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Mail order brides

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ploughman | 17:42 Thu 02nd Feb 2006 | People & Places
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On account of my dear wife of 30 years suddenly refusing to make soldiers to dip into my soft boiled eggs, Ive decided to divorce her and go for a Thai bride. However I dont much fancy Ting Tong off Little Britain and wonder if Thais are the best bet. Has anyone any experience of mail order brides? Everyone says how loyal and faithful they all are in comparison to British women. Do they all want to bring their mothers and sisters into the country once they've settled in?
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You need to know if she or her mother are going to carry on making your soldiers
After 30 years of marriage you deserve a bit of happiness.Don't do it again!

Letter to Viz:


I am married to a Taiwanese lady, and people often ask me if she was a mail-order bride. I find this very insensitive. The Royal Mail lose around 2 million letters and parcels each year, and to suggest that I would trust the delivery of my wife to them is insulting in the extreme. She was sent by DHL next day delivery.
L Palmer, London

Look at the overall picture. This really is one of the less serious cases of wives getting into trouble with soldiers.


.....BOGOF ???


...sorry folks..just a thought, ...sorry a dream lol

Mail order brides eh?So, do they come flat packed? With screws missing.


I would imagine any wife is only as loyal as her husband anyway....!

What about keeping the wife and let her do the eggs, then get the Thai bride to do your soldiers while you s**g her sisters then get the mum to run your bath.


It works ok in our house !

Perhaps she's using the soldiers to battle elsewhere.
Question Author
I feel that some of the replies to my plight have been made in a manner suggestive of levity. I refuse to consume boiled eggs without soldiers and my solicitor has confirmed that this is indeed 'unreasonable behaviour' and is sufficient grounds for divorce. While Ting Tong Macadengdeng may not be every mans choice, Im sure she wouldnt mind making soldiers of my Mothers Pride.

What are you on ploughman ? you should leave them farmers fields alone !!


Can you still find those mushrooms ?


Happy Days.

Why don't you make your own soldiers Ploughman, and make some for your dear wife as well! Breakfast in bed with a nice rose on a tray would be a surprise for her. You know you want to do it............go on! Anyrate would a Thai bride understand what a soldier is?
<XMP> </XMP>

In Thailand soldiers are mostly known simply as GIs. Any decent Thai bride would let you dip your GI twotime longtime.


You shouldn�t really enter into a Thai bride/boiled egg relationship without seeing the rather excellent documentary about the English woman who went to Thailand to let the King of (what was then) Siam dip his bread into her yolk. The film was called �The Kingsmill and I� and is a moving tale. Unfortunately she contracted a disease from the act and died of Siamonella poisoning.

My hubby to be has a great big fat tw*t of an uncle who went "on holiday" (yeh, right) to Thailand, met a lay-deee and then brought her back and married her. She now stomps around the house yelling "*****, you sooo fat! All day, eat eat eat. Not like Thaiwand people nar gweedy like dat".


Every time I see him I am absolutely dying to ask him details about where they "met" (edition, page number, etc) but fella won't let me. Heck, in 5 weeks we'll be married I'll do it then and get back to you!

The "kingsmill and I" that was very funny glossop.


And I thought this was a serious topic !!

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