you ask grapey if theres an address that we could post a xmas card to her ?
or if its possible to get a po box for a month ?
just so we can send her a card ?
and if anyone wants to put anything in the card
well whos gonna know?
its not about the amount
its about the thought.
so old bill could you ask grapey if theres an address that we could post a xmas card to her ?
or if its possible to get a po box for a month ?
just so we can send her a card ?
I�d like to provide you with an update regarding Grape & Co.
I realise there is a number of you who are in the field of counselling or social care. I think you will clearly understand when I say that there are times when we find that our efforts and actions to help, don�t always come to fruition. It can often leave us feeling helpless and frustrated. However, it never stops us from caring, nor does it rob us of hope.
I previously shared with you the challenges we faced in obtaining a solicitor. I received a concerned call from the solicitor yesterday, saying that Mrs Grape had not arrived for her appointment. Obviously, I was very concerned. I apologised, explaining that perhaps there had been a problem with her medical condition. I promised to phone back immediately.
I phoned Mrs Grape. She told me that she had left a message with reception that she was cancelling the appointment. Mrs Grape told me that Mr Grape had contacted her, promising to pay the rent in perpetuity and paying for the maintenance of their child.
Experience in social care and the �human condition,� didn�t leave me the need to reflect on what Mrs Grape told me. I know my voice went up an octave as I quickly explained to her that this was merely a tactic being used by Mr Grape to get what he wanted and once he had what he wanted, things would immediately be back to where they were before. I also reminded her that there would be no court protection should he simply decide not to return with their son, should he collect him for a �visit.�
Continued
I realise there is a number of you who are in the field of counselling or social care. I think you will clearly understand when I say that there are times when we find that our efforts and actions to help, don�t always come to fruition. It can often leave us feeling helpless and frustrated. However, it never stops us from caring, nor does it rob us of hope.
I previously shared with you the challenges we faced in obtaining a solicitor. I received a concerned call from the solicitor yesterday, saying that Mrs Grape had not arrived for her appointment. Obviously, I was very concerned. I apologised, explaining that perhaps there had been a problem with her medical condition. I promised to phone back immediately.
I phoned Mrs Grape. She told me that she had left a message with reception that she was cancelling the appointment. Mrs Grape told me that Mr Grape had contacted her, promising to pay the rent in perpetuity and paying for the maintenance of their child.
Experience in social care and the �human condition,� didn�t leave me the need to reflect on what Mrs Grape told me. I know my voice went up an octave as I quickly explained to her that this was merely a tactic being used by Mr Grape to get what he wanted and once he had what he wanted, things would immediately be back to where they were before. I also reminded her that there would be no court protection should he simply decide not to return with their son, should he collect him for a �visit.�
Continued
Part 2
I felt so helpless and I felt the turmoil Mrs Grape was experiencing. I know she does not want conflict or confrontation. But the grim reality is that she needs professional help and she needs it now. I also felt badly for the solicitor who so compassionately moved her schedule around to meet with Mrs Grape. Mrs Grape says she left a message with reception of the cancellation. I�m sorry that it failed to reach the solicitor.
However, Mrs Grape understands my reasoning and she has since spoken with the solicitor and is now scheduled to meet with her tomorrow afternoon. Again, the solicitor has moved her appointments around to facilitate this meeting. This time, rather than obtaining an injunction, she is going to draft a binding agreement regarding maintenance and visitation.
Whilst I don�t have the greatest confidence that this will resolve the all issues at hand, at least it will provide a small amount of comfort for Mrs Grape. I�m not certain how this alternative will be viewed should she seek support from our social system: I simply do not have enough experience in these matters.
Right now, whilst Mrs Grape is in hospital, I ask that you please keep her in your thoughts. In the meantime I am making steps towards addressing the suggestions made by Legend and others, as well as searching for some other possible remedies.
I wish you all well
Fr Bill
I felt so helpless and I felt the turmoil Mrs Grape was experiencing. I know she does not want conflict or confrontation. But the grim reality is that she needs professional help and she needs it now. I also felt badly for the solicitor who so compassionately moved her schedule around to meet with Mrs Grape. Mrs Grape says she left a message with reception of the cancellation. I�m sorry that it failed to reach the solicitor.
However, Mrs Grape understands my reasoning and she has since spoken with the solicitor and is now scheduled to meet with her tomorrow afternoon. Again, the solicitor has moved her appointments around to facilitate this meeting. This time, rather than obtaining an injunction, she is going to draft a binding agreement regarding maintenance and visitation.
Whilst I don�t have the greatest confidence that this will resolve the all issues at hand, at least it will provide a small amount of comfort for Mrs Grape. I�m not certain how this alternative will be viewed should she seek support from our social system: I simply do not have enough experience in these matters.
Right now, whilst Mrs Grape is in hospital, I ask that you please keep her in your thoughts. In the meantime I am making steps towards addressing the suggestions made by Legend and others, as well as searching for some other possible remedies.
I wish you all well
Fr Bill
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