The Height Of Being Tight Fisted?

[sherrardk]

Thing 1 and thing 2 got their first joint Christmas card today, all 4p worth - really annoyed me as a kid (birthday cards to 'the twins'), argh, why don't people think?

[sunny-dave]

They could each send half a card back to the offenders ...

[silliemillie]

Aw thats awful. Reminds me of a childhood friend. It was back in the days when music came on cassette tapes, she and her wtin brother were given a tape each out of a double album!

[dotty.]

does it annoy thing 1 or thing 2 or both of them?

[starone]

I would never do that. I consider it rude and inconsiderate. And if anyone has a birthday near Christmas they get two completely separate presents from me. Even if it was on Christmas Day, they would still get two separate presents worth just as much as they would have got had their birthday fallen in the middle of June.

[paddywak]

An old friend of ours was born on Christmas day, she always says that she knew her marriage would last when her then boyfriend gave her two pressies on their first Christmas together.

[China Doll]

I don't think it's a massively big deal to be honest. As long as immediate family and close friends acknowledge them seperately then it's fine. When they get a bit older they can fight their cause if it bothers them. It's only a card, and those that count probably won't do it.

[sherrardk]

I am a twin and remember the shared present, card, etc (What The Funicular) and being referred to 'as one of the twins', gobsmacked that thing 1 and 2 are now experiencing it (its only a really cheap card - the same as they have sent to everyone else, it's not a money thing, it's a thought thing).

[dotty.]

isn;t it only the same as sending a card to 'the both of you' or 'to all the family' or 'from our house to your house' or 'to the neighbours' ?

[China Doll]

I'm a boxing day baby.... I've had presents/cards grouped together by various relatives for years although my immediate family and friends don't do it. It's really not that big of an issue... plus christmas is expensive so I can kind of see why people might want to buy one nice present rather than two not so good presents... I still don't think it's a big deal.

[sherrardk]

They don't register it, I have past resentment so I am determined that they are just thought of as brother and sister who happened to be born on the same day (probably have to have been there to get it). There is another set of twins in the class (there are loads of twins around here), wouldn't dream or sending them one card, and thing 1 and 2 'sent' individual cards to the rest of the class.

[China Doll]

Agreed dotty, my sisters and I used to get cards 'to the girls'... there's eight years between my youngest sister and I, and six between me and the middle one! It doesn't just happen to twins.

[sherrardk]

They are not the neighbours, they are classmates - two completely little separate people in a class full of other little people, no wonder twins are screwed up.

[craft1948]

Sorry I don't see it as a big deal................

[China Doll]

Yeah but sherrardk, that means it's your issue, not your kids.. and if you make a big deal out of it then you will end up enforcing the same issues on them as they'll pick it up. I really can't see that it's worth it. as I said, them that count are unlikely to do it.

[joko]

because its a card. designed to deliver a xmas message.

joint gifts are a no no, unless its a multiplayer game perhaps.

but i think cards is ok

do you send each member of a household a separate card each? or couples seperate ones?

how old are they? if they are little i doubt they care.

[dotty.]

i sell cards for twins at work but only the birth of, not for birthdays, and often people buy the same card twice and tell me it is for twins, certainly i have sold christmas cards this last week to people buying for twin nephews/nieces and they have bought the same card , one lady bought to a great grandson and to a great granddaughter at christmas and told me they were twins. it's not a big deal to get the right card for the right occasion but people sometimes think they are being thoughtful and inclusive rather than differentiating.

[sherrardk]

CD, that's why we don't all them the 'twins', so it doesn't become an issue. It's horrible when you aren't seen as your own person, when you are always grouped in with someone else, probably have to have been me to get it (probably not all twins were brought up the same). Big deal to us that they feel valued in their own right. Just think its a bit tight over a 4p card.

[sherrardk]

By the same token, if they go to a party they take a present each, not one from the 'twins', works both ways. Wouldn't expect a card to all the kids so why an exception. As I said (but can't shut up about now) they are individuals, not a set.

[joko]

it is my birthday the week before xmas so i too have had the joint gift thing, and it only bothered me if it felt like an excuse to get out of buying 2 gifts and the gift was half as good as my siblings got.

this year i saved my bf's gift from oct to add to his xmas gift so i could get something twice the value... and hes made-up

[China Doll]

Yeah but that's what I'm saying, those that count will make sure that they are seen as two individual people, such as your family and their close friends and obviouisly you... others will send cards like we used to get 'to the girls'... It's you that makes the difference and promotes their sense of value as human beings. Going off on one about it (no matter how mildly) just reinforces the idea that they're different to other kids, which is what you're trying to get away from.... Like I said, I'm sorry but I think it's your issue, not theirs.