married couples not sleeping together
what is your view on this? Last night myself and a group of work colleagues had a few drinks and were talking about sex (as you do!) One of them said that her and her hubby slept in seperate bedrooms and had done for quite some time, in fact enough time so their 6 year old son thinks it is 'normal' for mummy and daddy to have their own rooms just like him!! I tried not to act shocked but I guess I was. As much as my hubby annoys me snoring sometimes we have only spent the night apart if one of us has been ill. We asked her about how she had sex and she said she rarely did and they lived a bit like brother and sister and barely kissed properly. It got me thinking if they had a future really but she said they loved each other so it was fine. What do you think? Is this normal?
tigwig Fri 04/07/08 10:18
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I couldnt muself but some people do live like that, take helena Bonham Carter she actually lives next door to her partner. Some people like alot of space it doesnt mean they dont love eachother, love isnt always about sex, some people can be at it like rabbits and not love eachother. I myself love having my bloke there just to cuddle at night.
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It is hard to say just what IS normal.....I suppose if they are both very light sleepers, and they both have very low sex drives,then it works for them. But to never kiss properly does sound quite sad.....they could certainly have a good snog on the sofa!!
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ive been in spare room since baby was born (11 weeks now)
tbh im getting more sleep that way and itll stay like that until baby is in cot
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Question Author
I think if there is a good reason for it like a new baby its ok but they just say they don't like to share the same bed!
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then thats there own reasons. All people are different that doesnt mean to say its wrong that they dont share a bed
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I have always had my own bedroom and been very happily married.
I sleep at most 4 hours a night so spend a lot of time in bed reading or listening to music. If somebody else was in bed with me I would never be able to sleep - I wake at the slightest movement or noise.
There is something very nice about the night time creeping along the landing, but you don't have to be in bed to have sex, nor does it have to be night time. :)
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all you do is sleep (for the most) so if you get a better quality of sleep in seperate rooms then fine.
and people can love each other and still have seperate beds, outlooks of life change.
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I am not married yet but we have been together about 6 years now we will always be together, like two peas in a pod we live together and work together in our own business which deals with very stressful situations and constant phonecalls from either people crying or shouting, but we seem to just cope fine and never get bored of each other.
Since we got together though my boyfriend and put on more and more weight due to the stress of the job it is his way of coping he is now 20 + stone and we have separate beds due to his extremely loud snoring, movement, and heat he gives off.
I sleep in the same room though I still have problems sleeping with the snoring but I feel if we get separate rooms we wont go back again and I dont think it healthy esp for a couple that are so early in their relationship.
We also havent had sex in a couple of years now it is just impossible with his weight you see, he carries the weight round well on a daily basis but for sex it is just impossible really. I find it a bit hard to cope with, I have slowly got used to the lack of sex at 27 but I hope he will lose weight in the future so we can have our lives back as I see it.
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I dont mean to sound rude in this and I'm being serious here, can you not just get on top and do all the work what?....the
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Might have a bit of difficulty staying on - like s****ing a jelly, wobble wobble.
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i would love to have the bed to myself all the time ..i sleep better when i sleep on my own ..
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My hubby is a long distance lorry driver and only home on a weekend. I hate having to share my bed when I've had it to myself all week cos he snores and sweats and I can't get to sleep. I'll be buying bunk beds when he retires !
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Some people just can’t sleep in the same bed as anyone else, my friends parents had separate bedrooms I think it was because he used to do a night shift somewhere so he had his own room so he could sleep in the day.
I’m not married but I’m sure sometime you’d just want your own space.
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well due to the fat his 'man hood' is not big enough for any position well I might as well have fun with a lady....mmmm actually lol
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If whatever happens in a marriage is with the agreement of both partners,then I can't see anything wrong with it.
It's only when ONE partner forces something on the other that it starts to go wrong.
What two people do in their relationship is their own business.
Lady Antonia Fraser(the author) & Harold Pinter(the playwright) who have been married since 1980,do not live together(like 4getmenot says of HBC) they need their own space.Oddly enough,BEFORE they were married,1975~1980 they DID live together!
It's an odd world ain't it?
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Sex and sleeping together are too different topics to be dealt with differently. But first of all. I would like all contributors to read ETHEL's ultimate paragraph which I think is absolutely lovely in the true sense of the word. Well done Ethel, you have gone up even higher in my appreciation of you.
It doesn't matter a "jot" if you sleep together or not.
Sex? completely different topic.
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i bet ethel has some stories to tell lol
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yeah you can have sex on the kitchen table ....
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