What else can i do????

[confused]

Hi i have recently put posts about my ex partner assaulting me - he swears he didnt touch me and didnt have knife to me. The thing is im not actually sure what happend! Ive been over and over it thousand times but its still not clear! Ive spoke to IDVA and loads of other people but nobody seems interested! Im currently suffering from anxiety and depression so they are just saying its because of that that im confused but i can read my original statement before court - i dont think this is fair surly if im not clear what happend he can not be still charged!
Any advice would be great about what else i can do!

Thanks

[confused]

Yes i still love him and always will but this isnt about us getting back together its about doing whats rite! Im such a mess mentally at the moment, i cant remember totally what happend that nite the more i go over it and try to remember the more confused i get. For this reason i dont think it is fair for him to be convicted!
Yes there was soco photos, police statement and medical report for the injuries but im just not sure everything happend like i said. The thing is the night before i threatend to kill myself with the same knife!

[ummmm]

She wants him back Jenna....she was starting to make excuses in her other thread.

In her defence she has got 3 children 3 years and under.....which can stop you from seeing things straight.

[ummmm]

Confused....don't take this wrong but how do you cope with the kids?

[confused]

Thanks ummm - like i said its about doing whats rite thats all.

The kids are hard work yes but they not bad kids i sometimes struggle but lately ive really begun to appriciate them and to be honest i know i wouldnt be here if i didnt have them they have kept me going - knowing i have to get up every morning to see to them keeps me alive!
I am so lucky to have them just sometimes you forget what you have!

[Eve]

Are you struggling to cope in general?

No shame in admitting it if that is the case as it might be the first steps towards getting any extra help and support you might need to move towards a happier life for all of you.

It might help you see things a little clearer too if the load is lightened a bit?

[confused]

Yes im struggling but with my mental health problems - i am getting some help with that but its really hard to deal with on daily basis!
Like i said the kids although hard work they are great!

[ummmm]

I'm not saying in anyway that you are not looking after them properly. I just know from experience that when things start to get on top of you demanding kids can make you feel worse.

Do you get a break?

[confused]

They actually go to nursery 4 days week - im supposed to be going to college but i cant handle that at the moment - so trying to use the time to sort myself out but its not working but i guess it takes time!

[ummmm]

Are you seeing the counsellor?

[confused]

No not at the moment - im under specialist at hospital im seeing him tomorrow - he put me on antidepresents and wants me to 'be in a better place' before i have counselling.
They said i need to deal with my anxiety - learn to chill out a bit more etc .
Im trying but days are up and down!

[ummmm]

Do you know whats great? Swimming....you can't keep a thought in your head when you swim. It'll give your brain a break.

[confused]

Sounds good idea thanks mite have to try that but problem is im at my worst once kids have gone to bed and cant go swimming then unfortunatly!
Ex suggested going to gym - excercise supposed to help your head!

[ummmm]

Yes....and it releases 'feel good' hormones.

[ummmm]

Workout in the gym....a swim to wind down...3 kids to look after...you'll be shattered.

[cherrychapstick]

confused ,you have to get on with your life ,you are going to end up losing your children if you don't start getting on with it sorry if you don't want to hear this but it is true been there done it wore the t-shirt ,but got out before it got to far ,1st time i never done nothing just put it down to experience felt like it ws my fault that morning i got a phone call from my mum to say my gran had died that night was the 1st time my ex decided he was going to be a big man ,i was too in shock i tried to phone police when he had me on the kitchen table punching Sugar out of me he took my phone and smashed it off the wall and ripped house phone out the wall .....a few hours later he was fine we went to his mums and built a wardrobe together

[cherrychapstick]

.................the second time was a few months later when my brother and sil and my weans were in the house but that time i fought back and he came off worse but i still got him charged he ended up inside for the weekend then i started feeling sorry for him and wrote to the procurator fiscal and everything he did get off with what he done but only because he had never been in trouble with the police before ,after that we tried again i moved house and he moved in after a few weeks though it was back to normal and i couldn't take it anymore , i kicked him out and he went to stay at his brothers ...he hated it there and we started talking again he stayed in my house on the couch for about a month big mistake as he thought that meant i had forgiven him for all his crap so i had to ask him to leave eventually he went and stayed with his mum but stalked me and the kids constantly police warned him over and over again about it i got deep into depression as i couldnt go out the door without him knowing where i was i ended up taking an overdose but luckily my friend who was staying with me came down the stairs a caught me and took all the tablets out my mouth that is really scary thinking about it now what if that was my weans coming downstairs and finding me dead ,so please i beg you do not take him back he will never change and go see a doctor before it is too late think about your children you are better off staying apart don't let him ruin you and your childrens lives xxxxx

[confused]

Mite finally be able to get some sleep then! Only had half hour last nite and 2hrs nite before really struggling to sleep. Cant eat had half banana last few days!

[ummmm]

That's not going to help your state of mind. No food or sleep....

[confused]

cherrychapstick im sorry to hear of your troubles. I am under a specialist physc doc - just over month ago i took overdose and went for walk - ex rang police to find me and i was kept in hospital on mental health unit for a week. Im now on antidepresents but they actually making me worse and have daily visits and phone calls from crisis team, physc nurse and social services!
Im ok during day when im busy its at nite when kids gone to bed i cant stop thinking my head is spining and im still having thoughts of not wanting to be here especially at moment with everything going on but i keep going for my kids - i just wish i sort everything out and be happy again i hate feeling like this!

[sunsetter]

I was right he didn't put knife to your throat did he?