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Double-Entendres

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frugalfred | 09:30 Tue 22nd Oct 2013 | Jokes
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12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio:

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'



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Richie Benaud during the 1989 British Masters golf tournament: "Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to lick their balls on the greens." Brough Scott in the new stand at Doncaster race course: "My word, look at that magnificent erection." Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually...
11:30 Tue 22nd Oct 2013
Those have made my day. Thanks.
Liking them, fred.
-- answer removed --
Love them all
Richie Benaud during the 1989 British Masters golf tournament:
"Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to lick their balls on the greens."

Brough Scott in the new stand at Doncaster race course:
"My word, look at that magnificent erection."

Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said:
"They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."

Steve Leonard, talking about vegetation on Vets In The Wild, told Trude:
"There's something big growing between my legs."

Winning Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead:
"Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."

Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond:
"Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."
A girl I worked with came in one morning in fits of laughter, she'd been listening to Chris Tarrants morning show where a quiz was taking place,


CT 'Name a famous sports commentator'
Contestant: "Don't know"
CT: 'I'll give you a clue. It's something you put in your mouth and suck' (meaning Murray Mint, hint for Murray Walker!)
Contestant: 'Dickie Davies'

Lol

-- answer removed --
And the old favourite, "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey" Brian Johnston's commentary when Michael Holding of the West Indies was bowling to Peter Willey of England at The Oval, 1976.
'Juantorena opens his legs and shows his class'.

Can't remember who said it.
Brilliant! :-)
'Juantorena', attributed to David Coleman, of 'Colemanballs' fame, but was actually said by his colleague Ron Pickering.
Rofl fantastic !

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