Why are novelty records so successful

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A.� Novelty records are like Europop records, only more so. Everyone goes on holiday in the summer, hears the latest Euro hit, comes home and buys it, and by early September, that year's Euro smash is a hit in the UK. With novelty records, you don't need to go anywhere, the 'novelty' value will ensure that the record comes to you, more times than you'd ever dream possible!

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Q.� What makes a 'novelty' record

A.� There is a definite difference between a song, which is simply lightweight or quirky�- that definition includes most Europop singles, and one that sets out to be amusing and offbeat�- Afroman's Because I Got High is a perfect example. Here we have a man who puts together a song in his garage to amuse himself and a few friends, it finds its way onto the internet via Napster, and is even now on its way to making the top spot in 30-plus countries around the world. The fortunate fact about most novelty records that are successful is that they make so much money for the creative team behind that they rarely feel moved to attempt to repeat the concept; they just take the money and retire with it.

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Q.� Are novelty records a new idea

A.� Not really�- Dora Bryan was busy parodying a novelty hit�- All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth�- with her own inimitable All I Want For Christmas Is A Beatle, back in 1963. In fact, Christmas does seem to bring out the best / worst (depending on your viewpoint!) of the novelty singles.�Who can forget gems like I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas, and Nuttin' For Christmas, and even Elton John who forgot his position as writer of peerless pop tunes to offer the innocent public the reasonably forgettable Ho Ho Ho Who'd Be A Turkey At Christmas

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It does seem that the taste-bypass that periodically affects the record-buying public can always be given that extra boost when the festive season comes around�- and don't the record companies know it!

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Q.� Is it only one-off hit makers who do novelty records

A.� Not at all.�The Beatles had their moments with songs like Yellow Submarine, and Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da, although strictly speaking these are just quirky pop songs, rather than bona fide novelty records. People who make a respectable living in other areas of entertainment seem to be keen on the novelty market. Paul Hardcastle's thought-provoking Nineteen had any semblance of serious social comment utterly obliterated by impressionist Rory Bremner's��� Nineteen Not Out parody featuring his voice of cricket commentator Ritchie Benaud. Likewise comedian Harry Enfield has charted more than once with comedy songs, his Loadsamoney persona and his duet with Kathy Burke in their Kevin and Perry characters have graced a few record collections over the years. Billy Connolly earned the endless ire of country music fans with his intentional travesty of Tammy Wynette's D.I.V.O.R.C.E., and The Wurzels felt moved to 'redirect' Melanie's Brand New Key, including inevitable references to farm machinery and country folk's leisure pursuits.

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Q.� Novelty records are really just naff aren't they

A.� One man's naff is another man's nirvana, and thereby hangs the core of the novelty record success story. People who never buy records will often succumb to the novelty song�- if�57 million British residents�think a record is definitely bonfire material, but the other million buy it, that's a seriously large hit for that current novelty flavour of the month. Afroman is doubtless checking the validity of that statement even now.

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Q.� What about a Top Thirty of novelty hits

A.� Why not�-

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1.���� Mambo Italiano�- Rosemary Clooney

2.���� Christmas Alphabet�- Dickie Valentine�������

3.�����Hoots Mon�- Lord Rockingham's Eleven

4.���� Running Bear - Johnny Preston

5.�����Lily The Pink�- Scaffold

6.���� Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da�- Marmalade

7.�����Two Little Boys�- Rolf Harris

8.���� Wand'rin Star�- Lee Marvin

9.�����Grandad�- Clive Dunn

10.���Ernie�- Bennie Hill

11.���Mouldy Old Dough�- Lieutenant Pigeon

12.���My Ding-A-Ling�- Chuck Berry

13.�� Long Haired Lover From Liverpool� -

������� �Little Jimmy Osmond

14.���The Streak�- Ray Stevens

15.���If - Telly Savalas

16.����Whispering Grass�-

�������� �Windsor Davies and Don Estelle

17.����Matchstalk Men And Matchstalk Cats And Dogs -��������� Brian And Michael

18.����There's No-one Quite Like Grandma�-

��������� St Winifred's School Choir

19.��� Shaddap You Face�- Joe Dolce Magic Theatre

20.����The Chicken Song�- Spitting Image

21.����Star Trekkin'� - The Firm

22.����That's What I Like�-

��������� Jive Bunny And The Mastermixers

23.��� Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini�-��������� Bombalurina

24.��� The Stonk�- Hale And Pace

25.����Mr Blobby�- Mr Blobby

26.����Doop�- Doop

27.����Teletubbies Say Eh-Oh!�- Teletubbies

28.����Chocolate Salty Balls�- Chef

29.����Everybody�s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)�-

����������Baz Luhrmann

30.�����Because I Got High - Afroman������

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and in case you were wondering about the power of the novelty single�- every one of these records reached Number One!

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By� Andy Hughes