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Chipchopper | 22:56 Tue 19th Jan 2016 | Jokes
20 Answers
Thieves got away with the days takings from a barbers shop in the town of Ilkley today.


Police have been combing the area.
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A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked: "How long before I can get a haircut?".

The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said: "About 2 hours." The guy left.

A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked: "How long before I can get a haircut?".

The barber looked around at the shop and said: "About 3 hours." The guy left.

A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked: "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around the shop and said: "About an hour only."

The guy left. The barber turned to a friend and said: "Hey, Bill, do me a favour. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back".

A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asked: "So where does that guy go when he leaves?"

Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said: "To your wife!"
Have you got a clipping?
Question Author
That beats mine DT :-)
Question Author
They've now changed the locks.
There'll be hell toupee
Fringe benefits?
Well the barber can wave that goodbye.
Was a close shave though
Well he can 'permanently wave' her goodbye
Never been to Seville
Are the Sweeney on the case yet.
Did the robber say parting is such sweet sorrow
As long as they don't give this crime the brush off.


A barber runs out of his shop and down to the nearest corner where a policeman is standing.

"Officer," he asks, "have you seen a man run by here in the last few minutes?"

"No, I haven't. What's the problem?"

"The lousy cheat ran out of my shop without paying me!"

"Does this fellow have any distinguishing features?" the officer asked.

"Well, yes," the barber replies. "He's carrying one of his ears in his left hand."
Question Author
He was last seen balding the ferry.
There is no justice, the police will let him off with a good wigging.
The ferry isn't running because there has been a crew cut.
Glad you highlighted that marvel, if this carrys on we will need an extension.
The thieves were listening to The Scissor Sisters.
I think I am going to comb over there and give you a Croydon Face lift.
There's a good one in related posts..............

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