Hospital Bed At Home

[Thisoldbird]

It's looking like we may have to have a hospital bed at home when my husband is discharged from hospital.

We already changed from double to singles which is fine but they are both against a wall. Hospital bed will need to allow nurses/ carers to use both side of bed..our second very tiny bedroom is already crammed with other equipment he needs.

Before anyone down sizes make sure you keep this sort of situation in mind.
At this rate I'll be sleeping in the shed!!
I'm normally such an organised person I'm hating this disruption.
The other option is go into care. I really haven't the heart to do that to him. It's like turning someone out of there home.

This isnt a question just me rambling on a sleepless night of worry.

[rowanwitch]

Dave had the hospital bed in the sitting room and the bedroom became my space for the few minutes four times a day that the carers were with him and when a friend could sit with him while I had a quick nap, it meant he could watch tv and wasn't excluded from the activity in the home which would have been the case if he was in one of the bedrooms. I don't know how long you will have this change to your living arrangements but it's what worked for us.

[Thisoldbird]

Rownwitch sadly my husband won't be coming home. His health and care are way beyond my capabilities now. He will be discharged to a nursing home eventually. Hopefully local where I can visit him regularly.

[anneasquith]

TOB. I really hope OH will be near you when he is transferred. I wonder do you at least have a decent rest/sleep while OH is in hospital ?.

[gness]

I have read but not contributed to this thread, Oldbird. Only because having cared for my husband for eleven years I knew what you were going through and coping with and I still feel raw thinking of others doing the same.
I'm sorry for what is happening now. I do hope he is close by when he leaves hospital. If others are doing the caring and nursing in a home you can sit, chat, hold hands and share photos and memories.
Take care.....x

[andres]

thisoldbird--- I really feel for you especially as we have been in an almost identical situation. My OH spent months in hospital after falling headlong downstairs . Paralysed neck muscles, food entered his lungs giving him aspirational pneumonia. Put on a drip . 4 months in hospital where at one point he was put on the 'free list'. and then one month in re-hab. Came home at last and now although he has a number of other medical problems he is still here ,thank goodness. He is 88years old now.
Like you and your OH we have been together for a long time--67years now. I really hope everything turns out alright . Thinking of you and your OH --xx

[Thisoldbird]

Thank you all for your kind messages. It really does help knowing people care. So sorry to hear of others having to deal with similar.
He had the Esophageal dilation today. It went well, apparently..he was only allowed to sip luke warm liquids til this evening. It concerned me that the coffee was still being coughed up every time he took a sip.
I'm hoping it's because his throat may be very tender having had medical "tools" thrust down it.
He will be monitored over the weekend. Hopefully he will be able to keep a bit of food and liquid down going through the proper tubes.
I have had better nights this last couple of weeks. At first I woke frequently, convinced I had heard him say my name..last night I seemed to be awake most of the night with todays proceedure on my mind

Thank you again..best wishes to you all x

[choux]

Dear lady, bless both of you. I am so relieved with you that he has come through his operation, albeit sore which is understandable. Your husband must be a fighter. I really hope that despite your exhaustion you can get some decent rest tonight. Please take care of yourself, you are so important to each other. It is kind of you to update all of us who are rooting for the pair of you. May you rest easier tonight xx

[choux]

Hello old bird. I hope you had a better night's rest and that you found your husband had improvement in his swallowing today. I have thought of you both often today. Please make sure you are eating properly, this long term worry and hospital visiting really takes it out of a person. Night night x

[choux]

I just noticed that this thread has dropped out of latest posts as it is now more than a month old. Not to worry, it remains open to post on :)

[choux]

Night night, old bird. You are both in my thoughts and prayers x

[Thisoldbird]

Thank you. Any prayers are welcome tonight.

It appears the op he had Friday hasn't worked. He has Aspiration pneumonia again.
Today I have sat beside him 5 hours without him opening his eyes. When he did he was very confused. He has always been aware of everything and everyone around him.
There is nothing more they can do. His tiny body has not an ounce of fight left in it..
I'm waiting for the phone to ring at any time.

Thank you all for your caring thoughtful wishes. They are very much appreciated. X

[choux]

I am very saddened to read this, dear lady. That must be a day you wouldn't want to re-visit. I was so wishing the op would have made all the difference to him so I can imagine your devastation at the news today. Try to get some rest in, you will so need your strength in the days to come. I send you my heartfelt wishes and love x

[choux]

Hello old bird. I have thought about you so often since your last post and I do wonder how you are? Still here for you and praying. x

[Thisoldbird]

Thank you so much choux, I have spent several hours with my beloved today. He was a little more talkative but such a quiet weak voice. I've given him sips of water from a feeder cup...most came back as did the liquid pain relief they gave him to ease his poorly bottom. He has a nasty pressure sore on the end of his coccyx..somewhere he can't get off it. He cannot lay on his side,can now only move when the nurses are dealing with him.
Today they were to set the ball in motion to discharge him to a nursing home. He has yet another chest infection so talk of discharge delayed til Wednesday. I gather this is common practice, when there is no more can be done, nursing homes or hospice get to administer end of life care.
Moving him is going to be so upsetting for him. I truly wish his suffering would end. Much as I don't want to lose him I don't want him to suffer as he is now. Life can be so cruel. X

[choux]

Hello. I have some experience of that and it is such a hard path to tread, I do know how you feel. Paramount is the pain relief for him and you are always worried about the quality of life. Such a desperately sad time for you. You have done everything you possibly can and when you arrive at the point that you have to accept you can no longer look after him especially after all the years you have been together, well - it is very hard for you.

Life is so precious but, as you say, it can also be so cruel. It is hard to pull yourself away from him at times. To see him getting upset as well as being in pain is beyond measure.

I do hope you are taking care of yourself, old bird and, as ever, I pray you can get some sleep. Bless you x

[anneasquith]

TOB, I saw you on lynnes thread. I wondered how OH is ?. You maybe have gone to sleep/rest. I’ll look out for any posts from you . Prayers from me continue.
I see choux is keeping an eye on you :-).

[Thisoldbird]

Aww annesquith that's sweet of you.
It's not a good night, lots on my mind to deal with, I'm not sure where to start. I used to be the organised one but my brain is all over the place.
Xx

[anneasquith]

I’m so pleased you replied. You must be exhausted. I won’t ask you for any news re OH tonight.
Would a hot drink with a little bit of medicinal alcohol help you to at least have a little sleep ?

There is always someone around late at night for a chat/moan . Prayers and very best wishes continue for you all . Anne .

[choux]

Hello old bird, how are you both tonight? I meant to say last night that I was pleased your husband could talk a little, must have made a world of difference for you even allowing for how weak his voice was.

I was thinking after you spoke to anne early this morning, why not jot down the thoughts as they occur to you - sort of parking them until morning? These long nights you have with precious little rest are a torture you really don't want.

Really hope that having a chance to chat here and off load how things are is of help to you, otherwise I would feel like a stalker - heaven forbid!

I often wake in the night or early hours and I check here to see if you have posted. Still, we now have a small prayer group with anne joining in so hope that helps too. Take care, as always x

[choux]

Hope all is well. You said that today might be the time for the hospital to make a decision about your dear husband's discharge - chest infection permitting. Will say night night for now, old bird. x