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Me Or I?

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harryjones123 | 10:31 Tue 11th Dec 2012 | Phrases & Sayings
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I am hoping you can help me settle a dispute. Is the sentence, "Would you like to come to the cinema with Jenny and me?", correct or is it Jenny and I?
I am convinced it is the former but I have so far had the headmistress of my son's school and a professor of English from a notable university tell me that I am wrong...
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This is a fascinating example of a linguistic shibboleth in English society: teaching that using certain expressions defines you as well-bred, educated, etc etc.....so instead of having the confidence to think the language through, a knee-jerk reaction to 'me' whispers in the background that saying 'me' in this context is....well.....common. I get...
10:44 Tue 11th Dec 2012
Simple rule: remove the "Jenny and" and it should still make sense.

Therefore, it's "me".
I'm pretty convinced it's 'me' as it comes after 'with' and is thus indirect.

Leave out the 'Jenny and' - you wouldn't say 'with I', would you?
I was always taught - "you and me" is US, and "you and I" is WE. So it would be "... with Jenny and me"
I always remember Miss Paisley telling me this when I was five, after I had written that Charlie the lollipop man helped my friends and I across the road. She told me I was wrong and why, and I've never forgotten even though forty years have passed!
Would you like to come to the cinema with Jenny?
Would you like to come to the cinema with me?
Would you like to come to the cinema with I?
It's definitely "with me" - the test is to remove the "and" (i.e. you'd never say "come with I")
I always understood it was the latter, so in agreement with the headmistress I'm afraid :-)
It's "Jenny and me" - just think about it. Would you say "would you like to come to the cinema with I?" Of course not.

A professor of English from a notable university doesn't understand the difference between the nominative and accusative cases of personal pronouns? Good grief!
"I always understood it was the latter"

A lot of people make that mistake, and I'm pretty sure it comes about from careless correction of the opposite mistake. For example, a kid says "Me and jenny are going to the cinema", and someone corrects them "Jenny and I", without explaining why.

So:
I am going to the cinema
Jenny and I are going to the cinema.

Come to the cinema with me
Come to the cinema with Jenny and me.
would you like to come to the cinemas with me!


always use it as you ie would you like to come to the cinema with I just sounds so wrong
Whereas "Jenny and I went to the cinema" is also correct, i.e. in that case it's "I" not "me". The same rule applies: remove "Jenny and" and it should make sense.
This is a fascinating example of a linguistic shibboleth in English society: teaching that using certain expressions defines you as well-bred, educated, etc etc.....so instead of having the confidence to think the language through, a knee-jerk reaction to 'me' whispers in the background that saying 'me' in this context is....well.....common.
I get metal images of doilies, cakestands, prickly clothes and bakelite telephones just thinking about it. It's a me thing.
"Jenny and I went to the cinema" is different, as in that case "I" forms the subject of a verb. In fact "I" should only ever be used when it is the subject of a verb. Even in "stand alone" mode it is incorrect:
"There's no one else here: just Jenny and I" is wrong
The same applies to "we", "he", "she" and "they" also - you'd never say:
"There's no one else here: just Jenny and we" for example.

I;m staggered that a professor of English would not know this to be honest :-)
Do you think harryjones might be having us on about the professor? I does seem incredible.
... then there's the misuse of 'myself' as in Fred and myself went to the cinema. Drives me crackers!
jno jnr's English tutor at uni dedicted a mark from one of his essays because he wrote responsible instead of responsable.

So nothing surprises me about professors.
jno, your typo made me laugh! ^
[i] 'There's no one else here: just Jenny and I' is wrong [i]

No, that's correct. Most people would say 'Jenny and me', all the same. That's not so much the 'accusative me' as the 'emphatic me' - the way the French would say neither 'je' nor 'me' but 'moi'. It's because 'I' sounds a bit weak as the ending to a sentence and 'me' sounds stronger, which is a perfectly good reason for doing it. But purely in terms of grammar, 'I' is right.
deduce three marks from me, Tilly!
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Thank you wonderful people (well, most of you). I feel that the folk with 'me' as a preference back up their argument, however those who are opting for 'I' don't say why. Is there a reason why you think it is I? What is the purest source of reference for this? Is there an absolute authority we can turn to?
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I promise I am not having you all on about the English Professor however I must protect her identity as she is very nice. She told me I was wrong so charmingly. I asked a friend who is a copywriter and she was so distressed she had to go and lie down. Jno - I sympathise with you about jno junior's teacher (I really do) but what do you mean, it's I?

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