I used to be a Hooker by the docks

[Zacs-Master]

But I'd had enough of seamen.

[ELVIS68]

You caught crabs

[Cruciformist]

She was only the admiral's daughter, but her naval base was full of discharged seamen.

[Zacs-Master]

I used to work flat out, I'll have you know.

[stewey]

This thread is going to become very nautical.

[Zacs-Master]

I was once rewarded with a Cockatoo.

[DTCwordfan]

.....then I snatched my new opportunity as a lesbian call girl.

[Zacs-Master]

The submariners always wanted me to go down.

[Cruciformist]

What was the quay to your problems?

[ELVIS68]

Thar she blows!

[magicmick]

What's brown, steams, and comes out of cowes backwards?

The Isle of White ferry

[owdhamer]

Did you ever see the golden rivet.

[Cruciformist]

There's always a lot of screws going in the docks...

[Canary42]

That Isle of Wight Ferry joke is no longer viable.

The two ferry companies now operating the route are RED Funnel and WIGHTlink, neither of which have any brown boats.

Also the modern ferries are bi-directional so there is no such thing as going backwards.

And finally, steam power went out years ago.


OK, I'll get my coat :)

[DTCwordfan]

O'Higgins lived on the Isle of Wight and worked on the mainland. He had to take the IoW ferry home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, So O'Higgins decided to stop at a nearby Irish pub. Before long he was feeling no pain.

When he got back to the ferry slip, the ferrywas just eight feet from the dock. O'Higgins, afraid of missing this one and being late for dinner with his Cowes hooker girlfriend, took a running leap and landed right on the deck of the boat.

"How did you like that jump, mate?" said a proud O'Higgins to a deck hand.

"It was great," said the crewman. "But why didn't you wait? We were just pulling in!

[owdhamer]

It was on the good ship venus, by god you should have seen us,

[EDDIE51]

She was only the bartenders daughter , but she pulled the wrong knob and got Stout.
She was only the pilots daughter, but she knew how to keep her cockpit clean

She was only the fishmongers daughter , but she lay on her back and said 'Fill it'
She was only the the garages owners daughter but she knew the smell of Benzole.

[tenrec]

She was only the welder's daughter, but she had acetalyne tits.

[parkie]

There once was a young lady from Tottenham
Had no manners or else she'd forgotten 'em
At tea at the vicar's
She took off her knickers
Because, she explained
She felt hot in 'em.