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Bloody

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Rondy
I was talking to a girl in a pub the other night and I said "You remind me of my little toe!"
She said "Is that because I’m small and cute?" I replied "No, it's because I’ll probably end up banging... ...
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Rondy
The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She’s beautiful, isn’t she?"
I said, "If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate!"
He said, "Why?... ...
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Rondy
I borrowed a blind friend of mine £20 the other day, He promised me he would pay me back the next time he saw me.
Uh Oh, I should have known better. ___ My wife left me for another man. All that lies... ...
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Canary42
Being a keen bird-lover I've grown a large hedge on my property which now houses several bird's nests every year. Unfortunately the bloody magpies have discovered it and have now raided on several... ...
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VivianD
I'm glad somebody else is having problems with this one. I thought you may have got up too early but I don't know where to start, so, 1a Charts showing me origins of shipping forecast areas: peril... ...
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Rondy
Father in a conversation with a neighbour...
First son: Degree in Economics
Second son: MBA
Third son: PhD
Fourth son: Thief
Neighbour: "Why can't you throw the fourth son out of your house?"
Father:... ...
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Rondy
A man decides to join the circus. He shows up to demonstrate his skills to the Ringmaster.

"I have the most unusual act," he announces. "I'm sure it will amaze you."

He climbs up to the high wire... ...
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Groupie
they get red and bloody,is this through boredom?  
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Daij
3d Tender *rse enclosed in raunchy fringes (8) ?????N?? 8d  European leader replaced with time (depression) (6) ????C? 4d A bloody alternative route! (6) ????S 17a Distant object, not hard, acting as a... ...
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Rondy
Pulled a gypsy bird last night. She asked me did I want to go back to hers for a good time...



She wasn't bloody kidding. I went on the dodgems, waltzers, ghost train and came home with a goldfish!...
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Chipchopper
The job on the farm didn't last long, the boss said that "sleeping on the job is unacceptable" so I took him to the tribunal, and said in my defence "well it was you who told me to count those... ...
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northboy
tried to system restore my comp tonight,and i got a message back saying it was unsuccessful. my computer has been bloody slow all over easter. been on you tube and every bloody vid has been...
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agchristie
Criminal Investigation in doubt due to cutbacks in police funding. Should the British Army Paras face a full investigation over the 1972 incident?...
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anotheoldgit
http://www.dailymail....ot-dead-soldiers.html So the police are now going to investigate charges of murder 40 years after the event, following the findings of the 12 year long, £195million...
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Gromit
David Cameron said: • No warning had been given to any civilians before the soldiers opened fire • None of the soldiers fired in response to attacks by petrol bombers or stone throwers...
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debbz1969
My best friends baby boy (8 months old) was rushed in to hospital at the weekend with roaring temerature and a very suspicious rash covering his little body. At first they did fear the worst and...
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Joe_the_Lion
At my Lodge (non-masonic, don't do all that funny handshake business) we may have to bow to the latest politically correct brigade and allow the fairer sex in. At the moment we do not even employ...
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Gromit
The Ausralian tourist board has been ordered to remove posters because they use the slogan "Where the bloody hell are you!" People have been deeply offended and complained....
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Canary42
I just had a telephone call purporting to be from my bank asking if I had authorised a payment of £1,200 on my credit card. The guy then asked me several questions as a "security check" so I responded...
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Canary42
I've only noticed it recently, so is it something fairly new ? When scrolling down through answers, every so often they're interleaved with bloody adverts (in addition to those displayed on both...

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retrocop
Just why the hell did we bother with these cheese eating surrender monkeys in 2 World Conflicts.Their true colours emerge and it doesn't include the Red ,White and Blue of the UK. I bet there are... ...
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jennyjoan
It was knocked over and it is saying I don't have sky connection on TV.  Router colour is blue   I have gone into settings and I know my password is correct   TV is saying wrong password. Have... ...
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sunny-dave
I hope you've all been outside and had a look at the sky - spectacular Aurora Borealis display over much of Ireland and the UK. Quite amazing here in Kerry - never thought I'd se it here - photo is... ...
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ToraToraTora
https://www.bbc.com/news/live/business-68986351   ...
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potterfan3
the title explains it all
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ToraToraTora
https://e3.365dm.com/24/05/1600x900/skynews-facebook-tvp-south-buckinghamshire_6547067.jpg?20240508094210 ...
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ToraToraTora
*** spoiler ***  
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Peter Pedant
Jerusalem ( who dey?) has just de-platformed al-jazeera - 24 h propaganda available in English and Arabic - and told it to get out of the country. Cabinet level decision - no 2 on the agenda,... ...
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Peter Pedant
Jerusalem ( who dey?) has just de-platformed al-jazeera - 24 h propaganda available in English and Arabic - and told it to get out of the country. Cabinet level decision - no 2 on the agenda,... ...
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William51
 I had a near miss when driving home last night, a youth in a speeding car overtook a car on a corner right in front of me and i had to flash my lights at him. Anyone else had one recently?.
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naomi24
I'm watching the news and it's pretty depressing.  
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potterfan3
the title explains it all
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ToraToraTora
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cv2rp4dmxv2o why do people get so upset because the odd pub doesn't want their little darlings running about screaming? ...
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Ken4155
Today's ITV7 comes from Ayr and Newbury; 1st leg is the 1.50 at the Scottish track and the ITV7 concludes with the Grand National's little brother, the Scottish National at 3.35. There are 3... ...
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Arksided
Hi all as the 'answer box' has disapeared from the last one I'll start afresh as that was due to disapear from latest posts anyway today or tomorrow. Many know how to play, they isn't rules as such... ...
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jno
I frequently get an error message when trying to send a Gmail, specially if it's replying to one: "Oops... a server error occurred and your email was not sent. (#007)" Just over the last month or so,...
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naomi24
... for see-through dresses?  Here's Sheridan Smith in her new... ...
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barney15c
So all the top people didn't know their jobs (thought police and CPS were prosecuting PM's when it was the PO), accused PM of  stealing the money, and yet still don't take responsibility, their... ...
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Canary42
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-68787990 ;     ...
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Buenchico
. . . climbing up ropes in the gym at school. Were you? https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-europe-68789522 ...

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Who is a Bloody Mary named after

A. The Bloody Mary started life in the 1920s in Harry's New York Bar in Paris, where a barman named Fernand Petiot mixed vodka with tomato juice and called his creation 'The Bucket of Blood'. It01:00 Mon 29th Oct 2001

London Dungeon

The London Dungeon is a tourist attraction which glorifies various tortures from the Medieval Age. It recreates various gory and macabre historical events in a grimly comedic 'gallows humour' style, which attempts to make them appealing to younger audiences. It uses a mixture of live actors, special effects and rides. ...16:37 Mon 24th May 2010

The Battle of Kohima

The Battle of Kohima has been compared to the siege of Stalingrad and, from another war, to the Somme. It stands as one of the great turning-points of the Second World War, and as testament to the01:00 Mon 29th Apr 2002

'Zounds, sirrah. That's a minced oath, I'll warrant.'

Q. What the flip... A. Zounds - God's wounds - is a minced oath Q. A what A. A minced oath is an expletive that has been softened in order to minimise the offence it might cause. The minced bit01:00 Sat 13th Apr 2002

So an old agnostic has been lining Anglican coffers Is that poetic justice

A. Yes - amusing, isn't it Monica Jones, mistress and muse of the late Philip Larkin, has left 1 million to St Paul's Cathedral, Durham Cathedral and Hexham Abbey. Larkin, on reading the Bible,01:00 Mon 21st Jan 2002

What is a savoury cocktail

A. Mixologists at some of London's most exclusive celebrity watering holes have come up with a flamboyant blend of cocktail for the party season - Cup A Soup. Clubs like Groucho, Attica, Atlantic Bar01:00 Mon 31st Dec 2001

What's the most peaceful county of England

A. If you mean peace as in war, look no further than tiny Rutland. Only one battle has been fought on Rutland soil - a place known as Bloody Oak. Q. Sounds nasty. A. Nasty indeed. On 12 March,01:00 Mon 04th Jun 2001

Westminster Central Hall

The Westminster Central Hall is Central Hall Westminster, a unique and historic building, centrally located across the road from Westminster Abbey and the Houses of Parliament. The Hall operates as a conference and exhibition centre, a concert hall, an art gallery, serviced offices, a Methodist church, a tourist attrac...16:37 Mon 24th May 2010

The Leaders’ Debate Drinking Game

By @ArmyOfDave  Remember the Nick Griffin Question Time Drinking Game Thems were good times, weren’t they So when @chickenprincess asked me on Twitter if we were going to have a drinking game for Thursday’s election debate I thought “Why the bloody hell not " So here are the rules ...16:37 Mon 24th May 2010

Come to the Cayman Islands

Some say the best things come in threes, which would explain why the Cayman Islands are so popular. With exotic and tropical locale combined with sparkling waters and sweeping beaches these islands offer the perfect holiday paradise. Caribbean Activities: Beaches, reefs and wrecks are just some of the underwater deli...16:37 Mon 24th May 2010

Good weekend... (just a quick one today)

Hello! How are we this week Did you all have a good weekend As I logged on this morning to go through the routine monday clear-out I was shocked to find that it wasn't really that routine... there14:00 Mon 06th Oct 2008

Find in-depth answers on...

Water and health Going to Graceland Who was Bloody Mary History of karaoke12:12 Mon 10th Mar 2003

How should you handle fresh horseradish

A. With care. Grow your own horseradish with caution, as it is rampant and self-seeds from the smallest piece left in the soil. Handle the root with care, as once it is cut or grated it gives off01:00 Mon 15th Apr 2002

Why are synagogues being bombed in France

asks PDTV:A. There has been a wave of attacks on synagogues and Jewish-owned property in France since the Easter weekend. A synagogue in Marseilles was destroyed by fire, stolen cars were rammed01:00 Wed 03rd Apr 2002

Sven Hassel: True or false

Q. Well A. That's a tough one. It really depends on which of the two versions of his life - both of which stretch credibility - you believe. Version one - that most appropriate to the books -01:00 Fri 29th Mar 2002

How long is the gestation circle of a dog

This was asked by ouyangz, thanks to artisan for this answer. A. The length of pregnancy, or gestation period, is 61 to 65 days, the average being 63 days from the first day of breeding. Q. How01:00 Mon 11th Mar 2002

The innocence of the garden: Adamitism

Q. Adamitism Doesn't sound that innocent. A. It's innocent enough. Adamitism is dressing like Adam; that is, without any clothes. Q. Nudity, then A. Indeed. A search on the Internet reveals01:00 Thu 07th Mar 2002

Which ad has attracted the most complaints recently

A. The controversial Yves Saint Laurent ad promoting the perfume Opium, which featured Sophie Dahl posing naked, drew a record 948 complaints. Members of the public complained the ad was offensive,01:00 Mon 18th Feb 2002

Who will be the one to unite and rule Afghanistan

A. The smart money is on Hamid Karzai, Afghanistan's interim leader. He is tipped to become the fully-fledged prime minister of the country in a vore by the tribal council - Loya Jirga - later this01:00 Mon 11th Feb 2002

The names of the US states

When, on 4 July 1776, the 13 British colonies in North America declared their independence, the United States of America was born. As the continent was opened up and other European-administered lands01:00 Thu 22nd Nov 2001

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