Quickies

[retrocop]

Quickies





I bought some 'Jamie Oliver Sausages' yesterday. On the packet it said 'Prick with a fork'…. I thought, can't argue with that!

When cooking Alphabet Soup, don't leave it unattended, it could spell disaster.

I had a row with my wife last night, she threw a bottle of fabric conditioner at me and it only just missed my head. It must have been Lenor because it was a bit too close for Comfort.

Then she said, "Can we make love like Elvis" and I said " What, 'A little less conversation and a little more action'?"

I love that new Korean vegetarian snack pot. Not Poodle.

My mate makes crockery disappear. I said are you a wizard? He said no I'm a saucerer.

If sex with two people is called a twosome and sex involving three people is called a threesome now I understand why they call me handsome!

Whoever stole my trainers whilst I was on the bouncy castle, just grow up!

Just bought an ABBA toilet....What a loo!

I’ve swapped our bed for a trampoline. My wife hit the roof!

A man saved his girlfriend's phone number on his mobile as “Battery Low”. Whenever she calls him in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the charger!

Two Thai girls asked me if I’d like to go bed with them; they said it would be just like winning Lotto! I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped off, and to my horror, we had six matching balls!

[Chipchopper]

Wow, thanks all!
And thanks for the jokes Retro, an added bonus!