Quizzes & Puzzles6 mins ago
Abortion..
66 Answers
Hello. A few weeks ago i was getting strange pains and generally decided something was up, i took 3 tests and all came back positive but very faintly. I decided be ause of the pains to go to my walk in centre at a&e and was told i wasnt pregnant. However i still hadnt started my period so decided to go to my gp (thank god!) and i was. Myself and the babys father have been together over a year, im 21 and he is 23. Both living at home and he works at said hospital whereas i currently dont have a job (left previous work looking for new place). I told my parents straight away, my dad was sensible and said the time isnt right for me and i cant support a child whereas my mam is more maternal and saw the other side to it. I have friends who have kids all of whom are single mothers and i see they manage okay. Myself and the babies father have a very turbulent relationship and we dont have a current stanle environment for a child so we made the decision to abort. I had the first pill today and go back monday to complete the process. I guess im looking for some comfort. I feel very emotional. Its my baby and i wonder if its a girl or a boy, wonder what they wouldve looked like etc and it kakes me feel upset. I dont know what im going to go through and whether i may see the foetus on monday but i just feel so guilty already. I have a very good home environmemt and know the baby wouldve been loved so im struggling with my decision, although i know at this point its too late. Has anybody else been through this and can offer guidance?
Answers
Rhian - it's a difficult time for you and you have very bravely made yourself the recipient of other people's (often extreme) opinions. I suggest you face forwards now. Perhaps one way to do this is to take time to re-evaluate how you have become entangled with someone who you clearly think is unsuitable as a long term partner or father. Be good to yourself and...
17:11 Sat 20th Sep 2014
Jennyjoan - he came with me to the hospital today and waited, i went back to his house to rest and he ended up starting an argument (very paranoid person) and told me to leave, i told him to think about what im going through and he simply said 'i dont care'. He's coming with me on monday for the other pill and i tld the nurse (at the time we were okay) that he would be looking after me at home on monday. I really wish he wasnt. Campbellking, naomi, mamyalynne - thankyou for your comments, i felt very confused by my emotions but i guess i do need to let it make me stronger.
To those of you who say you'd absolutely not consider abortion I imagine your circumstances are different to mine, to put a spin on it - if you were 21, no real life experiences, no job therefore no money, no father involvement for the baby, living with parents who yourself and the baby would be a burden to, would you still 100% go through with it?
Mamyalynne - I respect that despite any circumstance you'd have a child. I believe a lot of people do exactly the same despite their circumstances - for me, I never wanted a child to bring up by myself and so young when I want to see the world and get a good career before I settle down and have always felt that way before this happened. It was an accident and one which I'll be so cautious as to not repeat. It's something I'll never forget but the comments from some of you have really helped and I'll do my best to stay strong on Monday. Thankyou for your input :)
Rhian, the emotional feelings you are experiencing are normal. The guilt feelings are also normal and you will experience them in the future. From Cloverjo's post "You have made the right decision for your circumstances. You are suffering now, but it will be ok." thats true! But "I have friends who have had abortions at a similar age and circumstance to you, and as far as I know they have no regrets.", I wouldn't agree with the "no regrets" bit! I went through this 22 years ago this month and I still get emotional at times. The guilt is with me all the time, and there are times, quite a lot, I do regret what I done. Ask at your GP Practice for Counselling. Good luck, and as has been said, you are making the right decision.
Hello puzzled54, thankyou for asking, the process itself is certainly not for the faint hearted - incredibly stressful and painful and i have followed the neccessary steps to ensure this doesnt happen again. I can wholeheartedly say i would never have an abortion again but feel a lot happier in myself and ready to move on with life :)