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do i meet him or forget him?

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bendigedig | 01:09 Wed 27th Dec 2006 | Body & Soul
26 Answers
i started chatting to a man on a chatroom years ago and have developed a very close relationship with him, we used to text, email or messenger many times a day. it was very exiting and i think i fell for him, to the point where i couldnt find a partner that made me feel like he did so i've been single for years. the internet guy desperatley wants to meet me, but due to my very low self esteem cannot get the confidence to meet him - he has threatened that he will show up at work until i made him promise not to, anyway i finished it with him a couple of months ago as it was hurting me too much, especially when i went out and got a bit tipsy - id want him too much. he still texts me when he's drunk, begging me to stay in touch, and i cannt stop thinking about him - i wish i could get the confidence to meet him, but im scared - what if he doesnt fancy me/ doesnt like me face to face or if i dont like him? what do you think i should do?


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he doesn't sound very nice.. threatening to show up at your work if you didn't meet him (why you have told a stranger where you work I do nt know..!!) ... and only texting you when he's drunk??

If you really want to meet him, why don't you take a friend and make a day of it? OR just agree to meet up for a drink first, for an hour or so? that way you know you've said how long you have, so you can leave if you like, and still stay longer if you wanted.
what have you to got lose...................

nothing except that you may actually get on
and fancy each other...

the net is a strange place, by chattin to people blindly, you often to get to know the real person, who is not affected by their shyness

just go for it,
its better to do something and regret it......
than never do it and always regret it

i'm sure you both will get on ............good luck
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i didnt mean threatened in a nasty way - he got fustrated when i always made excuses not to meet him, and he said that if i didnt want to go to him he'd come to me, and i know where he works as well, he has a lot more to loose if he turned nasty - he's in a high powered job (and no, its not a line he's fed me - his papers have been published on internet and ive seen pictures of him at award ceremonies)
lol fair enough, like curly-milf... (what happened to curly-film??) said, go for it. you obviously want to, and if you dont like him, well that'll be the end of it!!
just go..........between those rain clouds are the blue sky,

i'm sure he's as nervous,,,,,,,,,,,,,,or you'll never know of what might have been
lol twin............honest
aahhh... rite... your twin.. yes i know!! lol
funny lots of people here have twins, triplets
sorry bendigedig,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,GO GO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and tell us how it went too..................
GO FOR IT bendigedig like curly-milf said, what have you got to lose?
Hey bendigedig you've got such an opportunity here you really can't pass it up.
You two have got to know the real people inside, you have this huge advatage already. I can understand why he threatened to show up at your work and I think like all the wonderful advice above that you MUST met him, or you'll regret it all your days. He might be "the one". Don't miss your chance at through shyness.
When happiness comes calling, give it a comfy seat.
Well you've not got very far by not meeting up with him have you?

I think you should just meet him for a coffee or something. Nothing heavy.

And remember pixels don't the man make.

But that said, you won't know unless you try now will you?! Take a risk.
Hmmm, i dont understand. Have you not seen a pic of him or anything? how do you know if you fancy each other? Its only natural to want someone when your tipsy. the fact that he texts you when he is drunk is probably cos he is a little shy too. Why not just agree to meet for a quick drink in your lunch hour and explain to him that you only have limited time. Hey, if he doesnt show, then you know he doesnt fancy you as he probably took a look and walked right past. But, you never know, you might not fancy him either...
Life is too short to miss out on a chance of happiness. As someone has already said, take a friend and make a day of it. Don't assume he's not going to like you just because you have a low opinion of yourself - beauty is very much in the eye of the beholder and he already knows you very well from the contact he's already had and he likes you very much from that. If it doesn't work out at least you know you gave it every chance. You won't be able to say that if you just leave it as it is - its like unfinished business. You can't move on because you've not had any closure. So go, at least you'll know for sure one way or the other - and who knows it could be bendigedig!! You've got nothing to lose except this aching uncertainty.
I went through a phase of chatting to lots of people on the net, and met a few of them, but have to say that not one turned out to be the person i thought they were. it wasnt that they lied, more that i gradually built up an idea of who they were in my mind.

Texting, emailing, and msn, are all good ways to keep in touch with people but its really difficult to get a true idea of someone from these methods alone.

How come you have never shown him a photo? Why not send one before so at least he knows what you look like then you wont have that extra worry that you seem to have.

Im not saying dont meet him, just that years is a long time to be "chatting" and never meet someone. I imagine that you have this ideal person in your head that you are expecting him to be. You might decide you dont think that much of him after all if u ever meet up.
i agree with abgel cake, it might not even be a guy on the other end, it might be a woman...
bendigedig, I can understand how you feel, but listen to nox and the others who suggest you meet up with this guy. When I met my partner, we met as two people interested in art - that's all. We had been chatting on the Internet and decided to visit a large exhibition at a sculpture garden together. He looked a bit rough on his photo, unlike my past partners. However, I was so not looking for a relationship and besides, he was 9 years younger than me and I am disabled and not exactly Kate Moss, so I never saw myself as someone he would fancy. However, when we met face to face, I was captivated by his intelligent mind and gentle chatracter. He had such kindness in his face and was a true gentleman. The following weekend, to my surprise, he asked if he could visit me again. He had to make a nearly 3 hour round trip every time, just to spend a few hours with me, but every weekend for six months, with only one exception, he drove up to see me. He ven drove the long journey mid week sometmes just so wecould have dinner together. With the exception of my father, I have never before met such a caring, considerate and loving man. He moved in with me 16 months ago and to this day we have never had a cross word between us. Even my 90yr old Mum, who was so against anyone entering my life, now loves having my wonderful man around, as does the rest of my family. He is wonderful with my grandchildren, who adore him!

So, had I not plucked up the courage to meet with this lovely man 22 months ago, I would never have found the happiness and the love he surrounds me with. So please give yourself a chance at finding happiness. We all only have one life to live and if you hide yourself away, you will never be able to share the wonderful warmth of heart and the balance that comes from someone loving you and you loving them right back.
awww the lovely ratter, thats so sweet
A special man indeed!

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