McMouse
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months,...
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McMouse
"Do you believe in reincarnation?"
"Yes"
"What do you want to come back as?"
"A mobile phone, because then my wife might speak to me"...
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McMouse
respond better to a good grinding than strangulation?
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McMouse
Is Ed an agent of GCHQ? And do posts on CD go straight to US and UK Security?
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McMouse
His Lordship was in the study at Downton Abbey when the butler approached and coughed discreetly. "May I ask you a question my Lord?" "Go ahead Carson," said his Lordship. "I am doing the crossword in...
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McMouse
For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he said he would pay her...
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McMouse
Blue Tits have fledged, runner beans and tomatoes have flowers on them, pear apple and cherry trees all in fruit, Mrs McMouse is cutting the grass.
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McMouse
A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door. It is opened by a little ten year-old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other, and a Penthouse magazine...
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McMouse
For tea drinkers who take milk when should it go in the cup? After the tea or before?
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McMouse
All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether admission will be granted. One room has a clerk who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on...
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McMouse
Mrs McMouse is away for the day. I'm working on a list of 5 jobs I'm not going to do. Top of my list is not running the vacuum round. Any other suggestions?
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McMouse
"Have you ever seen Twenty Pounds all crumpled up?"...the woman asked her husband. "No"...said her husband. She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse...and...
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McMouse
Mrs McM asked me if I wanted lunch.
I enquired what the choices were.
She answered "Yes or No"...
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McMouse
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren....
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McMouse
get a Knighthood?
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McMouse
What's happening? Has he been to court?
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McMouse
Bin men just emptied my wheelie-bin and I went to bring it back to the house. As I walked back down the drive the Postman followed me and I said "good morning" and held out my hand for the letters. He...
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McMouse
On the morning that Summer Time ended I stopped by to visit my ageing friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're...
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McMouse
A man goes into Waterstones and asks the young lady assistant, "Do you have the new book out for men with short penises?" She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet." "That's the one; I'll take a...
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McMouse
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics. Finally I thought about an...
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