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should I meet up with my first love??

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PinkFizz | 14:54 Tue 20th Jun 2006 | Body & Soul
37 Answers
3 yrs ago when I was single I joined FriendsReunited and found some of my old school friends.At the same time I saw my very first boyfriends name on the class list and my heart totally skipped a beat.At the age of 16 I was sooo in love with this boy you wouldnt belive! I left him a message but never heard back and so that was that.Met my current b/f 2 yrs ago and still with him.Then.....3 months ago,I get an email....from my first love!! Swears he never got my email and had only just seem my name on the site himself and had to contact me.He emailed me a pic and my heart nearly stopped.....he hasnt changed a bit!! We have emailed and chatted on msn for the last 3 months and he is desperate for me to meet up with him to catch up.....but I dont know if its a good thing or not! And I haven't told my b/f about this at all,well I told him that an old male schoolfriend had found me on friendsreunited but not that he wanted to meet me.

Would you meet up,purely out of curiousity,as friend,or leave the past as the past??

p.s. the chats/emails have all been innocent and he is divorced.I knew him well enough to know he isnt a liar.


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No it is not fair on him to do that.
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can I also add that I dont want to meet him for anything physical/sexual,I would just like to meet him as a friend that I knew 20 years ago.
as long as you are both clear on the fact that its just friendship and catching up then why not, i'd also let you b/f know that you are meeting him so everything as it would seem dodgy if he later found out.
If theres nothing going on in your emails then why not. I would mention it to bf though just to keep things honest. Is he attached at the moment? Maybe you could get a few friends together and take your bf along.
Why do you want to meet him? Is it to rekindle your relationship? Or a completely innocent coffee and catch up? If it's so innocent why are you keeping most of the details of this a secret from your current boyfriend? Unless you are certain you can keep your meeting and any further relationship platonic, I suggest you leave well alone! And if you do meet this man, as a friend. I think it is important to tell your boyfriend.
If its totally innocent and not going to lead elsewhere then meet him. You will propbably regret it if you don't. If you can put your hand on your heart and say you have no interest other than a catch up with an old mate, then go for it. I take it your boyfriend wouldn't like it which is why you have been a little less than honest about it. If he wouldn't, don't tell him. If it is only gonna be the once, then it won't be a problem.
Hi FizzyPop! My initial response would be to say 'no'. It's well in the past (you were 16 for crying out loud!!!) and I can't see what you expect to gain from it.

HOWEVER, if you can't get this person out of your head then I suggest you do meet up, if only for closure. I've been in this situation before and it's not good. Things can become very complicated if the attraction is mutual.
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I can see both sides of what you are saying.If he hadnt emailed me then I can say hand on heart that I wouldnt have attempted to make contact again with him.But we knew each other so well,he still knows loads of my old friends that I wasnt able to trace and I would love to know how everybody is doing now.

But(Champagne lol) he is gorgeous.....lolol
I wouldnt do anything really,only joking...honest!
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lol WM - I dont think in a million years would I get away with being a boy!! Can I still come though?
As a bloke, I can imagine that this guy might be hoping that you may rekindle old feelings and enter into an illicit love affair with no strings attached. Notice the word 'desperate'. I can also imagine that his wife didn't understand him...

I think it is wrong to be deceitful to your partner about this but not necessarily to tell him all about it, but you are hiding this from himk, you devious minx! I just think that you should steer well clear of individual meet ups in this way.

If this was a man asking this question, the women on here would be ready to castrate him for even looking at emails from an old flame.

I think you should let him know that a few emails a year will suffuce for contact and I bet you don't hear from him again. Leave the past in the past.
If seeing his name on a web page "made your heart skip a beat", how can you honestly say that you know you won't want to meet him for anything physical/sexual/emotional rather than "just friends"??

Not saying it's a bad thing to do however and if you want to meet him, then you don't need to justify it to anyone...apart from your bf. How would you feel if he was meeting exes (albeit just from school)? If this were my bf wanting to meet a school ex, I'd be quite p*ssed off about it, especially if he kept it from me.

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When I say my heart skipped a beat - I meant that It threw me to see a name I hadnt seen for 20 years,especially after the way we split up.

I have actually told b/f that I have had the odd email,just not how many!! And yes if roles were reversed I would not be happy.
listen hun! i think that you SHOULD meet up with him only as friends though as this could cos a rift between you and your partner, if you go to the meeting place with the intention of talking about life and what you have been doing since you last saw eachother then thats ok its harmless, but if you go to the meeting with him with a different perspective in your mind Say: you wanna talk about what happened to you two or what would of happened if you were still together then i would say dont go cos as some of the others have said you were only 16 after all.

good luck chat soon! xx
Hmmmmmm.... you keep convincing yourself Fizzy. ;o)
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lol Champagne - you don't believe me do you??

How about if I took a friend with me??
If hes that good looking perhaps we should all go with you? :)
Hi pink,

I think you should meet,what can happen? if there is still a spark there than that is your destiny,
I am a strong believer that what will be will be,you can say no and regret it evermore,
I told you before I am meeting my first ever girlfriend later this year and I haven't seen her since I married 34 years ago,my wife knows and she suggested we meet,

Hold on is she trying to get rid of me? I know There is no future in the past, but I am really looking forward just to catching up our past is what shapes us into who we are, good luck, take care,

Ray xx
I think somethings are best left in the past - and this is one of them. We all have great memories of our childhood and our first b/fs etc... but i dont think u should risk what you've got with ur current boyfriend if ur happy with him.

Sometimes we all get caught up in the moment and that might happen if you meet up with him.

yeah good idea redcrx lets all go !!if hes a cutie

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