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Breaking News....I'm Pregnant!
Hello Everyone, Long time, no see!
Hope you're all well.
After weeks of vomiting, tiredness and a negative pregnancy test - a week or so ago i did another test with my boyfriend which came back positive.
*shock* *horror**confusion*
Came on here suggesting maybe i had a stomach flu of some sort - but was obviously wrong...
I've been to see my GP and need to make my decision this week - whether to terminate or not.
My mind had been going back and fourth...
My parents were shocked and upset - indirectly advised me to have an abortion - but said they'll support me either way.
If i did have an abortion it would break my boyfriend's heart...
I can see positives and negatives in both - but i'm a believer in fate - and being as this was an accident and not planned i think it may be one of those "meant-to-be" scenarios.
my main worry is that i currently live at home with my mum and brother - so i'd have to sort out the housing situation....and im also terrified of telling work! Although i know by law they have to give me maternity leave.
Me and my boyfriend both earn a respectable wage for our age (me 22 - him 25)so finances shouldnt be too much of a problem. I also don't doubt that we'll make good parents.
Any advice?
Opinions?
Thanks!
Nat xxx
Hope you're all well.
After weeks of vomiting, tiredness and a negative pregnancy test - a week or so ago i did another test with my boyfriend which came back positive.
*shock* *horror**confusion*
Came on here suggesting maybe i had a stomach flu of some sort - but was obviously wrong...
I've been to see my GP and need to make my decision this week - whether to terminate or not.
My mind had been going back and fourth...
My parents were shocked and upset - indirectly advised me to have an abortion - but said they'll support me either way.
If i did have an abortion it would break my boyfriend's heart...
I can see positives and negatives in both - but i'm a believer in fate - and being as this was an accident and not planned i think it may be one of those "meant-to-be" scenarios.
my main worry is that i currently live at home with my mum and brother - so i'd have to sort out the housing situation....and im also terrified of telling work! Although i know by law they have to give me maternity leave.
Me and my boyfriend both earn a respectable wage for our age (me 22 - him 25)so finances shouldnt be too much of a problem. I also don't doubt that we'll make good parents.
Any advice?
Opinions?
Thanks!
Nat xxx
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Hey Nat, I shant congratulate you as such as you seem very confused with the bombshell. I will send you hugs though as you are going to be facing a tough time until you know what you want to do.
Can i suggest this website that I use now Im a mum. It has many different boards and one which you may be interested in is the unplanned pregnancy board on http://messageboards.ivillage.co.uk/iv-ukpbsho ckpg
You will get many different responses but just remember that it is your body and your decision, you are the only one who has to go through either a pregnancy or a termination and no-one else has the right to tell you what to do. Of course they can explain their own feelings and should be allowed to but its your decision.
Id just like to add that my son was unplanned as my partner and I had only been seeing each other 3 months and lived 60 miles apart. Things looked scary at first but it worked out for us.
I hope you find a way through all this.
Best of luck
Can i suggest this website that I use now Im a mum. It has many different boards and one which you may be interested in is the unplanned pregnancy board on http://messageboards.ivillage.co.uk/iv-ukpbsho ckpg
You will get many different responses but just remember that it is your body and your decision, you are the only one who has to go through either a pregnancy or a termination and no-one else has the right to tell you what to do. Of course they can explain their own feelings and should be allowed to but its your decision.
Id just like to add that my son was unplanned as my partner and I had only been seeing each other 3 months and lived 60 miles apart. Things looked scary at first but it worked out for us.
I hope you find a way through all this.
Best of luck
awww thanks redcrx for the info and reassurance.
I'm already on another pregnancy/mother forum but will defintely check that one out too. I think its amazing how much help, support and advice you can find in forums.
Having a big chat with my parents tonight....
think i've pretty much decided that i'd like to keep this baby and try and make it work - think it deserves a chance.
Although its still reasonably early so nothings for sure yet...
Thanks for your wise words xxx
I'm already on another pregnancy/mother forum but will defintely check that one out too. I think its amazing how much help, support and advice you can find in forums.
Having a big chat with my parents tonight....
think i've pretty much decided that i'd like to keep this baby and try and make it work - think it deserves a chance.
Although its still reasonably early so nothings for sure yet...
Thanks for your wise words xxx
Awww nat congrats hon :-)
And I think you know whether you'll keep it or not, your mind's already made up isn't it? So we'll expect a special announcement in 8 or so months eh? ;-)
And honestly, no time is the right time to have a baby, there's always reasons why you shouldn't- but believe me, it's soooooooo worth it at the end.
Once again, congrats
xxxx
And I think you know whether you'll keep it or not, your mind's already made up isn't it? So we'll expect a special announcement in 8 or so months eh? ;-)
And honestly, no time is the right time to have a baby, there's always reasons why you shouldn't- but believe me, it's soooooooo worth it at the end.
Once again, congrats
xxxx
well good luck nat, the ivillage boards are great and you can always pop by any of the others and ask for advice at any time.
What i will say is, that the next 2-3 months can be exhausting both mentally and physically so just make sure that the decisions you make are well thought through.
You sound like youve got a good head on your shoulders and wont make any desicion lightly so thats a great start
x
What i will say is, that the next 2-3 months can be exhausting both mentally and physically so just make sure that the decisions you make are well thought through.
You sound like youve got a good head on your shoulders and wont make any desicion lightly so thats a great start
x
Hi Nat.
In 1967 I was 20, pregnant and unmarried, no living together then and no legal abortions, we got married knowing little about each other, in them days you had to marry more or less. If we get to Nov 07 we will celebrate our Ruby wedding anniversary, we have 2 children now grown up. OK life hasn't always been easy, we have been short of money, had to go without things but the joy our children have given us made it all worth while.
In my 30's I developed a cancer, the treatment left me unable to have anymore children, whilst in the hospital a young woman came in to have her womb removed due to cancer, she had no children and could never have any in the future.
Don't worry about your parents they will support you whatever your decision,even if your Mum does say she is too young to be a Granny!
Your choice is do you have a life now and children later or children first and a life after, whichever you choose make the decision yourself, don't let anybody force you into a decision you are not happy with, if your boss doesn't like the decision, tough, you have rights.
Make a list of the pros and cons, ignore all other viewpoints, go somewhere quiet, away if necessary, on your own and make your decision and stick to it, no matter what anyone says, it's your life you have to live with your decision and any emotional baggage that decision brings.
You can make the correct decision. Good Luck
In 1967 I was 20, pregnant and unmarried, no living together then and no legal abortions, we got married knowing little about each other, in them days you had to marry more or less. If we get to Nov 07 we will celebrate our Ruby wedding anniversary, we have 2 children now grown up. OK life hasn't always been easy, we have been short of money, had to go without things but the joy our children have given us made it all worth while.
In my 30's I developed a cancer, the treatment left me unable to have anymore children, whilst in the hospital a young woman came in to have her womb removed due to cancer, she had no children and could never have any in the future.
Don't worry about your parents they will support you whatever your decision,even if your Mum does say she is too young to be a Granny!
Your choice is do you have a life now and children later or children first and a life after, whichever you choose make the decision yourself, don't let anybody force you into a decision you are not happy with, if your boss doesn't like the decision, tough, you have rights.
Make a list of the pros and cons, ignore all other viewpoints, go somewhere quiet, away if necessary, on your own and make your decision and stick to it, no matter what anyone says, it's your life you have to live with your decision and any emotional baggage that decision brings.
You can make the correct decision. Good Luck
Thanks a lot girls - i can't even explain how grateful i am for your responses and stories. They really do help!!!
sandbach99 - ur post was really touching, thanks for sharing it...i'm sorry to hear about ur sad news and hope you make a full and speedy recovery! My thoughts are with you.
As we all know anything is possible in the future positives and more worringly negatives....which i think is why i don't want to possibly lose this opportunity and why i want to see it more as a gift rather than a burden.
Boo - so going by what i just said - yes you should be expecting an announcement in about 6 or 7 (!!) months!!
sandbach99 - ur post was really touching, thanks for sharing it...i'm sorry to hear about ur sad news and hope you make a full and speedy recovery! My thoughts are with you.
As we all know anything is possible in the future positives and more worringly negatives....which i think is why i don't want to possibly lose this opportunity and why i want to see it more as a gift rather than a burden.
Boo - so going by what i just said - yes you should be expecting an announcement in about 6 or 7 (!!) months!!
lol - oh gosh don't remind me re the aches and pains! That means you experienced mothers are going to have to advise me full on for the remaining 7 months! And probably about 2 years after that...then again when the child is a teenager....
I've already had the WORST morning sickness and i've also lost about 6 pounds - but read that this was nothing to worry about and that it was simply due to the nausea!
Also, read that it gets a lot better during "Second Trimester"...and then worst again during he "Third Trimester"...
My emotions are gonna be all over the shop!
I've already had the WORST morning sickness and i've also lost about 6 pounds - but read that this was nothing to worry about and that it was simply due to the nausea!
Also, read that it gets a lot better during "Second Trimester"...and then worst again during he "Third Trimester"...
My emotions are gonna be all over the shop!
I have to admit that i didnt get the morning sickness but apparently eating little and often is good for that. Also a cup of tea and a dry biscuit BEFORE you get out of bed in the morning can help.
How far gone are you? Have you booked in with a midwife yet? They will give you a book on pregnancy which is full of great info and is a godsend when worrying about twinges etc. I can also recommed a book for dads called 'blokes guide to pregnancy', maybe you could get your boyfriend it for xmas.
Just hope you dont make me feel broody :)
How far gone are you? Have you booked in with a midwife yet? They will give you a book on pregnancy which is full of great info and is a godsend when worrying about twinges etc. I can also recommed a book for dads called 'blokes guide to pregnancy', maybe you could get your boyfriend it for xmas.
Just hope you dont make me feel broody :)
Thanks redcrx - how many kids have u got? ages?
Need to ring my GP and confirm which hospital i'd like to go with. Then she'll refer me and we'll go from there...
I have stopped drinking tea - just because it usually makes me feel sick...i have heard about the biscuits and crackers thing whih supposedly helps. Also advised to invest in a 'seaband' to stop the nausea.
I'm about 8-10 weeks along now, need to go for a scan to clarify though...all very exciting...and scary!
Will defintely look into getting that book for my bloke at xmas!
Need to ring my GP and confirm which hospital i'd like to go with. Then she'll refer me and we'll go from there...
I have stopped drinking tea - just because it usually makes me feel sick...i have heard about the biscuits and crackers thing whih supposedly helps. Also advised to invest in a 'seaband' to stop the nausea.
I'm about 8-10 weeks along now, need to go for a scan to clarify though...all very exciting...and scary!
Will defintely look into getting that book for my bloke at xmas!
I have a little boy whos 17 months old. Im 34 so i left it a lot later in life to have kids. Wish Id done it earlier as he is a joy to have and as good as gold really. I manage to work full time as well although I work from home 3 days a week.
I wont say its easy but I was told that the calmer you are as a parent, the calmer the child is.
That first scan is amazing hun, I hope it comes through soon and you get to see the tiny little life.
I wont say its easy but I was told that the calmer you are as a parent, the calmer the child is.
That first scan is amazing hun, I hope it comes through soon and you get to see the tiny little life.
awww 17 months - how cute!
What do u do that enables you to work from home?
I'm still completely terrified of telling my boss!! Gonna wait until the New Year to drop the bomb shell!! Once thats over with i can get on with things!
Me and my boyfriend cant wait for the first scan...it will be tears galore...
What do u do that enables you to work from home?
I'm still completely terrified of telling my boss!! Gonna wait until the New Year to drop the bomb shell!! Once thats over with i can get on with things!
Me and my boyfriend cant wait for the first scan...it will be tears galore...
I am a sales person so it means i can remotely access all my work from home and have a desk set up in spare room amongst all his toys etc. Its not that easy though lol
If you need any help with finding out what tax credits you can get when baby comes then try http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/menus/credits.htm also you should be entitled to 6 weeks off work at 90% pay and then up 30 weeks or so at �90 or 90% of wages if less. Youll be entitled to child benefit as well.
Most women wait until the end of first trimester before telling people like bosses, but dont feel presured into telling them, enjoy the secret a while.
If you have any questions I'll be happy to try and help.
If you need any help with finding out what tax credits you can get when baby comes then try http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/menus/credits.htm also you should be entitled to 6 weeks off work at 90% pay and then up 30 weeks or so at �90 or 90% of wages if less. Youll be entitled to child benefit as well.
Most women wait until the end of first trimester before telling people like bosses, but dont feel presured into telling them, enjoy the secret a while.
If you have any questions I'll be happy to try and help.
Congrats nat & partner!
I always say go for your gut instinct..and I reckon your decision has probably been based on that, eh?
You won't regret it, honestly..as the others have said thre is no right time to have a child ~ you could wait forever for that moment! I had my first baby (unplanned) at 21 and even though I thought I was too young it all worked out for the best. My oldest is now 16 and I couldn't imagine life without her.
I am thrilled for you :o)
I always say go for your gut instinct..and I reckon your decision has probably been based on that, eh?
You won't regret it, honestly..as the others have said thre is no right time to have a child ~ you could wait forever for that moment! I had my first baby (unplanned) at 21 and even though I thought I was too young it all worked out for the best. My oldest is now 16 and I couldn't imagine life without her.
I am thrilled for you :o)
Thanks redcrx - you're like an angel in disguise with all ur advice! There are so many things ive got to look into!
You're lucky your job allows you to work from home. I think once i've done all my maternity leave i'm going to have to find a part-time job, as my office is so small and i'm the only one here most of the time, i think the only option will be for me to leave - which isnt really such a bad thing...because it's so boring.
Pippa68 - Thanks for your comforting words - it definitely makes things easier when you know lots of other people have got through a young pregnancy successfully and happily :o) xxx
You're lucky your job allows you to work from home. I think once i've done all my maternity leave i'm going to have to find a part-time job, as my office is so small and i'm the only one here most of the time, i think the only option will be for me to leave - which isnt really such a bad thing...because it's so boring.
Pippa68 - Thanks for your comforting words - it definitely makes things easier when you know lots of other people have got through a young pregnancy successfully and happily :o) xxx
if you want to work part time then you do have the right to ask your employer to change you hours to part time. They have to consider it as well, but cant always do it.
Its the scariest and most rewarding time of your life and youll be amazed by your own body and what youre capable of.
oooh Im excited for you :)
Its the scariest and most rewarding time of your life and youll be amazed by your own body and what youre capable of.
oooh Im excited for you :)
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