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lauram | 17:55 Wed 29th Sep 2004 | Parenting
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my daughter cryes every I put her in her crib what can I do to break up this habbit of picking her up everytine she cryes?
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You have to steel yourself! Make sure you feed her, change her and she is warm - all of which should induce sleep. When you put her down, if she cries, lean over the crib and stroke her face and speak softly to her. this will reassure that you are there (which is why she cries) and will not disturb her as much as picking her up. Stay near and move around the room a little so she can still hear and smell you (yes, she does recognise your individual smell)and eventually she will learn that you are not leaving her alone, and she will settle into sleep. if she does wake up, repeat the proceedure, and only pick her up if it fails - give her about three or fcour minutes before you pick her up, check she is dry and clean, give her a few minutes cuddle, and then put her pack down, repeating the procedure. She will get used to bed time, you just have to resist the very natrual urge to pick her up every time she cries - it's not good for either of you, and makes for problems as she gets older.
My daughter is one and recently started to go to bed alone, she cries, but we find that letting her cry for a set period of time to start, say 5 minutes, then go in, pick her up, tell her its bedtime in a soft voice, then replace her, leave her another five minutes, repeat the procedure and so on, as you repeat this procedure, leave her for a bit longer say 10 minutes, eventually she will go off to sleep. It takes some time and patience, but believe me its worth it! Also if you can find a teddy to tuck under her arm so she feels some sort of security when she goes off. My daughter now cries for a couple of minutes but she has her teddy and goes off eventually! Promise it will work, good luck!
There is a very good book that worked for us - The good sleep guide. See link to amazon for details http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0952958503/202-8010 606-1530206
This may sound a little harsh, but let her cry. We went through the same thing with my son when he was 8 months old and we tried a couple of different things such as going in every five minutes, but he got smart and knew we would come back in. One day we decided that we couldnt go in. The first night he cried for 3 hours, the second night for an hour and a half the third night we were down to 30 minutes and now he goes down without a sounds. It was tough, one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but it worked and I am glad we did it.
This is going to sound harsh also but I found that gently 'pumping' my daughters legs up and down used to make her stop crying at bedtime. I later found out that this helped release trapped wind (you can sometimes hear it as you are moving her legs!) and made her settle much better when lying on her back.

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