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TheDevil | 16:31 Fri 17th Jan 2020 | Society & Culture
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If someone ask'd you how you are and then totally ignores your response, then did they really ask?
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I would assume for most people a 'How are you' is no more than a 'Hello' and that a person would not expect a reply other than 'OK how are you?'

I'd be a bit miffed if was the doctor though......
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I understand the "you alright?" is a common form of hello, and will often be met with a returning "you alright" or a "hello" or a "fine thanks, you?" but I am taking about people specifically asking you about your mental state of mind, and if you are OK or not, rather than a greeting.
When someone responds with 'Fine thanks', instead of telling you they hate their job, are depressed about their failing marriage, and have got a really irritating rash on their genitals, did they really answer?
Social etiquette.
I've been better!
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Well, someone saying "fine thanks" gives off certain implications such as, all is as usual or, if i'm not fine i'm not talking about it.

If someone said fine thanks and you ignored this, then that lack of communication is communicating that you don't feel you want or need to respond to how they are.
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I hope you are OK Davebro, if you could be better I hope you also could be worse!

david small, yes it is all etiquette. I sometimes find that sometimes etiquette is long forgotten.
if I haven't saw someone for a long while and bump into them then I would say Hi How are you doing and expect them to tell me , not ignore me
Yes they really asked. Asking a question and listening to the answer are different activities.

And since you asked (in the title) rather peed off and having a spiced rum to try to relax. May have a merlot in a little while.
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Oh O_G sorry to hear you're peeved. I prefer bacardi meself.
If, by their tone and demeanour I knew they really wanted to know I'd respond - otherwise it's usually 'Plodding on as normal,how about you?"
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What if the communication was via online or txt rather than spoken word?
Sadly, there are lots of people in certain places who conduct themselves according to formulae which they think will make them appear interested, sympathetic, friendly, nice, etc., etc. As a result they say and do things according to the formula supposedly applicable to the circumstances facing them and once they have done that they have (mentally) ticked the box, job done, "duty" performed - on to the next task. I regard it as behaviour inviting insult, but mostly I just feel pity for such foolishness.
it's just a courtesy for many, some have no clue if you respond in the negative.
Is the online communication from someone I know TD?

Are you planning to challenge most answers?
My Mum asks if I'm OK and no matter what i say, she's worse!

If i say i have a pain in my big toe, she has a pain in her whole foot, Ha Ha!
Question Author
"Is the online communication from someone I know TD?"

Yes, mamy.

"they say and do things according to the formula supposedly applicable to the circumstances"

Are you able to elaborate Ken?

I am unsure if you're implying that being asked how I am is customary when it shouldn't be or if you're implying my response to the question justified a further response.
From someone I know, then I would be open about how I am.
The Devil's Friend: Hi how are you? are you ok?
The Devil: Well actually …………..( fill in diatribe as required)
The Devils Friend: Nice weather we're having for January!

Nah...that would never happen face to face but quite easily messaging or text, its called ghosting isn't it? Or just plain ignoring...

As for your OP 'then did they really ask? of course they asked, they asked how you were and you told them, then they ignored you.
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"its called ghosting isn't it? Or just plain ignoring"

Yes

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