really sad

[bednobs]

i noticed today that my 8 week old had a small discharge on her girl bits. i asked my husband if he'd seen it before when he bathed her/ changed the nappy. his reply was that he didn't look at those bits. when pressed on why he said it felt a bit wrong to be looking at her bits.
That is a really sad indictment on today's society that a dad feels he shouldn't be looking at his daughters bits when she's 8 weeks old.
Do other dads feel like this/? like they'll be criticised or disapproved for it?

[bednobs]

i didn't ask what everyone thought of his oversight grasscarp

[sherrardk]

I'm with ummm there, did seem a bit intrusive (remember asking my sister for advice).

[grasscarp]

Sorry. I thought you were inviting comments on what happened.

[bednobs]

no, i was asking if other dads felt the same

[bednobs]

seriously, no need for apologies

[sherrardk]

Breeny, congratulations on your good news. However, I found your comments to be unhelpful as did someone else which resulted in your comment being removed. (I am far from being a drama queen, which if you stick around long enough you will find out - my comment to you was meant to be helpful in that people on here reveal a lot about their personal lives and therefore their characters).

[maggiebee]

Have arrived a bit late on this discussion but would just like to say that my son, daughter-in-law, their daughter (7) and son (4) all shared their huge bath on a regular basis for a few years. All perfectly normal and, I think, very healthy. My son is a nursery nurse and is used to being with children of both sexes from birth til they start school.

[grasscarp]

Ok but bathing a child you can't help but see their whole body. Whether or not with the splashing and the cleaning you noticed anything abnormal anywhere on their little body is not really a subject to debate. He is a parent and not a doctor.

[bednobs]

well GC, i wasn't really intending to debate whether he noticed a discharge or not, more the fact that he (and seemingly other dads) feel somehow wrong looking at their daughters bits for fear of being percieved as wrong in (i suppose) a sexual way

[shoota]

Forgotten where they are..............

[anneasquith]

maybe dad will become more comfortable as time passes. the only thing i^d be concerned about bednobs , that she is properly cleaned around the vulval area when she poo^s.

[NOX]

I find it really frustrating and irritating that we now live in a culture where nudity is automatically equated with sex. A naked body in itself be it a child's or an adults is not a sexual thing therefore there is no reason in the world why parents of the opposite sex to their child ought to feel awkward, worried or embarrassed at something as harmless as changing a nappy or checking the well being of their infant. I must say it never overly bothered me, but I can see why some men are very worried as we now live in a paedo paranoid society where every man is a potential monster and every child the potential victim of some Santa Claus who might it to sit on his knee or something equally damaging.

[Eve]

Awww that is really sad. I do feel for guys as it can lead to some awkward situations. Not that long ago a load of us went iceskating and were round at different speeds and in different groups, up and down watching, getting a drink etc... One of the guys was skating round on his own at one point and was approached by some very arsey women who started interrogating him about why he was there on his own as a man, was he a paedophile etc...

I feel awkward enough sometimes keeping an eye on very young children I see on their own around town, a very busy city centre, unfortunately quite a few too, to make sure they are with someone, keep an eye on them and help them if needs be.

I worry, maybe unnecesarily, that people will think I'm some potential child snatcher and I'm a young(ish) female so must be far worse for men. It wouldn't stop me helping a child if they needed it though and I've reunited a few who had got separated from their parents. At least shops are easier as you can entrust them to a security guard or assistant who can do a tannoy call or similar.

[j0nb0y]

I am a 42 year old guy who recently became a Grandad to a beautiful Grandson. I love to lay him on my bare chest after bathing him. My girlfriend finds that odd. My daughter and ex wife know that it is totally natural and because I love him to bits. But it did make me question myself and whether or not it was appropriate.

[bednobs]

it feels so lovely doesn't it jonboy?

[j0nb0y]

ABSOLUTELY- I could lay there for hours (and sometimes do) just looking at him and smelling him. Purest love in the world. I bath him, change his nappies (even the really smelly ones!!!!) Same as I did with both my children.

[nfn]

Babies need to be clean. Whoever is cleaning them/changing their nappy needs to make sure that the baby is clean. It's as simple as that. When a child can clean themselves then they will decide who will see them naked. For Funks Sake some of us parents just love our kids - not every adult is a paedophile!

[karenmac60]

My ex felt kind of like that about our daughter, but he fought it so as to make sure he was making the most of her baby years. He had to stop sharing a bath with her though, after she stood on his lad ;)