Are all toddlers possessive?

[Shadow Man]

I have just had some friends visit with three and a four year boys. Within minutes my humble home was turned in to a Toy 'r' us jumble sale of which I have received three crayon streaks on my sofa. Luckily they were safe and washed off much to my relief.

My question.

As an only child and with no cousins and little contact with small children I was amazed at the possessive shown by both boys. There was no sense of giving or sharing whatsoever.

They fought over toys like cat and mouse screeching "MINE, MINE, MINE".

Even when I got out my James Bond cars (which was obvious even to a todller they were MINE, both kids refused to share and when one touched the others toy or car a fight almost broke out.

Both toddlers are from a stable home but why the possessiveness?

Is this natural?

[B00]

Short answer- yeah.

[annie0000]

Yes, but at 3 and 4 they should be coming out of that and need to be taught to share. At that age though, most boys will still like to play independently rather than together - girls tend to do this a bit earlier - boys also have an influx of testorerone about the age of 4 so their behaviour does becaome really aggresive and boistrous for a while.

[B00]

Mini Boo at nearly 3 has cottoned onto the "my turn now" method of playing when someone has a toy she wants. However when it's in her little mitts it suddenly becomes "Mine" again :-)

[sense4all]

Ever seen the bit of finding Nemo with the seagulls? ... always makes me think of the tribal gathering that is playgroup or nursery, lol! Survival of the fittest - in glorious technicolour I'm afraid.

[Hellyon]

Boys are little monsters at that age and you have to teAch them the guidelines or they become big monsters. We had a rule 'If no-one is playing with the toy then you can, if someone else is playing with the toy then you can't" simple!

However what I am most astounded about Wardy is you got your James Bond Cars out for them - WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!!!

[sense4all]

I reckon he's getting soft in his retirement Helly ... hee hhe.

[Shadow Man]

They are fairly robust James Bond cars and not really toys in the strictest sense.

I am equally astounded that the boys did not value the aesthetics of vintage Aston Martins and were merely concerned if the wheels were "Hot Flyers", if the pop out guns fired real bullets or if they transformed in to robots.

Thickos, if you ask me.

[unrulyjulie]

yes, my little man realises the need to share but unfortunately it only applies when he wants something someone else has! lol other than that's its mine mine mine all the way ! ;-)


Saying that, he's not too bad really, as soon as he's told, he reluctantly relinquishes whatever it is that needs sharing!

[pussnboots]

My son who is now 34 hated sharing with anyone. On his birthday parties he would collect all his presents and take them to his room he would stay there and play alone whilst all the other kids where left to me to amuse. He is now a most caring adult and would give you his last penny. My answer is to your question whilst I understand that if you have not got boy kids then do not despair, boys will be boys and they will get over it.

[Goodsoulette]

Is it natural?? I don't know about that, my brother and I were never like that. Sharing was instilled and my brother and sister who have 14 months between them have always shared, rarely fight and play well together. Ican remember this because they are only 6 and 7 now.

My two don't fight over toys either but I think thats more to do with the eldest being extremely laid back. He'll happily share and find something else and ignores what he youngest is playing with.