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Apologise to Work Manager or not?

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jeanette1976 | 10:50 Tue 24th Apr 2007 | Body & Soul
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One of the managers came into the finance office where I work and sked who wanted his petrol receipts. I told him that they just went into one of the files and pointed to them to which he laughed and said in disbelief, "Shut up, I've got better things to do...' to which I jokingly said (but obviously meant, 'I'm not a skivvy, y'know'. He then got reallly angry and said in a loud voice, " I should give you some of my work to do then you'll really know what work is!!!" And stormed off.

Now I think about it, perhaps I was a bit cheeky to ask one of the managers to do something for himself... but being fair, I now think I was wrong.

I guess I've got a lot of hang ups but should I apologise to the other manager or leave it until he complains about me... we've never had a problem with eachother and usually have a laugh together, so I was shocked when he 'lightning snapped' at me.

What ever happens, I have to do it quick because the director has just come in and they're both due in a private meeting!!!!!

Many thanks!


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I would say that he was having a bad morning and took it out on you.

I wouldn't apologise if I were you, certainly not if you're only doing it because you think you may get in to trouble - at the end of the day he was in the wrong too, so I would just leave it - unless the atmosphere between you remains strained, in which case I may tackle it with him.
It sounds like he over reacted to what you said!! but an apology may make things a little easier to sort out and get back on an even keel again!!
Its worth remembering that it always takes a bigger person to admit they were wrong and apologise!!
Sounds like you were in the wrong and he was in the right. Managers never are wrong, it's up to us skivvys to realise that and eat humble pie.
Sorry but I disagree. Yes you should say sorry because although you only intended on it being joke he didn't take it as one.He will most likey have forgotten it but to ease your own mind what would it hurt to say those two littles words Good luck. Brenda
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I asked the girl whop has just taken over as my Finance Manager (Maternity leave) who was sitting there when he said it and she said it was actually him that was out of order as he totally over-reacted... plus snapping in front of 2 other people in the room.

She also said that he made it sound as if he was superior and that as I was beneath him and jack-of-all-trades (I do reception, PA to director, Finance / accounts admin AND HR officer) that I STILL have to run around after people higher than myself.....

I've noticed that he snaps really quickly anyway, but I still realise I was in the wrong for asking him to file away his own receipts.

This is going to bug me all day....
I agree with your colleague in the fact that he was wrong.

I would be really pi$$ed off if someone spoke to me like that in front of the office.

All he had to do was put the reciepts in a bloody folder not like you were rude or dismissive to him.

He's probably had a rough morning, i wouldnt worry about it - wait for him to apologise to you - if he doesn't just carry on as normal. xxx
Sounds like he is under pressure, if you feel the need to apologise do so but make sure he realised that he was also in the wrong by speaking to you in that manner, saying 'shut up' in not appropriate from a senior manager or any other colleague for that matter.
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To be honest, I started sniffling behind my PC for 1.5 hrs after.... and as I couldn't stop crying and had to constantly answer the phone with a wobbly voice, I just felt like getting up and walking out..... even though there were two other girls in the room with me.... none of whom bothered to answer the phones.
He may be having a bad day. I would leave it until later take a cup of tea/ coffee to him ( and one for yourself ) and say as he was kind enough to help earlier, you thought you'd repay the favour and ask how his day is going? I would not formally apologise tho'.

OR you could hook up a sound system to play 'The march of the Queen of Sheba' to play everytime he comes to the office and throw yourself to the floor as he enters the office and cling onto his ankles as he attempts to leave again as a mark of your respect for one of the greatest intellects in the Northern hemisphere ... too much ? hope it made you smile though ... perhaps just the David Brench dance everytime he shows up then! lol
lol 'sense4all'.

I dont understand why people think you should approach him (maybe because i'm quite stubborn...).... I'm an Office Manager and PA and if my boss ever told me to shut up i'd also probably shed a tear and feel like walking out.

Just because he may earn a bigger salary or because he's 'higher up' than you gives him no right to disresepct you... if the situation was the other way around i bet people would be saying you're bang out of order and mad for talking to someone like that.
Tell him that if he ever raises his voice to you infront of other people again, you will report him. It has upset and humiliated you, explain that your answer was only meant as a lighthearted response. You will probably get an appology. Dont dwell on it all day you will go home in a bad mood and you shouldnt take your work home. Cheer up, its not your fault he is a humourless ass!
I agree with Nat, noone should snap at you. He's apparently a manager partly for his people skills, if he holds a grudge against you for this, then he clearly shouldnt be in that position. Managers that have a laugh and a joke with you seem all very well but then they do stuff like this and need to learn its us and them. In my old company if we snapped at someone or gave someone a dressing down in front of others, we would sent on a course to learnt to deal with people better. He should have just put the receipts with you and left.
im sorry but i would have done the old "woooooooooooo wave yr hand bag routine" and asked him wat rattled his cage
I don't think it's such a big deal! He was probably just in a bad mood and he will have forgotten all about it by the end of the day. If you apologise then he will just know he can speak to you like this again.... and to be honest... I think he was rude to say 'He has better things to do'!! It's not like you expected him to do anything major... you just told him where he could put the receipts..... He needs to get over it. Sounds like he reckons himself a bit to much....
As a manager I would say that he/she was a little abrupt and rude. Nevertheless, I think some clarity would be required as all staff have a role to play and a job to do:

a) who manages the finance files and receipts?
b) who is responsible for collecting receipts and filing them?
c) are managers meant to access finance files themselves or is there an administrator who logs and files the records?

In many cases if a manager is required to do this, then this might negate the requirement for a filing clerk/admin assistant/finance bod to do it for them � after all, managers are meant to manage people and the business, not receipts and expenses, which they employ someone else to do on their behalf.

Again, as a manager, in this situation I would probably apologise for being rude, but would also expect an apology from you for being c0cky. Who makes the first move depends on the maturity of the individuals involved.
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Well, thanks for the support guys.... Sense4all, loved your answer but I certainly wasn't going to suck up to him by making him tea.... bo@*oks to that....

Anyway, problem solved, I don't have a problem with apologising first, whether I was right or worng... but I caught him going past and just simply apologised.... to which he also apologised and said that I didn't have to as he was totally in the wrong for snapping at me like that....

(But it still took me to say it first.... heh heh heh.... who's the bigger man now?)

Plus, I'm just sick to death of being treat like a skivvy... I actually thought I was going to be a 31 year old woman this year, not a 16 yr old work experience kid.
Glad it is sorted, I was making you a voodoo doll.
OMG thats terrible there is NO WAY you should apologise, if anything he should apologise to you.

Infact you are more within your rights to make a complaint about what he said ("Shut up, I've got better things to do...")
Your reply was only given in defense of that.

Stick by your guns, dont apologise and infact talk to your direct line manager that you dont appreciate being spoken to like that and thats the only reason your reacted like you did.


ops I replied and didnt see if was resolved.
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