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Quick fire solutions for a 18 mnth old that refuses to go to sleep

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tgm1974 | 12:56 Thu 14th May 2009 | Parenting
6 Answers
My son is 18 months old and has been in his own bed for the past 2 months - he would never settle in his cot. Going to bed was such an ease when we change him into his bed. When 7.30pm arrived it was into his room, with his bottle, and then off to sleep - I could guarantee he would be asleep by 8pm, giving me a nice long relaxing night to myself, which was previously an impossibility.

Since the light nights have approached these last 2 weeks have changed into a nightmare. He does have black out blinds in his room so that blocks the majority of the daylight.

Our routine now has changed from going to bed at 8.30pm as there is no physical way I can get him to go any earlier. Even at 8.30pm things arent good. He will finish his bottle and instead of the usual turning to me for a kiss and cuddle, then laying peacefully til he falls asleep he wants to sit up, or pat my head (in a loving fashion), kick at me playfully, etc. When I lay him back down he will get back up again and try to get off the bed or start playing with a teddy. It can take over an hour before he is actually asleep but this is with a lead up of the above or tantrums.

As I work full time I lay with him at bedtime as this is "our time" for cuddles and closeness. I did leave him in his room the other night after a naughty spell to which he made himself sick and vomited everywhere. I cant really leave him at min as he will get out of bed if not vomit everywhere.

Not sure if the terrible 2's are approaching and he is testing new boundaries but he is even playing up for Dad (Im the soft one).

Anyone experienced this or have any tips to settle him better .......... bath, book/bottle and bed is not happening!
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There is no easy way to deal with this apart from being very firm and sticking to your guns. I would completely agree that he is probably approaching the terrible 2's and is definitely testing the boundaries. Don't let him win! You are the boss and as much as you love him and want to spend time with him he does need clear boundaries and a routine.
Is there absoulutely no way he can go to bed earlier? 8.30 is rather late for a child this age and it could be contributing to why he is misbehaving. It sounds to me like he knows how to get your attention and it may be wise to cut down oe stop the bedtime cuddling and do it downstairs instead so he knows that bed is for sleep only. I would advise that you keep on with the bath, quiet time, bottle and bed routine trying to put him down earlier if you can and settle him then leave the room. Keep going back if he gets up but say its sleep time now. If he repeats the getting up then calmly go in and put him back saying nothing. The key is that he learns he cannot get attention from doing this and will soon settle to sleep especially as you didn't have problems before. It will be hard but stick with it and it will work.
Please don't let your guilt of working full time make allowances for his behaviour. As long as you have plenty of quality times with him for a while after your work and on weekends and he is settled and happy in childcare then he is just testing you.
Good luck
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Earlier wont happen but I will try - if I leave the room he will follow me to the safety gate at top of the stairs. I know I will end up coming up and down 100 times before he goes down. Dont want to put safety gate on his room as I will be over run by them!

I know what I need to do but its just knowing which is best!
I know its not a quick fix, but have you seen supernanny's bed time routine?
Just a small thing, but it might help. If you are seeing there has been a difference since the evenings got lighter, it might help to keep the number of electric lighting on very low after say 6pm, and make sure the downstairs curtains/ blinds are closed.

This will make it seem more like night time, so he may be more inclined to go to bed as he did in winter..
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Attempted the early to bed last night at 7.50pm - went off for 8.15pm so not too bad. I just think he is getting to the stage of really needing less sleep even though he only gets an hour through the day!
My son is 18 months, and we have the oppisite problem to you - he will go to sleep as normal, by 7.30, but since it has got lighter earlier he has been waking up at 5am!!

Sorry, not sure how this helps, but I don't know what to do either. We have blocked all light from his bedroom, with little effect. Someone told me it is the sound of the birds singing that wakes children earlier at this time of year...maybe your son can hear children playing outside? Or other sounds that tell him its still daytime? You could try playing some quiet soothing music in his room at bedtime to distract from other noises.

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