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Employment jokes.

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carrust | 21:42 Fri 27th Jul 2007 | Jokes
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I wanted to be a baker, but they didn't have a roll for me.
I wanted to be a printer, but I was afraid of being typecast.
I wanted to be a plumber, but it was just a pipe dream.

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I wanted to be a doctor but I didn't have the patience.
I wanted to be a diesel fitter, so they sent me down to the market selling ladies slippers, shouting "diesel fitter-diesel fitter"
I wanted to be a plastic surgeon, but I was'nt flexible enough.

I wanted to be a handyman.
They said "can you change light bulbs, mend fuses, and do carpentry work"?
I said, well no not really.
They said " so why did you apply for this Job" ?
I said, well I just live around the corner.
I wanted to be a cosmonaut, but friends said my ambitions were a bit other-worldy
I wanted to be a rapper but only got work at Christmas.
I went to apply for a job as a snooker player but the queue was too long.
I was a professional surfer but I got board......
I wanted to be a lighting technician but wasn't bright enough...
However I got a job as a steam train driver - boy was I chuffed!
I wanted to be a lawyer, but I can never pass a bar.
I wanted to be a butcher but I couldn't hack it.
I wanted to be a football coah but I couldn't manage it.
I wanted to be a raver but I couldn't "DEAL WITH IT!" (for big brother fans!)
I wanted to be a Viagra saleman, but I couldn't rise to the challange.

i wanted to be an astronant but not prepred to travel
wanted to be a butcher but hadn't any guts
I tried working on a burger van but dint cut the mustard.
I worked in a spanner and pliers factory but never got to grips.
Was a human cannonball and got fired.
Postman then Department store santa and got the sack in both of those.
Shoe salesman and got the boot.
Optician but never saw eye to eye with the manager.
Hot air balloon specialist,until me and the boss fell out.
Bus inspector =, but never got on with anybody.
I now work in milinery, well if the cap fits.
Nearly got a job at underware cleaning company but found out they were on the skids.
My brother makes rungs for ladders, well its a step in the right direction.
I was offered a job at the sewage farm paying �130 pph, until i found out about all of the crap you have to deal with.
Question Author
6 stars texol. Funny you should mention sewage farms, by coincidence I used to work in one. The work was very boring, in the end I left as I was just going through the motions!!
My parents wanted me to be a printer but I didn't want to get typecast.
I wanted to be a peadeatrician, but my freinds thought it was childish.
I wanted to be a radiographer, but I saw right through it.
I wanted to be a baker, coz they make lots of dough.
I wanted to be a one-armed milkmaid, but it was no yoke.

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