ChatterBank1 min ago
Help!
12 Answers
How would you take this? I have a "friend" who emails me every day of their itinerary of what they've been up to at the weekend, and what they are doing during the week. Never really interested in what I do at all. What would you think of this?
Any advice/help greatly appreciated.
Answers
1 to 12 of 12
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by Uselink. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.
Sounds like my friend (now ex friend). I had a friend like this up until a couple of weeks ago. Over the years she was getting increasingly worse. Would email/call me all the time to time to tell me about all the bad things that was going on in her life....tell me intimate details about her sex life and cry about anything. This got me down all the time and I felt emotionally drained by the end of it. She would never ask me about what was happening with me....or she just wouldn't listen if I did tell her. She was just so self obsessed. In the end, I just tried to be a blunt as I could..I wouldn't agree with anything she said and I tried to faze it out. Now she realises I'm not interested in talking about her all the time she hasn't contacted me and is a little rude if she does. I just don't need someone like that in my life. It's difficult especially when I've know her for the best part of 22 years. People are like this with you/me because they know they can..you are a nice person and don't like upsetting people and they realise this and cline on to you. Just be strong. x
What do you mean that they are never really interested in what you do? Do you mean that they ignore you if you try to tell them, or do you mean they never ask? If it is the latter, perhaps they are sharing with you hoping that you will do the same, but not realising they should perhaps add 'what about you?' to thier mails to you.
this so called 'friend' is not at all a friend. i have known people like this and honestly they're not worth the time or effort. everything they do is so much more important than anything you do and any problem they have is so much more worse than yours. they pretend to be interested in you but you know they're not cos you can tell they're thinking bout themselves when you talk to them and they jump straight back to talking bout themselves soon as you finish talking!! people like this are so self obsessed.if you think this isnt a true friendship then you should try to distance yourself from them. its hard at first but it does work! good luck and let us know how you get on x x
not knowing the person it's difficult to say. however, that sort of 'behaviour' can be caused by depression and if that is the case, the person can have no control over their compulsive behaviour. since i was poorly some years ago i do look a little further into people's actions and what makes them tick, and try not to judge.
take care
Well I guess from reading a few of the posts you have to be careful, but Uselink, I also had a 'friend' like that until the beginning of this year and I have been so glad to see the back of her. We did used to be proper friends until several years ago. Little by little, much as I loved her to begin with, I used to dread seeing her - and not only me, but my husband and kids too.
If your friend really does just block whatever you say about your life, or says that no matter what you've done, she has done/experienced/suffered it 10 times more, then it's probably time to just cut and go. She won't miss you anyway because she's not interested. The only reason she has you there is because you're the only person that will listen to her 'fantastic' life for so long. You know it bores you, so ditch her. What's she doing for you?
Ask yourself this: will you miss her? The answer is probably no, so what's the point in being polite? Relationships are about give and take. Stop taking all the time and give yourself some slack. Don't feel bad about it.
If it's just the emails, what's the bother? Reply very briefly to every 12th one, trash the rest. No need to go through all the psychic aggro of dumping her if you seldom actually see her. Emails are the easiest things in the world to ignore.
That said, catanory has a point: you sure she hasn't got a reason for this behaviour? It is usually just egotism; but she might have a problem.
Why did you put inverted commas around the word FRIEND? Are you using the term loosely because you don't consider them a friend at all? Or because you haven't known them very long?
Either way, by posting this question alone I think you've shown that you're tired of this person. Nobody can advise you how to deal with them, unfortunately, as this will be dependant on the relationship you both have and your personality. But it does sound to me that at the very least you need to keep this person at arms length. Even if it's just until you get to know them better.
I have encountered many people like this before and thankfully it's really not difficult to sort out. But remember, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Best of luck.
Either way, by posting this question alone I think you've shown that you're tired of this person. Nobody can advise you how to deal with them, unfortunately, as this will be dependant on the relationship you both have and your personality. But it does sound to me that at the very least you need to keep this person at arms length. Even if it's just until you get to know them better.
I have encountered many people like this before and thankfully it's really not difficult to sort out. But remember, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Best of luck.
Ugh, I hate people like that. Who you can't have a decent conversation with because you're asking all the questions/talking because they never do. Boring!
I'd write back to them telling them all about myself and what *I've* been doing and not asking any questions about them, even if it's to be polite or doesn't carry on their (one sided) email/conversation. Don't ask them 'how are you?' don't ask them any questions at all! If you're lucky they'll get bored with your emails and stop sending you theirs.
1 to 12 of 12
