Onions

[Wharton]

Q What's the difference between onions and bagpipes?
A Nobody cries when you cut up bagpipes.

[baza]

like it.

[tenrec]

Ha ha.

[marval]

HaHa

[maggiebee]

Wi’ a hundred pipers an’ a', an’ a’,
Wi' a hundred pipers an’ a’, an’ a',
We'll up an' gie them a blaw,
Wi’ a hundred pipers an' a’, an’ a',
Oh! It’s owre the Border awa', awa'
It’s owre the Border awa', awa’
We'll on and we’ll march to Carlisle ha'
Wi' its yetts, its castell, an' a’, an' a’

Here's tae us, wha's like us, damned few, they're a' deid! Dinnae dare mess we' my bagpipes ye sassenachs!!

[tenrec]

Lovin it Mags!

[Wharton]

maggiebee, I'm a Scot who can actually play the pipes, it was only a wee bit of self-deprecation on my part (and plagiarism - it was in today's Herald Diary section). I'll gie them a blaw for you tonight when the neighbours have gone to bed!!

[maggiebee]

Thanks Wharton, am partial of a bit of pipe music now and again. Do you speak to your neighbours lol??

[Wharton]

maggiebee, when I was young and just learning to play the pipes, I was so good that the neighbours used to come round and throw bricks through the window, just so that they could hear me all the better!

[Wharton]

...and when you're older maggiebee I'll tell you a story about me and one of the Dagenham Girl Pipers. Hitler saw them before WW2 and said "I wish I had a band like that". He really must have been a total nutter. My story takes place long after the war, of course.

[MichaelZZ]

I always thought that a sign of good manners was someone who can play the bagpipes - but doesn't.

[HowardKennitby]

I find that I no longer cry when I cut up onions either. I can remember when I were a lad having tears streaming down my face as I chopped onions. They don't make things like they used to.

[Wharton]

Heard it before MichaelZZ but like it! - Best Answer