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marval | 21:41 Thu 03rd Apr 2014 | Jokes
6 Answers
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for "cherrypickers" and "cheesemongers"?

Contestant: Homosexuals.

Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.


BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.

Theakston: There's a clue in the title.

Contestant: Leicester.


PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant: Er. . .

Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .

Contestant: Blimey?


Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .


Contestant: (Silence.)


Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .


Contestant: Walked?


BBC NORFOLK

Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: I don't know.

White: I'll give you some clues. What do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant: Arm.

White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're . .?

Contestant: Strong.

White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

Contestant: Louis.

White: Well, there we are then. So, who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: Frank Sinatra?


LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)

Alex Trelinski: What's the capital of Italy?

Contestant: France.

Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.

Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.

Trelinski: Just guess a country then.

Contestant: Paris.


THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: Prison or the Conservative Party?

Contestant: The Conservative Party.


BEACON RADIO, Wolverhampton

DJ Mark: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

Contestant: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?


UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?

Contestant: Goosey?


GWR FM, Bristol

Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?

Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.


RTE RADIO 2FM, Ireland

Presenter: What is the name of the long-running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The. .?

Caller: Mohicans.


RICHARD AND JUDY (C4))

Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

A: Forrest Gump.


LINCS FM PHONE-IN

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant: Barcelona.

Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant: I'm sorry; I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.


NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Q: What is the world's largest continent?

A: The Pacific


RICHARD AND JUDY (C4))

Presenter: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

Contestant: Er. . .

Presenter: He makes bread. . .

Contestant: Err...

Presenter: He makes cakes . .

Contestant: Kipling Street?


THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant: Magna Carta?


BREAKFAST SHOW (RADIO 1)

Chris Moyles: Which 's' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?

Contestant: Ummm. . .

Moyles: It begins with 's' and rhymes with 'perm'.

Contestant: Shark.


JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant: Well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth. . . er . . . Three?


CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)

Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?

Caller: Japan.

Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller: Er . . . Mexico?







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Never tire of reading them though!
One of my favourites and I can't recall the details, The Suez Canal connects the Red Sea to what other body of water? Answer, The Thames.
haha, brilliant, aren't they.
They are really funny. Thank you. I just shows what nerves can do to your brain.
Heard on local radio quiz...

"What was Hitler's first name?"
"Heil?"
What Shakespearean character said,"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow?"
The tempest?

Something like that, I heard.
Name a bird with a long neck
Answer: Naomi Campbell

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