Why Does Nobody In A Soap Opera.........

[Smowball]

...... Have a washing machine??

How can they afford to drink in the pub every night?
Why do they have lunch in the cafe when they live 100 metres away?
Why does every character have every other character in their mobile phone- even ones they don't talk to?

Feel free to add your own... ( and yes I know it's not real! Just a bit of fun lol)

[silliemillie]

Why do they always assume that someone knocking on the door is a member of their family who has "forgot their key". They never think it could actually be a genuine visiter.

[elliemay1]

Like Ken at 20.58, it's the ear-wigging that gets me. There's always someone lurking outside a door or looking through a window. Also, when two people hug, one of them invariably stares into the distance with a solemn look.

[andy-hughes]

Ah yes – the analysis of soaps, whereupon they collapse like wobbly scenery.

I have made a bit of a study of this myself, and I have a few new ones to add to the standard washing machine / always in the pub / everyone having a go at working in the pub / café / shop etc.

Try these for size –

Why does no-one ever cough, sneeze fart, say ‘Errrr …’, walk into a room and forget what they came in for, loose anything, tell a joke, comment about football / politics / news, eat or drink anywhere outside their neighbourhood, have friends round to watch a film, finish a meal, and finally – if life with such a large proportion of such vile people in such a small space is so intolerable – why doesn’t everyone move out!!!!

[Unsureme]

What happened to the car Steve bought and spent a fortune on? How does Tracy Barlow's Flower Shop stay in business? At Sharif's barbecue last week how was it raining at the front door and glorious sunshine in the back-garden? I must get out more!!!

[Jackdaw33]

...and don't get me started on stuffing dead bodies in wheelie bins then burying them under the factory floor.

[Zacs-Master]

LOL at all the eejits who thought this was an invitation to criticise EE rather than a joke. Jeez.

[puzzled54]

And why are there so many surprise pregnancies?

[lankeela]

Why do they set up romantic meals with candles then the other half never shows up? Why do none of the kids we see growing up ever take a driving test yet they can all drive? Why does anyone who is homeless get invited to stay with the first person they speak to? Why are they suddenly 'best friends' with people they didn't know a few weeks before?

[Jackdaw33]

Why is Audrey only eight years older than her daughter, Gail?

[EDDIE51]

How does a tiny village in a remote part of the country have a 'knicker factory' where all the local women are employed but do nothing but gossip all day?

[tinkerbell23]

Not many ice cream vans!?

They always say something rude or cheeky then apologise instantly!!

And when doctors deliver bad news they always say sorry and walk straight off..... X

[Mamyalynne]

I think I'm getting the hang of this now ....

An ideal Soap would be to watch someone cook their own breakfast then put the washing on , watch some daytime TV and chat about politics,religion and out of date by weeks sport over a home cooked lunch.

Bore us by poring over travel brochures for weeks about where to go on holiday and watch them trawl web sites for best flight deals.

A few mates round for a film,fart and belch - then bed.

I'd be gripped.

[Jackdaw33]

Why does Gail look like ET?

[magicmick]

There is never any one with the same Christian name? The simple reason if anyone says Ken,or Sally, you know who they are talking about. Also I saw the other night Sally's husband give Roy a £20 note and he got no change.

[shoota]

Why does nobody in a soap opera have a big gun and kill their own Sunday lunch?

[wiltsman]

Eddie - I think you're referrng to the sweet factory in Emmerdale. The knicker factory is in Coronation Street.

[magicmick]

Also I live on a average Street in Lancashire, we have no corner shops, no flower shop, no taxi firm, no garage, no bistro, no builders yard, no pub, no bus stop, oh no ladies hairdressers, no cafe, no knicker factory, just houses where people actually live.

[petal54]

do they watch soap operas

[Smowball]

Why does nobody in EE watch Corrie??

[albaqwerty]

^^ and vice versa :-)