Don't try this at home
A lobbyist on his way home from working in Parliament came to a stop in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic jam seems worse than usual."
Then he noticed a police officer walking between the lines of stopped cars so he rolled down his window and asked, "Officer, what's the holdup?"
The officer replied, "The Prime Minister is depressed, so he stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with gasoline and set himself on fire. He says no one believes his stories about why he bottled out of the election, or that he was planning his inheritance tax cut all along. So we're taking up a collection for him."
The lobbyist asked, "How much have you got so far?"
The officer replied, "About forty gallons, but a lot of people are still siphoning."