Jealousy

[4getmenot]

I've only been with my new bloke for 3 months now and I noticed the other day a magnet has gone missing off my fridge of me and my ex at alton towers. I never kept it there because he's my ex, never really thought about it, I have lots of photos around my flat of all my mates. Anyway I found it hidden on top of my kitchen cabinets, haven't told him I've found it. But how would you react?

[4getmenot]

The thing is if when I first found out it had gone I was so worried he�d chucked it as it is one of the few good days out I shared with him.

[bobtheduck-]

99.9 per cent of humans are devious 2 faced aresholes so dont worrry about it

[4getmenot]

rude ones oct??

[laurence2]

I cannot see what his problem is with the picture.

Jealousy, possessive, controlling maybe ?

Does he know much about your ex. i would ask him if he feels uncomfotable about this, its something adults should be able to discuss.

Hiding things tho will just create problems longterm ie, trust issues etc

[Kaylz1988]

I think you should just ask him why he didnt approach you about it instead of hiding it. I understand why he would feel jelous but he should of handled it in a different way. I had a pic of a guy mate on my wall and my ex asked me to take it down so I did. I wouldn't appreciate it if he did it. Just tell him you found the magnet and just tell him how you feel.xxxxxxx

[4getmenot]

Ok this could put it more into perspective and I guess I�ve answered my own question here. He went out with a girl for 3 years and she ran off with this bloke that I then went out with and he then got me. Kind of karma really.

[Psychick]

Well in that case Im suprised he didnt burn it! lol j/k
I understand it just simply a case of you havent got round to that kind of "tidying" yet, but I can definately see where he is coming from though. However, I would now be concerned as to why seeing a pis of your ex caused such a reaction. After all, if his ex hadn't have run off with your ex, he wouldn't be with you now would he? I think he should be shaking this blokes hand and thanking him for making it possible for him to be with you now.

[4getmenot]

thats very true, I'd never seen it like that. I know because of it all we found eachothere and it was never a case of getting back at the others, we just met and liked eachother and saved eachother I spose :-)

[Cockney_si]

Maybe it just fell down and he was in a hurry and he put it on top of the cupboard.

I think it maybe a bit of an over-reaction, I mean it's not as if you have pics of your ex's wallpapered around the house on every wall.

Get a new fridge magnet, go top a ride with him in the picture, throw up all over him as you come off the ride, cherish those new memories with the new guy ;o)

[4getmenot]

Didnt just fall down, infact when I noticed he was round and I shouted through wheres it gone and he never answered, you know the convenient deafness men get

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, reading all the comments now, it clearly looks as though you havent fully got over your ex yet.
If that was me in your position and a girl took a pic of my ex off the wall, it wouldnt bother me one bit. In fact i would have taken it off way before now anyway.
Its about respect...

[4getmenot]

yes so he should respect me enough to talk about it. I will always love my ex but this wasnt up because I cant get over him because I can. It was just the fact that he coulnt just talk to me about it. Cant see what you've read to see I'm not over my ex because believe me I'm over him in that sense and didnt see the need of making a big deal out of taking every lasting memory away

[Psychick]

I would say she is more over her ex than her boyfriend is over his ex MrBen.
Sorry to point that out 4get, but it is loooking that way!

[oopsydoopsy]

4get. Irrespective of what is written before, I hope that you manage to sort everything out to a satisfactory end. You are a good person - hiding that picture was wrong . Those are your memories and should not be hidden away by anyone without your say so. He should have talked to you, but your relationship is still relatively young. Tell him he needs to be honest with you in the future.

[Rubyrose]

Ok... this is a tough one. I was with my ex 5yrs but when we got together he had pics of his ex in his wallet and keyring and I made him remove them... just as I thought it was disrespectful.... but I suppose thats a little different than leaving one on the fridge. I do think your partner is being very petty about it and might be a tad jealous of your ex. Explain to him without being angry (otherwise he will put his defences up and start fighting and neither of you may really know what you are fighting for).. Tell him the picture is there because it reminds you of having fun that day or whatever... nothing to do with you still liking your ex and it's no different than you having a picture of a friend on the way. I'm telling you now.... if you let him remove that fridge magnet he will know he has the power and then where will it stop? He will know he can make you get rid of jewelery your ex got you or cuddly toys... Put a stop to it now and tell him not to feel insecure about it... he is an ex for a reason but the picture stays for as long as you want it to.

He won't realise it but in the long run it will be better for him. If he makes you remove that pic then he will always think that there is still something there.... if he leaves it and one day you remove the pic on your own and place it in a draw hidden away then he would feel so much better knowing you took it down.

[Panic Button]

I can't believe you have kept pictures of your ex on display! I feel sorry for the new guy.

[Rubyrose]

Why shouldn't she Panic Button? The pics don't symbolise that she still loves him? It is merely a pic.. a memory... something that reminds her of a nice time! Doesn't mean she shows any less care or respect for her new partner! People need to chill out... (not you Panic.. I mean her boyfriend).. He is being insecure.. without reason it would seem?..
Hell if the pic is bad then maybe she should get rid of every little thing her ex ever bought her... everything he ever touched.. what about the bed they had sex in eh? Surely that's worse than a magnet? Yep... burn the bed... and while you are at it.. stick the hoover attachment in your ear and suck out all memories involving your ex... that should just about do it!!!!!
God... she is who she is today becouse of her ex... well not just him but because of everyone who has come into her life and her new bloke she appreciate that and be old enough and mature enough to understand!

[Panic Button]

Sorry. Thats rubbish.

If it was the other way round she would be asking questions about why are men so thoughtless about women feelings, and how could he possibly think of keeping photos of his ex on display.

[4getmenot]

As I said its not about keeping pics of an ex on display, I have taken down the couple one panic button, but we have been together 3 months and as I said I�ve not even thought about redecorating yet, I�ve been in a whirlwind to even think about whats up in my flat and am hardly there half the time. I didn�t even think about the magnet till I found it missing one day. Why shouldn�t I have pics up of my past mates. We had a history together. I wouldnt mind at all, its different to a framed picture as a couple this is a magnet where you'd really be hard pushed to even know it is him on the ride with me. I�m not going to be called a bad person because I like to have photos around me regardless of who they are. At end of the day it wasn�t a question about me having it there I was just a bit shocked he hid it. Made me laugh. And psychick I�m not quite sure what you mean but she moved away a long time ago and well I�m not the jealous type so wouldn�t matter :-)

[4getmenot]

so panic from my question how would you react. I think I have done the right thing by not saying I found it and putting it away in a box. Not going to start burning my memories now because I have a new bloke, he should be aware thats all they are.