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Why do women give you their mobile numbers and then don't answer their phones?

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paidinfull | 23:16 Tue 12th Apr 2005 | Body & Soul
19 Answers
This has happened to me a lot lately. I'd go out, meet a woman, get on great with her, she would give me her phone number, I would then call a day or two later and she doesn't answer and doesn't return my call. (I only ever call once � I can take a hint, I'm not a stalker!) What's the deal? If she didn't want to talk to me, why did she give me her phone number EVEN WHEN I DIDN'T ASK FOR IT! In fact, coming to think of it, I have never asked for a woman's number: they always seem to give it to me. Do women feel that it is impolite not to give their phone number to a strange man that they have been having a conversation with for more than 30 minutes? The whole point of giving your number, surely, is so you can then have a conversation and, maybe, even meet sometime. All the songs talk about getting her number and calling her. I feel I'm missing something here. I don't feel whole. Please solve this mystery for me.



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You are making the mistake of crediting women with some form of logic!
she might give you her number as a sort of "   get out claus    " but trust me if she really wanted to see or hear from you again she would make sure she answered your call. but dont be diss heartened there will be someone out there that will answer you one day trust me it'll be worth waiting for

It certainly doesn't happen to me. Loosehead basically has the answer, and I think you're giving up too quickly by only trying once. I know lots of people who have mobiles and don't bother to answer them when they're doing something more important. Women also often put their phones in the bottom of their bags and then don't hear them ringing, so they miss hundreds of calls and just giggle and don't really seem to care when they find out.

I used to give women my number to look less threatening than asking for theirs, I've turned to stone waiting for the first call...

Men do it too.

Was this women in a club or pub? In which case, she could have been drunk. You know what that's like- the beer goggles make you more forward, and make the person you are flirting with far more attractive than in the cold light of day. She could have been just carried away in the moment, and the morning after realised that she didn't actually want to make a move after all. Last time I got drunk me and my friend planned a road trip to Scotland. Like that will ever happen in reality!!

Or the woman could have given you a made up number. When you call, the person who owns that phone is thinking 'whose number is this?' and doesn't answer. Actually, that might happen anyway. I never answer if the number is unknown. Try leaving a message/texting. And yeah, call more than once but LEAVE A MESSAGE.

Re-reading your message i reckon they want you to call but don';t know who you are. text instead.


have a listen to the breakfast show on radio one, they have this phone line that you give the number to if you're out and someone starts chatting you up that your not interested in. Its very cruel - but quite funny - you could be on that!!!!

girls are mean

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Thanks for the answers. It really does seem there is no logic to this. The women I met were not drunk and, even if they were, how could they possibly know what I look like the next day when their sober and I am not there for them to look at?

I know about that Scott Mills phone line thing - it's a bit harsh. Mind you, the people who leave those messages, seem shameless enough so I am sure they can hadle it. Thankfully, I have never been given a false number - yet!


I go with the "they don't know who's calling" thing.  OR they were busy when you rang.  I think a text is safer the first time - and for goodness sake say who you are and where you met them.  THere's nothing more annoying (in mobile comms anyway!) than a text from an unknown number, where the person didn't sign off at the end!!! :-)
I'd agree with the others. Call again and leave a message. I almost never answer my mobile because A) I don't recognise the number, B) I'm either driving/eating or otherwise engaged or C) I don't get there in time.

At least if you leave a message and she doesn't return your call, you'll have tried. I personally wouldn't give my mobile number to a man I wasn't interested in.

I agree with the others, send a text message saying who you are etc.  I know at first I would rather text until I know for sure I want to speak to them.

Do you want my number and I will prove this works???

If you want something from a woman, be it sex, a date, or whatever, I would strongly advise against ever using the phone to get it. I worked in the double-glazing trade for two years and whilst I hated the job (although it paid well) I learnt a staggering amount about human behaviour. For example, door-canvassing yields far more good "leads" than tele-canvassing. Why? Because it is a lot more difficult to slam a door on someone than it is to hang up the phone on them. Think about it, when the police want to speak with someone in connection with an incident, do they call them and politely ask if they'd like to attend the station at a time to suit them? No, of course not. They go round their in person. In pairs. Think about that.

There's a saying used in marketing "never call someone unless you have something to say".

Think about that also.

Andy008 is spot on. I'm afraid to say that i have done this a few times. I don't mean to and i know its mean but its not easy to reject someone face to face if they seem like a nice person despite the fact you don't fancy them (i'm not saying thats the case in your situation). once or twice i gave out a false number on purpose but they called my mob in front of me to check,  serves me right.
Women in clubs and out feel inclined to pleas men, if the give you there number without asking then it means they do like you but not in that way or not that much, or they cant remember the night and think you might be a minger. we like to please and we dont like to be rude. and if you been talking for a while then we think you wont be happy unless you do get are number. or they do it to get rid of you.
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Not giving your number out to someone is not rude. But giving your number to somebody you do not like is just bewildering.

So tell me this: if women give out their number to men they don't like - just to please them or get rid of them  - what do they do when they meet a man they do like? Have sex with them immiediately?

One positive thing does drop out of all this: there'll never be a population problem in this country as long as we have these bizzarre dating protocols.

Dear Paidinfull
 i KNOW why this is happening to you!  If a female is interested in you and she gives you her number and then fails to answer the phone then she is probably doing The Rules, which basically means playing hard to get by giving you the impression she is BUSY. If you're thinking she is busy then you might be wondering where she is, what she is doing, and with whom!
If you want to understand the above (as many women follow the rules but all will vehemently deny that they follow the rules!) then may I suggest that you get hold of a copy of the following book:
The Rules
By Ellen Fein & Sherrie Schneider
And you must read Chapter IV, Rule 5��..Don't call him and Rarely Return His Calls

I hope this has been of some help
Carol : )

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I'M having a big challenge in my life .i was telling myself that i'm ready for a relationship ,so when i try to find someone she tells me that she wanna be a friend she doesnt have a passion for me ,when i try to find another person she tells me the same story .i need a help .what must i do ?

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