UNCLASSIFIED

[wildwood]

1. I was sitting watching Match of the Day when the Mrs came into the lounge and says "Fancy a shag Babe?"
I said, "After the rugby love"
She said, "You do realise that you can record it?"
I said, "Nice, you get the camcorder, I'll come upstairs when the footy finishes"


2. My girlfriend has just asked me how many women I've shagged.
I said, 'I really dont want to answer that love, you know I've had a past & I don't want to upset you!'
'C'mon' she said, 'I can handle it!'
So I had to sit there and count them all.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, you, 10, 11, 12.


3. My Wife asked me to go to the Doctors about my Erection problem, she wasn't pleased when I came back and gave her some Slimming Pills


4. I was at a wedding reception when the DJ announced all the married men out there go and stand by the person who makes your life worth living. The barman was crushed to death


5. My wife was in the bathroom for hours getting ready to go out when finally the door swung open and she said, "Honestly , do I look fat in this".
I replied, "Yes love, but to be fair, it's only a small bathroom".

[sunny-dave]

Good chortle at #1 ;+)

[albaqwerty]

a good chuckle at them all. Loved number 5.

[rockyracoon]

Very good, pinching that for FB friends.

[marval]

Love them