For one night only.......

[NoMercy]

I am going to be your agony aunt. Tell me your problems and your dilemmas and I will promise to impart wise words (as I am so often wont to do with a whiskey and fanta lemon in my hand).

Please address all your queries to Aunty Agness.

Don't say I didn't warn you............. :-)

[Chicklin,]

Aunt Agness, please elp me, I feel like chickin tonite.

[noway]

dear aunty angus,people peep picking on me cos i cant spmell

[Barmaid]

How long have you got NM?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[craft1948]

Aunt Agness please help me - I feel like a young man..............but I can't find one........

[NoMercy]

Chicklin - Avoid sauces in jars, as they are full of artificial additives. Lay some eggs and have a nice healthy omelette instead. Oh, and please keep me "abreast" of your problem. x

[Aotearoa]

Dear Aunty Agnes,

What advice can you give me about these strange nocturnal emissions.

[Chicklin,]

Aunty Agness I feel like a I am drawn to you. You guesed it, I am a pare of curtains. Whatdo I do?!

[crazycathy2]

Aunty Agness

Yesterday I was crazy but today I am green and crazy what will I be tomorrow?

[craft1948]

chicklin pull yourself together.....

[NoMercy]

noway - most of the people on cb carnt spelle. Don't take any notice. Concentrate on your strengths from this day forth, and a newer, more confident you will emerge.

BM - I have until midnight, and then I will turn into a pumpkin. x

Craft - Book yourself on a club 18-30. You're sure to meet someone on one of those. x

[bensmum]

Pull yourself together chicklin

[craft1948]

NoM - have you been doing this job long - I'm twice the bloody maximum age.......

[cazzz1975]

hi nomercy, I need to add more distance to my golf swing, what should I do?

[stompe]

Longer legs! Cazzz

[NoMercy]

Sorry folks, I am struggling to respond to queries whilst looking after the tall guy. I'm not what you would call a multi-tasker.

Aort - A standing order for Kleenex to clean up the emission would be a good place to start. And possibly a standing order with Tony and Guy to cut the hair on your hands.

CrazyCathy - How do you know you are crazy? You could possibly be the only one on here who is sane............;-)

[Barmaid]

OK, got a bloke, who is sodding off back to Spain. Do I

a) phone "plan a" (OH was actually "plan b", but I really liked him)
b) sit and cry into my Pinot
c) try and think of a way round the problem, given that he has just discovered he has a commitment phobia?!
d) Call joggerjayne and think about batting for the other side

My money is on plan a.

[noway]

thank u mo mercy,im stromger now,but not my spelling

[crazycathy2]

How do I know I'm not crazy?

What is crazy?

Now I am more crazier as I don't know

[NoMercy]

Cathy - If you are indeed Crazy, apply immediately to a paving company.

Cazz - export it to Australia. That should be ample distance.