Bitter separation - help required

[tequilamock]

Hi all, and thanks for reading. My friend is going through a very bitter separation. (we're based in Scotland btw). His wife left him after meeting a new man and moved in with him after 2 weeks (taking their 3 year old daughter with her). My friend - who has been incredibly kind and understanding throughout this all, received a horrific letter from his wife's solicitor which was just full of absolute lies!

What should he do next...? I know if he gets a lawyer, this could all get very expensive and he just wants to move on now, but MUST have contact with his wee girl. He's met a new lady and he could be happy, but this letter has really set him back.

I don't understand how solicitors can just accept what someone tells them when they first visit! I mean, they weren't there!

Should he ask his lawyer to return the letter as slanderous rubbish, or does he have to respond to every lie she has told, line by line...

Thanks

[boxtops]

I am no expert in Scottish law, but he should get his solicitor to present his side of the story, factually, to set the record straight. It is only when both sides of the story are known that any judge can make a decision about the future of the little girl.

[woofgang]

he has to be able to DISPROVE every lie...a this is untrue response is not enough

[bednobs]

solicitors are paid by the person that engages them, so they write whatever that person wants them to. It's really impossible to answer your question without knowing more facts, so my advice would be for your friend to see a solicitor to work out how to go forward, but get a list of prices first

[tequilamock]

How can someone disprove something if there were no witnesses..? He has learned his lesson and will always ensure that someone else is always present now.

Should he take out an injunction against her? To ensure that she is not able to make up such stories in the future?

[tequilamock]

Could he 'do' her for defamation of character?

[tequilamock]

Ignore my last question...Apparently, in order to be defamatory, it has to have been said to a third party, not just directly to the person involved (by letter or phone)

[bednobs]

again i don't really understand - an injunjtion will not prevent the wife from saying whatever she likes.

[tequilamock]

Yes, but would an injunction (say, one stating that she must not come within a certain radius of him) ensure that she is kept at arm's length..?

[vistabarca]

I would advise you to tell your friend to seek legal advice with a family/divorce solicitors asap.If not affordable then citizens advice bureau.

I think he should prioritise having acces to his daughter via the family courts.It seems that by mutual agreement seems out of the question.

Secondly, he should not be too concerned about the allegations made by his wife in the letter from her solicitor unless they are true of course. Words with no substance mean nothing.
At all times he should keep detailed notes of any conversations, communications he and his wife or solicitors have(date, time,subject etc)This will eventually be in his favour if they ever get to court and he has to prove or dis prove any allegations.

Most importantly he must keep himself in a good light as to his character and how he deals with his wife and daughter in private or in public.

Good luck!!

[woofgang]

are you saying that she has said that he hit her? An injunction stopping her from approaching him would not stop he alleging that he approached her!

[tequilamock]

Thanks everyone. I still think persuing an injunction saying she has to stay 20ft away would be a good move...

[bednobs]

how will he ever see the 3 year old if they can't get within 20 feet of each other?

[TWR]

Hi, I would ask her to prove it! ask your friend to seek people that know him well, Football mates, pub mates, female friends etc, some males keep their feeling well within & cannot stand up for themselves when dealt with this sht, as said, solicitors can put words in the mouths of their paying customers it's up to you mate to prove them wrong.