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Private School

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toby99 | 12:05 Thu 25th Oct 2007 | Body & Soul
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Did anyone go to private school? If you did, I am interested in your views and experiences, especially if you did not come from a wealthy family. i.e. you were one of the 'poorer' kids!
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I was privately educated, i never went to a state school of any kind.

I think my mum sent me because she believed i would get a better education. At Primary school, there were only 10 of us in my class, so we definately got more attention from our teacher, but I'm dyslexic, and my dyslexia went unrecognised and untreated, in the end, i had to repeat a year because i was never offered any extra help.

when i was 10, my mum sent me to boarding school, which i hated, and never forgave her for. It was like an expensive prison for kids who hadn't done anything wrong. She sent me there to get specialist help for my dyslexia, as the school boasted about its reputation for hiring expert tutors to help with dyslexic pupils, but to be honest i still struggled, and my teachers often overlooked me, even in the subjects i was really good at, because of my shortcomings in other areas. As you might expect, there was a lot of rivalry and one-upmanship and "my daddy drives a Porche, well, my daddy drives a Bentley" etc etc In the end, i got less GCSE's than all my friends who went to the local comprehensive, who by this time i had largely drifted apart from due to being away for so long.

I lost my dad when i was a baby, and my mum never re-married, throughout my school life i was one of the only kids who didn't have a dad, which left me vulnerable to teasing, whereas i think if i'd gone to a state school it wouldn't have mattered. I hated my school so much i refused to stay on for A-levels and got into a dead-end office job.

I'm not saying my experiences are typical of the public school system, but i would never ever send a child of mine away. Personally, i think my mum wasted her time and money, and i think she came to realise that by the end. Most of my friends who went to state schools got a better education.
I went to a private school from the age of 11. Before that I went to a small village junior school!
I did enjoy my education and i do feel that i would have not done as well otherwise. My family aren't poor however my parents both work, where as there where some pupils with very wealthy families(Lord and Lady). I never boarded, however I did resent my parents for not sending to me to a 'normal' school. I got very good A levels and was accepted at Durham university however I feel that having my education almost 'forced' into me made me rebel and I refused to go to university and this resulted in me moving out of my parents house.
When i have children I will not send put them through private education, not only does it cause problems between parent/children relationships but you also miss out on a lot. When i left school I had never really lived in the real world-I had had a very sheltered life. I had never been exposed to working class families, drugs, crime etc and I felt isolated from the 'real world'.
it is a very interesting subject. I went to state schools while my long term boyfriend when to private, his father was an accountant and his mother a house wife but I wouldn't say they were rich, he was probably one of the poorest students there and never boarded.

As a result of my up bringing in a state school I am street wise and good at defending myself, fight for my rights, and put up with ****. The the boyfriend seems more of a mummys boy, more sheltered, doesn't like confrontation. He is 'posher' than me and talks with "R's" in every word, he corrects me on grammar and lack of "R's" all the time. I was bought up not only in a state school but one in Lancashire while he was brought up in Exeter, so we are likely to talk different.

The boyfriend wants our kids (when we have them) to go private but not me, I know it is going to cause a massive disagreement between us at some point, but I will not give up my side of the argument.
I went to public school on a Direct Grant after 11+ exam, therefore my parents (approx lower middle class) paid no fees. The school had a particularly elaborate variety of uniforms for different terms (including straw boaters yeuk), loads of different sports outfits, so that cost them a bit.

The school was academically excellent, a sweat shop infact. 10 O levels was considered the norm, most also doing a couple extra in the years prior to and after the main exam year. 3-4 A/S levels and Oxbridge was the expectation for the top streams and I was lucky enough to achieve this.

There was a huge range of facilities and sports, swimming pool, rifle range, full-sized athletic track, etc.

The life was very good, there was a tremendous school ethos and spirit, I enjoyed it, and owe a huge debt of gratitude to that school for giving me the start it did.

They've let a few girls in now........
I went to one so glad to have got out of there. I hated the way the school thought parents had money to buy a new PE kit every year and different uniforms only available in certain shops - tuh
I'm kind of glad I went somtimes because now I can be snobby to anyone who trys to argue with me, HA!
I was also sent to private school.
I don't why, as there was no record of academic achievement in my family.
There were a number of boarders, but I'm glad, that I wasn't one.
The whole place had a suffocating atmosphere, rugger and religious education, were the order of the day.
The whole system, seemed to be geared up to success and quite a few cracked, under the strain.
The whole ethos of that school, has probably put me off a work ethic for life, but thats another story.
I was publically (re:private) educated from 11-18 and if folks can afford it, there really is no other way.

Whilst the syllabus is much the same the "ethos" to do well and think for youself is just not followed in state schools. From day one you are, not so much pushed, but highly tuned to a decent career. Right or wrong, you know you will be doing 4 A levels and more than likely a university course. This simply isn't mentioned in comprehensives.

My mother was a headmistress of a state school and still sent me there, which perhaps says a lot about her informed opinions. My father, a Commander in the Navy, was never really there much for me as a child, so the decision to send me away and spend time with lots of males (and ALL male teachers) was a good move.

The downside of my school were Saturday morning lessons, when the neighboring girls school had Saturdays off and perhaps a lack of options re GCSE's. That is there was no Sociology, Psychology, Human Geograpy, Home Economics or other perceived "lighter" options.

Also rugby is preferred over football which is a good thing!! And the general sports/games ethos is second to none.

Overall, if you have the money, send you children there.
I went to the best school Approved!
we were not middle class or rich, not really poor but didnt have much money. my mum was a single mum with 3 kids and my older brother went to a private school. he got a free place, the government at the time (1986) gave a few free places to poorer families and my mum chose to send him there. i dont think it was a typical private school, it didnt have boarding and was in the middle of a town centre, my brother stayed friends with his who went to state school. i also think he mixed with the 'naughty' ones too! he did get into trouble at times but did stay there and did well, got 10 GCSEs and 3 A levels and went to university. he says he liked going there. Me and my younger brother went to state school. I dont think it would have made much difference to my older brother what school he went to, he was clever so i think he'd have done well anywhere.
my uncle (mums brother) also went to a private school, long time ago (45yrs) but they were very poor, their dad was in the army and there were five kids. my uncle was the oldest and because he was clever at school the army paid for him to go to boarding school. he hated it and still is angry and felt like his family abandoned him. he did do well and went to university and became a teacher but i still dont think he was happy with it.
I think it does depend on the child whether it would suit them or not and depends on the school of course, not all are the same. i also think most private schools are very cut off from the 'real' world and so some children will be angry about this. I think boarding schools are very wrong and dont know how anyone can send their children off, sometimes at a very young age.
If i could afford private school for my children i would not send them to one, i think education is about life and social skills as much as it is lessons and you only get that in state schools. plus there are much better things to spend the money on, like taking your children travelling around the world.
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Thanks all for all your answers- I wouldn't consider boarding school either!
We were all privately educated in our family, but I'm glad we weren't boarders. Watching some of the miserable faces as us lucky ones were collected and taken home, still forms vivid memories in my mind. A friend of mine also felt that she wasn't really wanted at home, and she never had a close relationship with her parents. I have to say though, the encouragement and support from tutors was second to none.They managed to think positively, and to get the best out of each child. We also left with a great deal of confidence - although maybe that depends on the sort of person you are anyway.
hi, i got a 1/3 off scholarship into a private school, and declined it. i feel generally they are a waste of time unless they show excellent results and i dont mean good equipment i mean excellent teaching, pupils, behaviour etc.
my brother went to private school and was definately one of the poorer kids. he was severely bullied and ended up going off the track and bunking off school and only just got through his gcses. he then moved to a comprehensive (with better results than at the private school) and is having the best experience. i'm just not sure private school is all too good unless it adds up and is worth it, for your childs sake
x
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Thanks Emstown -

Most private schools have excellent results and I am concerned at the lengths the schools go to and the pressure they put the kids under, not to mention the volume of homework, to ensure that they get these results!

Do children in private schools have a childhood?
um, i really dont think so, i mean my brother was one of the rebels, but simply because of the bullying from pupils and teachers, one teacher would actually throw chairs across the room etc. i dont know because it really depends on the school. im just talking about the two that i know about, one that my brother went to, and one that i nearly went to and i know many people who have been. but it really does depend on the school. but from what i know i would say no.
I would say when choosing a school state or private (if you are considering both) the things to look at are the teachers and how they are with the children. Also the head and his/her views on certain things and ways of running the school. And to look at whether the children look happy, the atmoshpere of the school, If you think it suits you and your child.
Its a bit different i know, but my boy has just started infant school. it was irrelevant to me if a school has good results or not. I went to look at every school nearby and then went back to the two i liked most. I chose the one which i felt suited him best, had the most amazing teachers and looked like the children were having a lot of fun.

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