update!!!

[nannon]

So me and my boyf have a really long tralk last night- sorted everything out - make another go of things. Realised our love was strong enough to get through this.

Then i ask him if there is anything else......

He says he hasnt been truthful with me.......

He's lied about his age, He is 42!!!!!!!!! Not 35.

Having a laugh. Told him to do one. Not because of his age but because he has lied to my face for 10 months.

I know i have to end it, no question about it but bloody hell it still hurts.

[4getmenot]

I just think with the distance and whats happened lately he's looked for an excuse and I honestly think you dont suit eachother. Why did he lie, and you're quite young arent you?

[leewayne]

He was truthful with you in the end,but if hes lied so many times what else is he lying about?? Personally i dont see him lying about his age a huge problem,he hasnt meant to hurt you hes just not been honest,try and overcome it if you love him.People go through worse problems and still make it through.Good luck nannon

[nannon]

he's lied to my face about it - and i have asked him many times his age as i didnt believe him and he lied.

I thought everyone would be saying get away from him but my friends as well have said its not that bad - but i'm only 22!!!!

as leewayne said - what else has he lied about?? I know two other things he has lied about - not major things but he has looked me in the eye and lied.

he said the reason he dragged everything out about this weekend is because he knew it would be over when he told me.

[RATTER15]

you obviously cant trust this guy, better off without a liar!!!

[4getmenot]

I think if he really wanted you he wouldnt have made you wait. I think you know in your heart you're not right together, I couldnt be with someone who lied to me that much.

[leelapops]

Then he is a coward nannon. How dare he be so indignant and manipulative towards you for your mistake, when all the while he's been hiding stuff from you?
I am 21, and have been with a 45 year old man for 4 years, but that's not an issue because I knew his age and he knew mine, right from the start.

"Do one" lol, I can't help but find that funny, love. I'm glad in a way for you that things have been decided one way or the other, but you must be very sad, and I feel for you. Take your time, and don't let him pester you.

[leewayne]

sorry i dont know the full story,you know if someone is not right for you,i wouldnt feel comfortable with him lying all the time,if he respected you enough he would have told you the truth from the start,if you feel you can work this out,tell him no more lies,if he does,his arse is gone!! Thats my opinion.Love does hurt,but honesty is the best policy and if you dont have trust you dont have nothing. Chin up gal

[nannon]

Thanks.

i do love him.

But maybe not enought to wrok this out. Its all to much now, If he would have told me about his age from the start it wouldnt be an issue - have been woth people this age before.

But every bloke i have been with has lied to me - they have been married, one also lied about his age.

My friends and family cant believe it, They have met him and are just shocked. As well as that he barely looked 35 let alone 42!!

[johnlambert]

He lied because he wanted you, he probably thought that you wouldn't be intrested if you knew his real age. I am 17 years older than my wife, the age diffrence means nothing to us.
I'm not condoning him lying to you nannon, (I hate liars as other ABers can testify), but I can understand why he lied.
If you were both happy together before you knew his real age, and I dont suppose the age diffrence was an issue then was it? why shouold it now?

[leewayne]

I can understand why he lied too,i lied about my age to my partner,only by 3 years but thats because i wanted him,i told him my real age 3 days after we met.Were still together 4 years later and have 2 kids. But if hes constantly lying then thats totally different.Have you asked him why he lied?

[4getmenot]

they wernt both happy together before that lambert

[Octavius]

I think a little age lie at the beginning is harmless enough, but maybe after a couple of dates he should have been truthful before things got too serious. If he can hold that back for 10 months, imagine what you might find out after a couple of years or so!

[nannon]

this is the thing- had he of lied at first (he said it was because he liked me and didnt think i'd be interested if he told the truth) i wouldn't be to bothered but i think the moment we started to get serious he should have said, We talked about our future, kids etc...
I can understand how it is easy to get yourself into a situation like this but not for this long.

[leewayne]

Maybe he was scared that you'd run a million miles if you knew his real age?!

[johnlambert]

As I said, it made no diffrence then
If your love was strong enough to get through you slapping him, (another thing I don't condone), then it must strong enough to get through this!!!
in my humble opinion!

[4getmenot]

thats why I think they are both subconsciously looking for excuses

[leewayne]

Im with johnlambert on this one

[Octavius]

I�m not. He doesn�t act like a 35 year old,, let alone a 42 year old, and she has the propensity for domestic violence. How can such things co-exist in contentment?

[4getmenot]

but I dont understand why you would be so upset write him letters etc, then something like this comes up and you get rid and arent too worried about making it work if you say you love him.

[leewayne]

What was that about domestic violence,sorry i dont know whole story.