Which of the goodly unGodly sent the Jehoves Witnesses to my door this morning?

[sandyRoe]

You may think it a great joke but it isn't really funny to have to stand and humour a couple of clearly deluded women.
I know I should have invited them in and explained that my faith was the true way but wasn't feeling up to it this morning.

[naomi24]

Ha ha! My dog would lick them into submission! :o)

[mikey4444]

Actually, I have just thought of another way to scare off religious nutters.

Answer door to them in the nude.

I did this once, but by mistake. I was just about to go in the shower, when the door bell went. Wrapping a rather inadequately proportioned towel around my nether regions, I opened the door. At almost the exact same second, aforementioned towel slipped its moorings.

It was at least a year before my electric meter was read again.

[naomi24]

Haaaaaaaaaaaa! What a shame it wasn't a JW!!! Crying here!!

[mazie]

Next time sandy tell them you're a Spiritualist. It works for me every time.

[Batexia]

Naomi:
I have to apologise – you are right.
I posted //So, I say to you as I said to Naomi – “don’t be presumptious and think you know more about me than I do!”// to Birdie but it was a typo on my part as it should have read,
So, I say to you as I said to Naomi – “don’t be presumptious “ and think you know more about me than I do!
Quotation marks in wrong place! LOL

//But as to God having sons before Jesus. Well, I am sorry to say this to you, but you are 100% wrong.//

I’m not.

Genesis 6.2.

‘that the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.’

Genesis 6.4

‘when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them,’//

These events took place After the creation of Jesus.

Birdie:
I assure you I am not angry. I am very happy with what I believe and I accept the fact that others have different beliefs and that is perfectly okay by me. I just don’t feel the need to have to tell you or anyone else every particular detail especially as it is not likely to affect you personally.

[naomi24]

Batexia, Thank you. Apology accepted.

//These events took place After the creation of Jesus.//

They did? How very interesting. I’ve studied the bible, but I must have missed the creation of Jesus. Could you give me the reference please? I’d like to look at that.

Your statement would indicate that you are a Jehovah’s Witness. Are you?

[LazyGun]

@Mikey - All good pieces of advice, and worth foilowing, although the last one may result in unwanted attention :)

[birdie1971]

Naomi - “... Goodlife, if you don't mind me asking, is English your first language? And if not, what is?...”

I believe that Goodlife's first language is gibberish. However, I too speak a little of that so as a public service to all and as a specific favour to Lazygun, I shall translate Goodlife's previous post.


Goodlife: “Yes your right lazy, of judgment day does sounds like a joke yet you read It, and I think your in a dream world.“

Translation: “No. You are quite wrong Mr Lazygun sir. The Day of Judgement is a very real thing indeed and is only disbelieved by idiots such as yourself and other idiotic non-believers. I feel sorry for you as you are deluding yourself that the God of the Jehovah Witnesses does not exist. You'll ultimately burn in hell for your sins and I shall enjoy watching it happen as I am unhealthily obsessed with the concept of Armageddon and enjoy the thought of people suffering eternal torture with no chance of a reprieve. All the best, Goodlife.”

I think that's about right.

[Jeza]

I just don't answer the door, To anyone. It's either a religious fanatic, a power company trying to get me to change my provider, or someone trying to sell me something that I don't want.

[naomi24]

Birdie, just one thing. Goodlife doesn't believe in hell and eternal torture. We sinners will just be dead and gone whilst he, together with all those who look forward to the destruction of the rest of us, will revel in their new Utopia here on earth for eternity. I think that's how it works. Happy days! ;o)

[LazyGun]

@Naomi and Birdie
Many thanks for your efforts in translating the goodlife dribble into something resembling an informative sentence :)

[naomi24]

You're welcome LG. Goodlife tells me his first language is Chinese, so in the circumstances I'm very happy to help. ;o)

[sandyRoe]

If we are not transmogrified on reaching paradise does that mean we might have to continue suffering sciatica and hemorrhoids forever?
That is, of course, assuming we already suffer from them here in this vale of tears

[jomifl]

Sandy, I believe that an effective cure for haemorrhoids is part of the benefits of visiting hell. Sciatica is cured in heaven by bending over backwards,.