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D I Y Mammogram...

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gness | 20:05 Thu 05th Mar 2015 | ChatterBank
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...or The Bird Box Blues....take your pick for this week's little mishap....

Aldi had for sale put together yourself cheepie...;-)...bird boxes....
Ooo...I thought....I'll buy one and bling it up...so I did....Had it had two sides a back, front and lid it would have been fine...mine didn't....so it didn't clip together properly...

Never mind...thought I....a but of pressure and a couple more screws should do it.......
So....clutching it tightly to my chest I forced the last screw into place in an attempt to draw the thing together....

I succeeded!

Unfortunately a portion of my left boob was caught in the two sections that came together.....tightly.....

Did I swear!....I'm not a sweary person....I surprised myself with my sudden knowledge of every swear word in the English and Irish language.....

The bruise has now developed....just below my cleavage it looks as if I have had the letter....L....tattooed where I never wanted a tattoo.....

But if anyone eligible male called...Len....Leo....Lance....fancies an aging red head...okay, Shoota...grey... with his initial tattooed on her boob.... ;-)

I shall leave you to decide what sort of bird the box is designed for......x
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Blue tits! x
20:15 Thu 05th Mar 2015
I've just googled 'Aldi bird box' and all of the results are for 'Bird box with camera'. Does that mean you'll be showing us photos? ;-)
Oh gness! What are you like? Sounds extremely unpleasant.
Blue tits! x
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No I'm flipping well not, Chris! There isn't enough sellotape in the world to pert me up enough for AB......x

Not on the box, Mamya...but I did look a bit like that when I released myself from the box....

Lard...It made the mammogram nurses seem gentle and kind...x
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Yep, Barsel...me and the box both....blue tits!
You obviously bought the wrong box, the one designed for blue tits instead of great tits.
Barsel, well said lol
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Great no longer, Jack.....off to the pub quiz soon....with a scarf......the cleavage is out of sight for some time...x

Hi, Psyb..x
Good grief! I hate it when the nurses do that squishy thing
I now wish to be known as 'Loota'....
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Me too, Lard....when they haul the skin from around your back into the machine...... ;-(

Hi, Loota.....♥
Starts with 'L'.....
Well get some alcofrol down your neck gness - might numb the pain a bit.
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...ends with a ?.....

Just a Guinness at the quiz, Lard.....need to retain some marbles.....but I might need something stronger tonight....x
//But if anyone eligible male called...Len....Leo....Loota....fancies an aging red head...//
my brother Lawrence is feeling a bit lonely these days, gness ;-)
Oh Gness, I love you ! It must be for the " Oh my booby bird"....closely related to the " Oh my googly bird" of Australia. Be careful at the pub. x
Yes, wouldn't want you going a over t and bruising something else!
That must have been a star(t)ling experience ... I bet you are a black(and blue)bird.

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