North Yorkshire Land Grab After Norwegian Government Lease Ends

The shocked people of North Yorkshire have become part of a modern free-for-all land grab the like which has not been seen since Oklahoma in the days of the old Wild West.

The Norwegian Government has held a sovereign lease on significant parts of the North Yorkshire Moors since 1884 when the British Government sorely needed money to help rebuild Colchester after the Great Earthquake which was estimated to measure 4.6 on the Richter scale.

Norwegian Minister Jon Anderssen Vik commented that as no Norwegian investment had been injected into the North Yorkshire Moors it was time to move on:

“Our legal papers of title were lost during the German occupation of Norway in the 1940s and were only recently rediscovered. At this point in European history given Norway is not an EU country it was felt it would be unwise to enforce possession and the developments needed by this relatively poor area of England.”

Therefore all non-commercial land will be available to those who wish to claim it. The land may be claimed in the traditional Quarter Lot blocks which amount to 160 acres. The scheme is being run on a purely first-come-first-serve basis and is available to men and women over the age of 43.

The Minister continues:

“We have set up an embassy in Rosedale Abbey for easy access for anyone in North Yorkshire. All that is required is to select your plot of land and prove your identity with 3 forms of proof. Once signed-up for dual British-Norwegian nationality and your allegiance has been sworn to King Harald V the land is yours following payment of a 380 Krone fee which is roughly £36.”

When questioned why the land was being given back in this way the Minister concluded:

“We looked at the state of the Moors and decided we couldn’t even sell it, not even to an Englishman. As the lease pre-dates many conventions of the new Europe it felt only fitting to hand back the land in this way to local people.”

There are further bonuses for the lucky few who manage to get their hands on these prize pieces of the north Yorkshire Moors.

The Minister:

“Because of the complicated way our 150 year lease works all planning permission requests need to be sent to Oslo and will still to be governed by Norwegian planning laws until 2034. This may seem restrictive to those who want to build on the moors but our planning offices are known for their efficiency, we have granted planning permission for several car-parks and two blocks of 32 holiday apartments. In total there are 1760 Quarter Lot blocks which can be claimed of which 12 will be retained for religious groups.”

Barry White, a solicitor from Thirkleby, High and Osgodby’s in Skipton concludes:

“This is good news for everyone; there has been a lot of worry about a non-EU power such as Norway having control of such a large chunk of England. There were also fears that the offer would only extend to those in the surrounding areas of the North Yorkshire Moors, but the Norwegian government has been very democratic and allowed anyone from the whole of the country to claim their slice of Britain.” 

A guide to Rosedale Abbey can be found here: http://www.enjoyengland.com/destinations/find/yorkshire/north-yorkshire/rosedale-abbey.aspx